Marlon Grey rushed after his assailant down the streets of the city. The assailant turned a corner and Marlon followed, only to find that the assailant had disappeared. He turned to a man on the street.
"Quick! Did you see a man rush by here just now?"
"Why yes, I did," the man said.
"Great. Where-" was all that Marlon could say before the man started speaking.
"His name was Jonas, son of Darby, son of Tigger, son of Harvey, son of Jason, son of Harold, son of Abrir. He lives in the village of Arborhood, which is in reference to the many trees that grow there. The name was bestowed by Timothy, the mayor some seventy years before."
"Um..." Marlon said, puzzled at the man's information.
"Prior to that time the village was called "Sedontown, after a hero named Sedon. He was six feet tall, with long blond hair, azure blue eyes, tan skin, a pudgy nose. His shoe size was a size twelve and his waist was thirty inches. He liked long walks on the beach, romantic comedies, puppies, colorful clothing, writing, mud wrestling, midget wrestling, pornography, duels, archery, tennis, chess, boxing, running, jogging, skipping, twirling, dancing, prancing, romancing, necromancy, accounting, particle physics, opera, shimmering, spontaneous combustion, moon-walking, flying, digging, riding horses, riding bats, riding mosquitoes, insects, dinosaurs-"
"If you'll just tell me where he went, I'll be on my way," Marlon said anxiously.
"-making funny faces, laughing, crying, lions, tigers, bears, drinking, thinking, poetry, post offices, recycling, smoking, eating, sleeping, dominoes, turkeys, pigs, goats, cows, horses, camels, llamas, ducks, cats, dogs, frogs, blue whales, orcas, sharks, cuttlefish, octopi, laser surgery, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Lady Gaga..."
"LISTEN! I just want to know where the guy went! WHERE DID HE GO!" Marlon yelled.
"Sedon had a farm. One day he went out on his farm to check on his animals. The pigs were oinking, the ducks were quacking, the sheep were bleating, the horses were neighing, the cows were mooing, the dogs were barking, the cats were meowing, the hens were clucking, the chicks were cheeping, the roosters were cock-a-doodling, the llamas were spitting, the coyotes were howling, the parrots said 'Polly want a cracker,' the Greeks were fighting, and everything was fine, except something was wrong..."
"ENOUGH!" Marlon roared, drawing his blade.
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut eu sollicitudin ipsum. Suspendisse ut mollis enim. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Aliquam congue adipiscing lobortis. Sed molestie hendrerit sodales. Sed rutrum tincidunt magna, vel laoreet sapien ullamcorper et. Nulla venenatis accumsan tincidunt. Aenean sit amet consequat lectus. Pellentesque et fermentum tortor. Vestibulum ultrices ornare vehicula. In luctus pellentesque imperdiet. Aliquam arcu nisi, feugiat in interdum sed, sollicitudin in magna--"
The speaker was interrupted by the sharp sensation of Marlon's blade puncturing his lungs. The unhelpful info-dumper's mouth continued to move, but he was blessedly quiet, as quiet as a dying man can be. Marlon wasted no more time, he dashed down an alley and ran, hoping to catch sight of his assailant.
