Life in a 6th graders view Part 1

(Mistakes/questions are in red) Ugh, middle school was tough. (this first sentence isn't much of an attention-grabber. It seems very bland and obvious. Why not give a small example in this first sentence, or maybe some kind of joke?) On first period, I learned I had the exact same classes as Alex, the guy I liked. It was kinda depressing (I blush when I see him) and kinda great, too. However, the classes made us haul a ton. (Haul a ton of what? I assume books and stuff like that, but you should clarify.) After 6th period, the locker was stuck. As much as I banged on it, it refused. Why was it stuck? Did all your books fall on the lock or something? {Side note, this actually happened to me two weeks ago }) When a friend tried to open it, the locker smoothly undid itself. How unfair. I officially hated it. But I had anger issues sometimes, so whatever.

(This would be a good point to start a new paragraph, since your suddenly switching topics.)

As of being in S.T.E.M., an advanced gifted program, all of the classes were far apart with a lot in between. (Far apart in spacing? Lot of what in between?) Didn't I already go down this hallway? The incident reminded me of "Black and White Ward", by Rin and Len Kagamine. The two were running, trying to find an exit from doom, but only Rin escaped. Then comes the bell. (That seems like a sudden change of topic. Try to find some way to more easily connect those two sentences.) Ten minutes into class, and I arrive at the door, escorted by two eighth graders.

('nother good new paragraph spot.)

As school progressed, I kept thinking of Alex. Until October 1st, a day I'll never forget. (That seems like a fragment sentence, even though it has the noun and verb. Try to fill out that sentence more.) I was on a walk when I saw his brother, Elijah. We said hi, but then I took a different way. I saw a stray dog and got so scared (did I mention I was short? Imagine the dog) I circled around, staying at least 100 feet from the beast. (Why not put something more along the lines of "trying to stay as far ahead of the beast as I could"?) I saw a ball game, and as I looked closer, I realized the shirts were the color as Alex's team. Nope, wrong team. He wasn't there. Although I really wanted to see him. I decided to watch the game on the other side of the path and stand next to the area the people going up to bat would be at. "Hiya." I almost screamed when I recognized that voice.

(When you have some moment where the reader goes 'woah, who is that/what's gonna happen/whatever, then is a good idea to start a new paragraph as, to me, it makes the surprise surprise the reader that much more efficiently.)

It. Was. Alex. I thought he was at home or something. But that would explain why Elijah was hanging around here. Just then I noticed that his team shirt color was black, not blue. He took off his hat. Oh my god, he cut his hair! Wow. Since Elijah came to watch, the coach told him to control the scoreboard, and he took me up there to look at it. Random change of subject. This would be a good place to have some back-and-forth dialogue between your main character and Alex, then Elijah comes and takes your MC to the scoreboard.) Once we were up there, a funny looking gray thing caught my attention. I thought it was a dead bug on top of a rock, so I pointed at it and backed up. Elijah picked it up. I screamed so loud the batter got a strike. (What does this have to do with any part of the story? If it's not absolutely vital to some element of your story, cut it. Otherwise, the reader might become bored and stop reading.) The rest of the time I hung around the dugout, talking with Alex. Soon enough, it was time to leave. (If you just put 'Soon, it was time to leave' it almost sounds like your MC WANTS to leave.)

(New day, new topic, new paragraph!)

In second period on Monday, we learned about the mean, median, mode, and range. Didn't we already learn this? In third grade? As the class came to an end, our teacher told us we would be going to the more exciting half of statistics. I didn't know statistics could be "exciting". Then comes science. The review drove me insane. I hate drawing all of those electrons! Lunch, in the middle of the period, came too quickly. Aleksis was talking mostly, and somehow, the subject of Alex came up. She added that they were dating. Hannah understood my expression; she was the only person I had told. (Who are all these people? Are they friends of your MC, or not? What do they look like? Act like? Talk like?) Does this mean I was unloved? It all reminded me of my favorite manga, Pita Ten. A girl likes a guy for a while. Once they enter 6th grade, a strange (and slightly older) girl begins dating him. The first girl becomes irked a lot. Gah, the rest of the day was in a fog. I had to present with him (does life hate me??) in geography, I didn't finish my assignment in technology, in band I almost cried, and I was literally counting the seconds until we left during language arts. After all homework was done, I lied down on the bed and held up my little bell for comfort. (What's this little bell?) I finally decided I would think it over with hot cocoa. First thought: It's probably because he doesn't want to be alone and won't go for a loser like me. Second thought: even Aleksis said she knew it wasn't going to work. Third: I learned from her, and Zack told me Alex was telling everyone. Does that mean he was trying to hide it from me? I dumped out the last drops of cocoa, because I didn't want to get fat. (This last sentence just screams "RANDOM" to me. It seems way to off-topic to be your concluding sentence.)