Artisitc Hedonism (rated for content)

This was a colaboration between me and CL. Hope you enjoy it

You fell in my hands,
flailing, praying
lips morphed with mine
beckoning for passion.
your flashing eyes,
floating hair,
the tip-touch of red and pink,
fantasies in the mind.
pushed deep in the bed,
honey and love hath fed,
and you drunk the milk, the
paradise of me.
as the night bid rest
you exploded like
a dying star inside me.
triggered by strangled flesh
I screamed you name.

Obviously its suggestive, but content aside, it's pretty good.

beautiful imagery. it was short but perfect - the title, was an eye catcher, and the poem itself was very good.

my favorite parts:

floating hair,
the tip-touch of red and pink,

you exploded like
a dying star inside me.
triggered by strangled flesh
I screamed you name.

i believe that this is a beautiful topic of poetry to pursue, espicially since it takes body and mind and has very strong emotions tied into it.

I dig, feels goodlio.

Beautiful.

Arvandor wrote:


I screamed you name.

Your name.

Ditto what timjim said. Also:

fantasies in the mind.
pushed deep in the bed,

I think the period is misplaced. It gives a much better picture without it, since the sentences blend so well together. And no comma where the period should be either!

Thx for the lovely comments everyone.