Don't butter my toast

I will butter my own toast thank you
It’s my toast. I know just how I like it
So I will butter it

This used to be my view,
My automatic response whenever someone offered their butter

Then I tasted his butter and I didn’t mind so much
It’s not quite how I butter my toast but it’s just as good.
Do I dare to say better?

It’s that slap you on the face, knock it out of the park, send your letter, steal your breath, sweep completely under your toes, burn your dinner, butter your toast kind of butter

And you know what?

He can butter my toast anytime

Wow; definitly an odd concept but I can see the metaphoric message between the lines. Its is a good poem as it is written simply to communicate an idea that is better understood that way. When I say simple I don't mean boring and grade-3 standard. In fact it is rather interesting and I like the way you have done it. Well done.
-Blossom xx

Hey,

I totally suck at reviewing poetry but I'd like you to see this, because it was the first thing I thought of when I saw the title: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29sWHoDXuwI. By the way, even though I don't really understand it, nice poem!

~Jas

Nom nom nom, Hi Poet that I don't know! I'm Freyja, and let me say...this poem made me giggle.

I love the subject matter: Love is toast, yes? I think that's what it is, anyway.

One thing I did notice is that there is some punctuation in there where it should be, and also none where there should be if you want to keep up this trend of punctuating your poetry. My advice:

TheUnknownPoet wrote:I will butter my own toast, thank you.
It’s my toast. I know just how I like it,
So I will butter it.

(I really like the first stanza. It sets the poem up strongly, brings me in...makes me think it's going to go in a completely different direction than it actually did. In other words, I am happy that, to me, your poem was not predictable.)

This used to be my view,
My automatic response whenever someone offered their butter.

Then I tasted his butter and I didn’t mind so much.
It’s not quite how I butter my toast but it’s just as good.
Do I dare to say better? (I might suggest taking out "to" here. It flows weird.

It’s that slap you on the face, knock it out of the park, send your letter, steal your breath, sweep completely under your toes, burn your dinner, butter your toast kind of butter.

(This is my favorite...stanza? Normally, I'd be like, "What happened here? Why's it...you BROKE it!" But here the breaking the pattern of keeping the lines short-ish sort of works, gives the impression that you're rambling on quickly. Racing thoughts. It works.)

And you know what?

He can butter my toast anytime.

Yup, as I said. I love how you set it up one way and end it with a sort of, "Well, I guess I was wrong...so let's go with it" decision.

Very creative, funny, cute, what-have-you. Unique. Only thing that I had any qualms about was the punctuation, so yay!

Well, here's saying that I'm not great at critiquing poetry, but that's my two cents.

Keep writing!

thank you for your kind reviews. Vanadin. you are appreciated. in reference to the punctuation i shall refer you to my first poem. Lightening in the common room. thank you for your time

Oh my goodness, I love this! Totally bizarre but fun! I'm not a huge poetry buff, but I adore this!

I'm not a good nittpicker, so I'm not going to deal with that. But, yeah, intreaging way to think of being original. Original way to think of being original. :)

So I thought this was a weird concept at first, but it's definatly interesting. I like it.

hey!
Just want to say that this is my type of poetry and well done.Vana covered everyhing I would say regarding punctuation etc. but otherwise this is a fantastic poem keep going!

DITR

This was just... wow! It was completely untraditional, and unconventional and odd and ... wonderful! I laughed from start to finish but it's just something everyone can relate to; even if you've conveyed the message in a very different way. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading!

I really liked the theme of the poem. It's quite entertaining, 'Don't butter my toast'. Neatly done like a professional poet.

TheUnknownPoet wrote:It’s that slap you on the face, knock it out of the park, send your letter, steal your breath, sweep completely under your toes, burn your dinner, butter your toast kind of butter

I would suggest that you write each sentence after a comma on a different line if you want. There is nothing wrong with the poetry though, it's amazing so keep it up.