Alright, so, your style of writing is sort of confusing. The way you write in first person, yet have other peoples thoughts. Thank you for explaining that. Now onto your MC. i'll admit it. I haven't read the other parts, but I will. Just from this, part though, your MC seems like a Mary-Sue. Just because of her powers thing. Please, take the test. It's really helpful (http://www.ponylandpress.com/ms-test.html)
keep writing ~WickedWonder
'We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, oh, we will never believe in anything again, preach electric to a microphone stand.'
