Just a dying memory

Mascara running
Away
From the eyes that bear all the ferocious, morbid thoughts.
Whispering bitter
Curses
To the woman (though young enough to be my sister) who’s so abruptly come into my life.

Why did you have to come?
With your stupid accent and crap vocabulary,
Showering me with lovely presents that you think will make me like you.
Never.
And the man who I once thought of as my Dad, is always busy.
So busy that he can’t even have a ten minute conversation with me anymore.

And you. The one who I call Dad,
You were the one who I shared my secrets with,
The one who I trusted, it was never Mum.
Never.
She just couldn’t understand me.

And now you’ve been taken away.
And I know In my
Heart
That I’ll never be going on another skiing trip with you.
Because that dreadful
Woman
Will always be there to remind me,
That you don’t give a shit about me.

---

We can never have the same kind of
Memories,
Because all the ones will have to be shared with someone
That I truly hate.

And as soon as I turn away,
I only turn back to see you together
And I remember...
I’m not the only girl in your life anymore
And I never will be number one.
Ever,
Because your girlfriend is just so much more important
Than the dying memory of the fun you had with your
Ex. MY MOTHER.

And as I see HER with you.
I have a sudden urge to just shout
I HATE you!
Because,
She had NO right to come into my life
And you had no right to let her.

You can take this poem as literally as it's written. And to anyone else who's suddenly had a strange new man or woman come storming into their life, I'm pretty sure you'll understand where I'm coming from. Critique wanted, but please note I did write this while having a sort of panic attack and haven't edited it yet...

Hi, there! I really like this poem: the beginning was captivating and by the end of the first stanza I knew what you were talking about. You have great descriptions, so I can see the image of a girls' face with running mascara perfectly in my mind.

But nitpicks:

Never.
And the man who I once thought of as my Dad, is always busy.

I think the way you went from talking to the new woman to your Dad was kind of abrupt, and more so because it was in the same stanza.

And you. The one who I call Dad

the way you started again with "And" was too much. You already brought up your father so you don't really need to bring him up like that again - just continue.

That I’ll never be going on another skiing trip with you.
Because that dreadful
Woman

There should be a comma after "Trip with you" not a period.

We can never have the same kind of
Memories.
Because

Again, comma instead of period after "Memories."

Ever
Because your girlfriend

Punctuation edit necessary here; comma or period to help finish off you last sentence too.

Than the dying memory of the fun you had with your
Ex.

I like this whole "Dying memory" thing, but you should add more emotion the the "Ex" part, because wasn't she the narrators' mother too? So she should have feelings toward her father pretending his wife, and her mother, never existed.

And as I see her with you.
I have a sudden urge to just shout

You don't need any punctuation marks here.

“Ew, look at those dirty bitches!”
Because,
She had no right to come into my life
And you had no right to let her.

I think what the narrator screamed and why were kind of unrelated, so maybe she'd like to scream something else?

Anyway, this is an extremely well written poem, the story that is, and I can completely relate.
Write on and PM me for anything, especially further explanation, because I don't think I explained some of those things so well. xD

Thanks CreativeFreak. I'll add in the punctuation/grammar that you suggested.

Great poem! I love the structure of your poem. It is different than a lot of other poems I read. Furthermore it tells a great story, with some emotion, which touches your heart. I've never had experienced a situation like this.
Maybe you could put a bit more emotion into the poem like this:

Crimsona wrote:Mascara running
Because YOUR girlfriend is just so much more important
Than the dying memory of the fun you had with your
Ex. MY MOTHER.

And as I see HER with you.
I have a sudden urge to just shout
I HATE you!
Because,
She had NO right to come into MY life
And you had no right to let her.

Or you can find another way to put more anger or emotion into it. It is only a suggestion, which will make the poem a bit better in my eyes. However it already was a great poem! Good job!

Thank you! I'll do that. Thanks again!