It Feels....

I'm left behind.
As you move on,
I stand still.

Nothing can change what's happened;
It's how it's meant to be,
That's what you said.

How does it feel?

To be left behind by the one you loved?
To be tossed aside like an unwanted memory?
How does it feel to be forgotten?

I'll tell you.

It has no feeling.

It's like time has stopped.
Time has no meaning,
Not anymore.

It feels like anger.

Anger that ripples under the surface.
Anger that shines like the sun.
Anger that burns beneath the surface,
Until you're scorched through.

Nothing left but an empty shell.
Nothing left but an empty space.

It feels like pain.

Pain that's like tiny needles thrust into your skin.
Pain that slashes and cuts.
Pain that bleeds.
Pain without reason.

It feels numb,

Without feeling.
You care about nothing anymore.

You're tired of tears.
You're tired of anger,
Of hurt,
Of time.

The pain doesn't help.
You still remember.

It feels desolate,

Like a barren desert;
Like you are nothing.

It feels like you were never here,
Like you never existed.

If I were lucky,
You never did.

This is good, I got the feeling that you were tryinh to protray here... I do have a few suggestions though...

I'm left behind,
As you move on, << you should get rid of this comma...
I stand still.

Nothing can change what's happened;
"It's how it's meant to be."
That's what you said.

How does it feel?
To be left behind by the one you loved?
To be tossed aside like an unwanted memory?
How does it feel to be forgotten? << I like this whole part... As you can tell, I think you should but this poem in stanzas...

I'll tell you.
It has no feeling.
It's like time has stopped.
Time has no meaning,
Not anymore.

It feels like anger.
Anger that ripples under the surface.
Anger that shines like the sun.
Anger that burns beneath the surface,
Until you're scorched through.
Nothing left but an empty shell.<<
Nothing left but an empty space. << Both these lines are really good! I wouldn't change then...

It feels like pain.
Pain that's like tiny needles thrust into your skin.
Pain that slashes and cuts.
Pain that bleeds.
Pain without reason.

It feels numb,
Without feeling.<< Here you should take out this whole sintence... You have "it feels numb, without feeling" how can it feel like somethink and not have a feeling... and you have "feel" and "feeling" way to close, it messes up the rhythm...
You care about nothing anymore.
You're tired of tears.
You're tired of anger,
Of hurt,
Of time.

The pain doesn't help.
You still remember.<< This part you should take out as well... it is unneed, adds nothing to the poem that isn't already there, and it messes up the flow...

It feels desolate,
Like a barren desert;
Like you are nothing.<< I like this to...

It feels like you were never here,
Like you never existed.
If I were lucky,
You never did. << maybe change this to "you never would have" sounds better to me...

Overall, I like the poem, with some work it can be a really good write... I think putting it in stanzas like I showed you would make this easier to read and make the flow better...

Hope this help,

~Rain~

Overall, this was a good poem.

Like SilentRain suggested, you should seperate your poem into stanzas, because it not only makes the poem easier to read, but it gives the poem a bit of a different feel.

I liked this. The metaphors and such that you used were good.

As far as grammer goes, I didn't notice any mistakes that weren't already pointed out by SilentRain.

Good work!

- RedRaven

Hi, Pink here

So, I also agree with what SilentRain suggested, I mean it would have been easier to read if your stanzas were separate.
I did think your poem was a bit fast, like edgy and quick but I liked that. I usually find myself reading slow moving graceful poems and reading this was a bit different. I think this poem could have used a bit more imagery though, I don't know, maybe it was just me. Then again, I haven't read much poetry before and I am neither much of a poet so I'm not much help. Anyways, overall, I liked this and it was a nice read
Cheers,

~Shear

I was just going to say what others have already pointed out, to separate into stanzas. xD Here is how I would personally do this:

I'm left behind.
As you move on,
I stand still.
Nothing can change what's happened;
It's how it's meant to be,
That's what you said.

How does it feel?
To be left behind by the one you loved?
To be tossed aside like an unwanted memory?
How does it feel to be forgotten?

I'll tell you.
It has no feeling.
It's like time has stopped.
Time has no meaning,
Not anymore.

It feels like anger.
Anger that ripples under the surface.
Anger that shines like the sun.
Anger that burns beneath the surface
Until you're scorched through.

Nothing left but an empty shell.
Nothing left but an empty space.
It feels like pain.
Pain that's like tiny needles thrust into your skin.
Pain that slashes and cuts.
Pain that bleeds.
Pain without reason.

It feels numb,
Without feeling.
You care about nothing anymore.
You're tired of tears.
You're tired of anger,
Of hurt,
Of time.

The pain doesn't help.
You still remember.
It feels desolate,
Like a barren desert;
Like you are nothing.
It feels like you were never here,
Like you never existed.

If I were lucky,
You never did.

I got to feel how it is to be left behind, you've explained it pretty well here. I would use some more 'sophisticated' (so to say) words. It gets too simple sometimes.

Good work, amandajo! As a few members already suggested, I would fix the whole mess of a "textblock" you got going on, and change them into separate stanzas! It will make it look a lot prettier, as well make it easier to read!

Other then that, I really enjoyed these lines:

"It feels like anger.
Anger that ripples under the surface.
Anger that shines like the sun.
Anger that burns beneath the surface,
Until you're scorched through.
Nothing left but an empty shell.
Nothing left but an empty space"

Your conclusion was really good as well! I found it very gripping; so direct and to the point!

Keep it up!

Thank you for the comments, I'm going to put the entire thing into stanzas. I'll take your advice into consideration but I think I'll just go with what I feel right. Don't assume that I don't care about your opinion, I do, but I have a good idea on how I want to put this into stanzas. Thanks again and please keep commenting. Thanks.

Well, I can honestly say that this was really good. The only bad part was that when I read it it sounded kinda choppy. If you put it into stanzas the poem would be even more amazing than it already is. Which is a lot of amazingness to put into one poem so I don't think the world is ready for that yet. But seriously you have an excellent piece here.