It Began with a Lump in the Throat

This is my first attempt at poetry. (Read: it's bad. But I want to get better at poetry, so I finally am brave enough to post.) It's free verse. Also, if you get the reference in my title, that would be...awesome. Thanks for reading, and hopefully reviewing.

When I read books of poetry,
I am inspired to write
Great, epic blasts of poetic
Ramblings of god and Starbucks.

I sit down at my computer,
Fingers poised above the keys,
Ready for clever lines that will
Fit perfectly in meter.

But I can never come up with
That same quirky brilliance.
Instead, I only write something
That I end up deleting.

I am right with you at the poetry thing. Not my thing, but try it anyway.
I'm sorry. I don't get the reference in your title.

[quote=Sporkpunk]Ramblings of god and Starbucks. [/quote]

Best. Line. Ever.
My adivice to you would be to keep writing and keep poeting.
good luck
~Kit

Great piece, especially for a first attempt at poetry...
it's something that you get used to it. When I first started.. it was not pretty.
But now I actually kind of like some of the things I write. And I did really love the line that the reviewer before me posted.

Great job.. you wrote something simple, concise, with a nice flow.. and something that everyone can relate to.


-Coral-

Cheers! Came across this while freelancing on the forums. A first try at poetry? I'd have to say it's a nice try. For a free verse the rhythm wasn't bad at all, just a few little rocks. You seem to know about poetry already, so I won't be saying a thing, I'll just try to point out one thing I was a bit uncertain.

I sit down at my computer,
Fingers poised above the keys,
Ready for clever lines that will
Fit perfectly in a meter.

The thing is shown in red. Now let me explain, with that A there the rhythm is more steady, making a nice flow ( Which I believe is an important essence of a poem - good flow enables reader to read it without slipping and imagine along the way )
and I think more sense... Saying just 'meter' doesn't look right to me, at least 'the' or 'a' >.>

Good luck =) Looking forward to see what you come up with next.
Kyou

Hello Sporky, here to review as reqested!

I’m glad that you’ve posted something in the poetry section that could have been hiding for quite a while.

I feel that your poem was quite original, your talking about writing a poem, I haven’t seen that before.

Great, epic blasts of poetic
Ramblings of god

These two lines gave this piece more of a poetic feel. Other than this, I don’t feel that any stand out.

Your message was quite clear in which I think you were saying that there is a writer who is struggling to write e poem, and isn’t sure about whatever he does write. (Or she!) Was the reference in your title that you couldn’t get any words out of your mouth to write on paper? A lot of poems I see are filled with adjectives, similes and metaphors. For this poem that isn’t the case at all. Although it’s free verse, you could have used lots of adjectives. One technique that I noticed you used a lot was enjambment. I really like this technique. Some writers say that you should capitalize after every full stop. Others say at every line, you don’t have to change it, it’s entirely up to you. I’d suggest you stick to the basics before experimenting with other grammar rules.

I think that the words that you have used in this poem aren’t very ‘wow’. Those are the words that create lovely imagery. To improve on this you could rephrase some things and don’t be so straight forward. It’s not a story, it’s a poem

Don’t tell yourself that you’re bad, because seven likes doesn't seem to agree with you.

*Tamara*

Thanks for requesting a review!

First off, the poem is okay, it could use some work, but it is okay...

So, this poem is original, and I'm glad you gave poetry a try, if you keep writing you'll get better, everyone starts off sucking...

When I read books of poetry,
I am inspired to write
Great, epic blasts of poetic
Ramblings of Gods and Starbucks.

I liked this stanza, but I think that the word " Starbucks" just ruins it, replace it with something like monsters, of something else, I can't really think of anything right now... But this is my favorite stanza, it reads well, other then the Starbucks part...

I sit down at my computer,
Fingers poised above the keys,
Ready for clever lines that will
Fit perfectly in meter.

Again, I like this stanza, but the last part of the last line killed it... I think that "will explode from the page" would work good here...

But I can never come up with
That same quirky brilliance.
Instead, I only write something
That I end up deleting.

This is okay, could use something to make it flow better though... maybe add another word to the last stanza...

Okay, to write really good poetry, it is good to let the words come to you, get relaxed and if you get words in your head write them down, write every thing down... If you sit there and make yourself write it will not come out good, let the words come to you...

Hope this helps,

~Rain~

You just said everything I haven't been able to in the past couple of weeks.
Lately, I've been in a writing/poetic mood, but whenever I sit down to write something..it just turns out silly.
It sounds very amateur-like and not poetic at all.
This is a great start to poetry, and honestly in my opinion, it sounds like you've been doing this for a long time!
Keep posting your poems.

One thing though, I wasn't sure how the title went with the poem, but sometimes it's up to the reader to figure that out. So maybe I haven't figured that out yet. But other than that it was realllly good. Good job!

Ramblings of god and Starbucks

^Genius.

Firstly I’d like to mention that i like the way you referenced god and starbucks in the same line, it’s quite brilliant. Am i right in thinking that connection between the title and the poem is something along the lines of an inability to create a literary piece that reflects on ‘the lump in your throat,’ as in an intense emotion that you can’t put down onto paper. Because i get that all the time and if it’s not, im sorry and i probably sound like an idiot.

And i like your poem, it’s easy to listen to. does this even make sense?

great poem. it simple but it is very good. i liked and i found it funny too. waiting for more work from you.