Hello again Sol, I'm sad to break the pattern but I'm not as impressed with this piece as with your other one, it seems too slapdash, and a lot of it come across as we've heard it all before. But I shall explain why I don't like this fully, to help you understand I think.
Okay, angst can work in a poem but one like here, it isn't a good idea to post, it's uses cliches, generic wording and rather than coming across sad or tragic, it sound very much like a piece you see on other sites, the kind which try to sound depressing, but since it resort to using phrases you hear in everything from romcoms to bad love poetry it's hard to differentiate and for a poem to be so sad why is the rhyme scheme so sing-song like, it shouldn't seem like a nursery rhyme. Worse still it then ignore the scheme at the end ignoring consistency and then when you add it doesn't even allow us in, you're getting into a terrible mess here.
Overall: It seems like it has potential, but that would involve trying to use some more emotional wording, capturing us with some imagery and staying consistent with the rhyme scheme, just because it's the end doesn't mean you can drop it all of sudden. I liked your other poem, not this one so much.
Hope this helps.
