Basically I had the first two verses in another poem and I really liked them, but I feel the rest just let it down. Any advice?

I got sick of all your whispered nothings,
And seasonal sighs of reminiscence.
The fog and shadows in your closet
And sideward cast glances

Tired of all the clockwork bedtimes
Never differing, selfish wanders
Unable to just savour sweetness
Like you feared things left unfinished

I’ll keep all the sweet things you once said
Blood vows and shattered promises
Shivers from first touches
And kisses from when they meant something

They’ll lie with scraps of paper
Diary keys and friendship bracelets
Tears for lost friends, smiles from ones found
And the empty bottle of perfume

So though I won’t want the whole of you around
I’ll always have the pieces
Hidden in my heart shaped box

Change the title.

the poem had good parts, but was relatively boring. it was sort of like this to me:

good!
boring
boring
good!
boring
boring
boooooooringgggggg
GOOD!
boring
..good!

haha.
what i liked:

I got sick of all your whispered nothings,
And seasonal sighs of reminiscence.

Tired of all the clockwork bedtimes

They’ll lie with scraps of paper

And the empty bottle of perfume

what really bored me:

Never differing, selfish wander

Tears for lost friends, smiles from ones found

So though I won’t want the whole of you around

on reread, this was better. sorry for such harshness.

timjim77 - Why do I have to change the title? Do you have any suggestions for a replacement?

xanthan gum - Not too harsh. Thanks. Any suggestions on improving the boring bits?

I really love the imagery here. It's so vibrant. I think the last stanza can go though. You wouldn't lose much. The rest is beautiful, and very poignant. The title change is up to you, but because Heart Shaped Box has a totally different and more dominant cultural meaning than what is here, i believe it would be wise to change it.

Ok, new try. Still don't know what to change the title to, but I will.

I got sick of all your whispered nothings,
And seasonal sighs of reminiscence.
The fog and shadows in your closet
And sideward cast glances

Tired of all the clockwork bedtimes
Unthoughtful, selfish wanders
Unable to just savour sweetness
Like you feared things left unfinished

I’ll keep all the sweet things you once said
Blood vows and shattered promises
Shivers from first touches
And kisses from when they meant something

They’ll lie with scraps of paper
Diary keys and friendship bracelets
Lost dreams and ambitions
And the empty bottle of perfume

i liked the above a lot better. good good good.

Excellent. A few minor changes and it's a whole new poem.

Does this poem have anything to do with leaving childhood and becoming an adult?

It's very pretty. I like the second version better. It just... looks better. But I would change the title so that (nothing to dowith Nirvana) isn't there. Face it, it does look kind of hokey.

I would call it "Sigh." Because that's what seems to be. A sigh of reminiscence, of childhood and innocence, and the longing of it as the narrator gets older. The whole poem seems to be painfully nostalgic. It's really pretty though. The images are wonderful; I love the first and last stanza.

I guess it kinda does. It is about changing growing, but keeping the past tucked away somewhere.
Sigh, maybe, not too corny?