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Shraz · 2006-01-23T02:44:37Z

Scarlet claws run down the young boy’s neck, leaving a trail of red dripping down unto his chest. He shivers, paralysed in pain and pain. His eyes flick desperately through the room, his eyes wide and pleading. “So fragile, delicate…” A sudden movement, a scream, her face is covered in a spray of blood, and the body stiffens, then goes limp. It would be several minutes before rigormortis froze the child's broken legs in their awkward angles, but the boys eyes were already glassy with death. “They break so easy, don’t you think, darling?” The blood drips down the girl's face, over her lips, down her neck. Her mother's dripping fingers slip inside her mouth, filling it with a sweet coppery taste. “It tastes good, doesn’t it?” Slick hands leave red streaks in her daughters hair, painted red lips rest next to the girl’s ear, leaving scarlet smudges on her face. “That is the taste of victory, Temari. Power. We have it, and they don’t. Remember that.” Long scarlet claws drag over her neck, skimming over her throat again and again. “You ruined my life, Temari,.” She said, "Staining my family's name with your father's impure blood..." The woman's eyes, covered with a film of hysteria and insanity, sharpened. "We're always alone, aren't we, darling?” She lay back, pulling her daughter with her. "You love me, don't you?" She whispered to herself, running her sharped nails along her childs scalp hard enough to draw blood. Her hair fanned out in a sticky halo around her head, slowly absorbing the blood creeping across the floor. She looked like an angel. ~ Yes, this is changed from the original. There are two other fics related to this. Failure, and Premonitions. Criticism is enjoyed.

Fireweed

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Tue Feb 07, 2006 5:31 am

Fireweed says... · Tue Feb 07, 2006 5:31 am

oh. okay. gotcha. sorry.

"I myself am composed entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."- Augusten Burroughs

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Fireweed

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Points 890

Reviews 335

Wed Feb 08, 2006 3:14 am

Fireweed says... · Wed Feb 08, 2006 3:14 am

okay, heres something noone has mentioned: ZEE TITLE!!!

I was just browsing some old YWS fiction and I saw another story called revenge. a friend 'o' mine recently wrote one with the same title as well. an original story such as this one calls for a unique title. perhaps you could brainstorm a few. titles are such a bother. i suck most heinously at them. but see what you can come up with, eh?

"I myself am composed entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."- Augusten Burroughs

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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
— Groucho Marx

Holy

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