The Psychic Life Of Rose Wheeler Chapter 9

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
We had reached the town then, I mean the downtown part. The woods gave way to little shops and pubs. The shops were all centered around a park with a massive tree in the middle. There were candles around it, all of them pure white. There were people putting them down or lighting them. It was like there was a ceremony taking place. But people were walking and talking and smiling, so obviously no one had died recently.

Landon had taken a notice to my interest in the tree. "That's the sacred tree. It's the core of our town. Where the tree stands happens to have been the place of many things, rituals, murders, hangings, the whole sha-bang. Last spring there was a dilemma. I'll tell you about that later." He opened the door to a little dark restraunt. It had dark wood and dim lighting. The restraunt wasn't all that busy. There were a few people setting at the tables and few standing and playing pool and arcade games of sorts.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"The Tavern." He said. He looked at his watch. "Logan should already be here. Ah, there he is." Logan was located in the far back corner looking down at his soda.

I walked over to him and said "Whoa, man, you look like hell."

His head snapped up and looked at me. I think he was searching for some transparency. He probably thought I was a ghost. "Rose, ohmigod, Rose, you're alive, I thought you were-" He looked like he was going to faint.

"Dead, I know. That's what you get for giving up on me so fast." I smiled at him. He jumped off the chair and gave me a big hug.

"Ohmigod, I thought I had lost you."

"Well, you didn't. Landon saved me." He dropped me and gave Landon a big hug, murmuring something like "I owe you."

"Now that it is nearly seven-thirty. I haven't eaten all day, and I almost died, so can we please get something to eat?" I whined. I probably sounded like an eight-year-old, but damn was I hungry.

Landon smiled and Logan chuckled at me. "Of course, of course. I guess almost dying does that to you."

After we ate, Landon and I explained what had happened after he stormed off in the woods.

"Ah, that's what it was." He said referring to my black-out dream.

"What was what?" I asked. I had finished my wonderful cheeseburger and all the fries that came with it.

"You sure eat a hell of a lot for a girl." said Landon who was sitting next to me.

Logan ignored the comment and so did I. “The screaming. You must have screamed when you came back." said Logan. He sounded logical.

"But I didn't scream." I looked to Landon.

"You didn't scream physically, but rather mentally." Landon turned toward me so that his body was facing mine. "You did scream. It was done with your powers. We heard it with our powers. That's actually why the Carter kid called." His arm was casually draped across the back of my chair. Logan caught it and narrowed his eyes at us. Feeling almost as uncomfortable as I, he removed his arm.

"So does that mean I’m telepathic or what?" I asked. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. I took a big breath and then let it out.

"Not really. When you are a psychic, you can connect to other psychics, but only if you allow it to. You can build up walls around your mind so only the stuff you want us to hear can be heard." He paused so I could let it sink in.

"Okay," I said. I had dosed off in the middle there.

"It's almost eleven at night. Rose, you must be tired." said Logan.

Once again I had dozed off. "Yeah, yeah," I mumbled, my eyes slowly closing as they spoke.

"Okay, time to go." said one of them. Someone put their hands on both of my elbows and helped me up. I suspected Landon.

I tried to walk to where he guided me, but I still ran into a chair. I opened my eye lids and found that they were really heavy. I closed them again.

I knew that we had reached the outside because there was a gust of wind.

"Okay, Rose, I'm going to pick you up. so don't scream when you feel like you're flying." This time I knew it was Logan.

"I'll pick her up, man. I'll take her home." said Landon.

They started bickering over the topic. It seemed like it wouldn't end anytime soon so, I started walking half asleep. That wasn't a good idea because I barely know where I am or where I'm supposed to go.

"Oh, no you don't." Someone grabbed my arm and told me to let them carry me.

"Hell no. I'm not gonna watch you two fight again." I started walking again.

Landon came up and swept me off my feet, literally. "Please don't fight me," he said, "I'm tired as well, and would hate to fight you."

"So," I drawled, "you're just gonna carry me all the way to my house?"

"No, no," he said. He took a left into a parking lot and went to a black altima. He opened the passenger door, and placed me in the seat. He buckled me up, and slammed the door shut.

I was too tired to keep my eyes open anymore. The next sounds I heard were the car door shutting and the engine roared to life.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1414
Reviews 58
It seems like a good book. It has good descriptions and I could understand what had just happened. Even though I did not read the eight previous chapters. I would add more of what had just happened and weave it in the story. This would emphasize the event and make it all better. Well it is just my opinion just to do so. Though this story is a long one, which can be good or bad, depending on the story. Well off to the next review, adieu,
the amazing CardDragon.
[color=#FF0000]I AM SICK PHANTOM![/color]




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 15813
Reviews 213
Hi there! I'll review this today.

Grammar:

"The Tavern," he said. He looked at his watch. "Logan should already be here. Ah, there he is." Logan was located in the far back corner looking down at his soda.

I walked over to him and said, "Whoa, man, you look like hell."


Commas. In dialogue, you need them to end it, such as with the tavern bit, or to introduce a bit of dialogue, such as "Whoa...."

Other than that, I have no grammatical nitpicks.

Other stuff:
Your dialogue is rather wooden. It seems forced, and doesn't flow conversationally. Other than that, the descriptions are decent, and the reader isn't completely lost even if they, like both me and CardDragon, haven't read the other eight chapters.

Peace, happiness, and Fahrvergnügen,

Sporks
Grasped by the throat, grasped by the throat. That's how I feel about love. That it's not worth it.

REVIEWS FOR YOU | | Uprising (coming soon!)



My life, my loves, where are they now?
— Richard Linklater