Young Writers Society

Our story isn't over,
It's just commercial break.
Wherever I go-
Your love with me I'll take.
Our life together isn't over,
And it will never end-
Let me know you miss me,
And my love to you I'll send-
Our story isn't over-
And this I promise you,
Our story isn't over-
It's just...
to
be
continued....

Ladyequine91 wrote:Our story isn't over,
It's just commercial break.
Wherever that I go,
Your love with me I'll take.
Our life together isn't over,
And it will never end.
Let me know you miss me,
And my love to you I'll send.
Our story isn't over,
And this I promise you,
Our story isn't over,
It's just...
to
be
continued....

I like this one. One minor issue: "Wherever that I go" perhaps that should just be "Wherever I go"?
Excellent poem though. I especially liked: "Our story isn't over,
It's just...
to
be
continued...."

If there was more punctuation it would have been a little easier to understand. For example:

"Our story isn’t over-
It’s just a commercial break.
Wherever I go-
Your love with me…I’ll take"

Just adding in the ‘-’ pauses makes it known that there should a pause or a breathe. That way you’re not reading all at once it gives the reader time to register what you’re trying to say. I really liked this, too. It was sweet.

This poem was amazing! One of my favorites! But I think it would be a lot better with Nicole Lynn's punctuation edits. It makes it seem more...real.

Great job. Really sweet. Nice Message.

Nice! I really liked this one, great flow