True Me

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Since when was fake the new trend,
A clone of a clone considered cool?
Individuality wasn’t once a handicap;
Different wasn’t a disease.
Am I supposed to look like all the others,
Just so I can roll with the tide,
Catch an easy ride down to shore?
I never felt lost when I was blind,
Never felt so uneasy and unsure.

Well I don’t understand the skin-tight clothes,
The plain-faced masks that they all wear.
Since when did being happy become
An outdated emotion?
Am I supposed to act like all the others,
Just so I can catch the Jetstream,
Let things loose and slide?
I dunno, I guess that it’s just not me;
I think I’ll make a trend for myself -
True face, true thought, all you see.
I, myself, me.
Last edited by StoryWeaver13 on Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. ~Lemony Snicket




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Hi StoryWeaver13,

I love ur peom! I can really relate it to real life and was so powerful is that what you said was the truth. The "fakeness" in this world has really become a problem and your peom shows cases this. It is so good how you focus around the dishonesty. Like you I don't understand the need to be perfect. People should accept each other for who they are not the mask the are putting on! Our poem is great!! I love it!

Keep up the good work. (im new to YWS with only 1 story)

Thanx
watchmeburn
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."




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Hey! I like how this poem is basically what everyone thinks but doesn't want to say or much less do most of the time. It's really easy to relate to and that's always good especially when it comes to poems. I didn't come across any grammar mistakes and those always bug me so good job on that. (:
Individuality wasn’t once a handicap;
Different wasn’t a disease.

I really like this part and the way you worded it.

I never felt lost when I was blinder,
Never felt so uneasy and unsure.

Of course I found one thing to pick at and that would be these two lines. So, I understand these lines, but they sound a tad bit confusing and I had to read them again to get it. It's probably just me, sorry, but maybe you could reword them or something.

I dunno, I guess that it’s just not me;
I think I’ll make a trend for myself -
True face, true thought, all you see.
I, myself, and me.

Okay, I really like this ending and how it rhymes, but you don't have a rhyming pattern through most of your poem so it seems a little out of place. I'm not saying it shouldn't rhyme, but maybe it shouldn't rhyme as much.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty good poem.
Great work and keep weaving those stories! :)
Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration?
- George Eliot


"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."




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Wow! I really like this poem. It flows so well, it makes me want to melt. I would have to agree with SimplyComplex though, the lines "I never felt lost when I was blinder, Never felt so uneasy and unsure." Don't really make sense to me, and don't seem to fit in with the theme of the poem. Also, I'm pretty sure that "blinder" is not actually a word, I think the only way to say it is "more blind". Also the the line, "The plain-faced masks that they all wear." Doesn't naturally flow into the lines, "Since when did being happy become An outdated emotion?". It's like there's a break inbetween the two phrases that disconects the flow. Besides that, I loved your poem. Keep writing!




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May I say just B R A V O??? It is really how I feel about your poem, because you wrote about something very important. Today if a person is a bit different he is considered to be "NOT NORMAL" and even sometimes the "clones" use insulting words to make that person feel how bad it is to be different. But I myslef hate any frames for people, I hate it when something is considered "normal" and all the other things that are not in that frame are "not normal". I dont like it when people make categories of anyhthing. You spoke about that, and you did it in a very nice way, I really liked your poem, and I think that if there were more people who thought like that the world would be better... Wish you good luck and hope you will reach your every destination.
With love,
Ninett



"You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things..."
— Gone With the Wind