Close Your Eyes

I lay beneath the sky, next to the earth
The sun is high in the sky,
And the bright light reaches my face,
My eyes are closed, and I feel you all around me.
I remember it all too well, The summer, the court, the water.
I smile through the years, and what it brought,
For life is better when I think of you,You were my tether to happiness,
And I can't help but go back to that time.
I"m lost in the sunlight,
I'm lost in my own joy,
I'm not here anymore, but back with you.
And then I open my eyes,
You're gone.

Tell me what you guys think....please

I really enjoyed this, and could see the emotion behind it. But of course, this wouldn't be a helpful review at all if I didn't have some point to it.

SilentOllie wrote:My eyes are closed, and I feel you all around me.

SilentOllie wrote:For life is better when I think of you,You were my tether to happiness,

With these lines, I feel like two separate lines got crammed into each, and passed off as one. it might read better if you were to separate them at the comma. Additionally, in the second line(of the two that are quoted); the word "for" seems a little bit awkward.

SilentOllie wrote:I lay beneath the sky, next to the earth
The sun is high in the sky,

In this section, the word sky is used twice and it doesn't quite read right.
Finally, two minor grammar mistakes:

SilentOllie wrote:I remember it all too well, The summer, the court, the water.

"The summer" shouldn't be capitalized. In addition; " the summer, the court, the water" is a list, and therefore need a colon in front of it.

This didn't have a whole lot of impact on me personally, but to each his own, right? Anyway, since I'm still reviewing, my basic thought was that you never really grasped one single concept and that made it confusing. Honestly, I didn't understand what you were talking about half the time. I also didn't like the lines like "I'm lost in the sunlight/I'm lost in my joy" just because it's kind of typical. Same goes for the first couple of lines.
Overall, I'm...confused. I just can't find any link of relation to what's going on. That's just my take on it. Sorry.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

How sincere, only that you have described your own little experience in your own little style, and that does not help many people in relating to your words and images. I thought it was sweet, deep, and full of amazing images that blow your mind. Good work.

Oh dear, this reminds me of the recent break up that I had with my best friend, Joseph. It's really sad, I'm at school and I may start crying (doesn't help he's right in front of me.)

But I like the imagry. It brings back good memories for me.

Hello, SilentOllie!
I really liked your poem. ) keep it up!

SilentOllie wrote:I lay beneath the sky, next to the earth
The sun is high in the sky,
And the bright light reaches my face,
My eyes are closed, and I feel you all around me.
I remember it all too well, The summer, the court, the water.
I smile through the years, and what it brought,
For life is better when I think of you,You were my tether to happiness,
And I can't help but go back to that time.
I"m lost in the sunlight,
I'm lost in my own joy,
I'm not here anymore, but back with you.
And then I open my eyes,
You're gone.