The Cloud of Loveliness

All around you words will fly,
Screaming LOVE LOVE and shoot !chut!
right into your heart

Just below you will see people thrashing by,
Hawking MOVE MOVE and smack !thwap!
right into your face

Swimming on your feet will be the fishes of the sky,
Glupping ROUND and ROUND and they slip !slide!
in dizzy little circles

Just to your left, I will be smiling shy,
Craving MORE MORE as I grab !take!
your hand into mine

Just to your right, you will give a little sigh
Thinking YES YES whilst the sweeties march !MARCH!
wondering right on through

Right there inside you, you will find what you covet.

Here’s just a little something for you to FLOAT on whenever you feel the need.

I found the sound effect things pretty cool but I didn't know what they were...they should have been in parathensises (or however it's spelled) or something.

AsxLoversxGo wrote:I found the sound effect things pretty cool but I didn't know what they were...they should have been in parathensises (or however it's spelled) or something.

I kinda of agree, but the poem itself was good. It was dramatic.

What is this?

Are you like some poet or something because this was great! I mean you may have actually changed my opinion on poetry from being the lame thing I like to think it as. But that is only because I cannot do it and anything I cannot do is lame...But as I said before, you have changed my opinion.

I love the way you used drama to bring out the message you're trying to get across. And I mean for once in my darn flippin's life I get the message from a poem. And trust me, that is a big feat because golly, God knows I do not get poetry. Great job.

I cannot really help you in reviewing this as I do not even know what a stanza is, but I can only tell you how much I enjoyed this. And I really did enjoy this peice.

~Apple.