Simply having children does not make mothers. ~John A. Shedd
~~~
I couldn’t help the tender smile that crept on the tip of my lips. The smudge of ranch on the corner of Luke’s mouth was taunting me. Picking up a napkin and leaning over, I carefully wiped the side of his mouth. His eyes grew in surprise and for a second, he froze in his spot. Something flashed across his eyes and he flinched back as the thunder crackled over the clouds.
My hand pulled back voluntarily. “Is there something wrong, Luke?”
He stared at me and then turned away with eyes shifting back and forth.
Teeth bit my bottom lip. There was something bothering him. Whatever it was, it was probably my fault, as always. “Should we just go home now?” I asked. With a nod, he straightened himself out. Trembling fingers massaged the space between his eyes.
We had to rush through traffic and dodge the rain to get to the bus stop. Even the public bus was running late in the nasty weather. Once we made it home, Mom was in her pajamas with a bowl of popcorn in her arms. The couch seemed to absorb her inside, telling me she had been there for a while. Her hair was tied in a bun over her head like a teenage girl. She looked rather young right there.
“Kids, where have you been? I was worried!” She called, turning to face us. “It’s raining like crazy outside and…look at you,” she pointed to us. “You’re all wet!”
“We were caught in the rain for a minute or two,” I shrugged, kicking off my sandals.
Her eyes took note of our empty hands and she raised a brow. “You didn’t even buy anything.”
I remembered the nice pair of red boots and frowned. “I guess not.”
Luke made his way up the stairs. After a minute, my Mother and I flinched as we heard the upstairs door shut.
“What happened?” She asked.
I cuddled down next to her, inhaling her soapy scent and greedily feeing on her warmth. “I’m not sure.” The TV flickered, showing a car chase scene with people shooting bullets at one another. It was an old movie, probably from the eighties.
“You smell like rain water.”
That was my Mother, she knew how to lighten a situation like a candle lighting a mansion’s living room.
“I think I might have done something to make him upset,” I whispered.
“I doubt it.” She munched on some popcorn.
“But how would you know?”
“Liliah, you’re trying to do your best, I doubt he has any problems with you. You can’t always blame yourself. I hate to say this, but unfortunately my dear, the world does not revolve around you.”
My jaw dropped. “I never once thought that the world revolved around me, Mom. But it seems that Luke gives me more of a cold shoulder than he gives anyone else. However, today, he actually spoke to me.”
A grin extended over her cheeks as excitement filled her eyes. “Did he now? What did you two talk about? See, I told you it would work out. So you possibly can’t think that it’s your fault.”
“We talked about…Dad,” I answered softly.
A sudden frown seized her happy grin. “Ah.” Looking away, she put a piece of popcorn to her lip. “Anyway, if Luke did anything to make upset himself, it probably has nothing to do with you.” Her attempt at changing the subject only made me hurt all the more. Since Dad’s death, we barely spoke of his name.
“I’ll try to talk to him.”
“Take a shower now, or you’ll catch a cold.”
I purposely let her have one last whiff of my smelly clothes before leaving. My feet start up the stairs, only to trip over themselves on the last step. Landing with a bang, I blurted, “Ow!” My fingers instantly rubbed my nose, which was causing a burning sensation down my throat.
“Liliah!” Mom yelled from below.
“I’m okay!” I pushed myself up off the floor and brushed my knees.
After gathering my clothes and a towel, I headed towards the bathroom. Luke came out the same time my hands turned the knob. Bare chested, with droplets of water clinging to his hair, he looked at me, raising a brow.
My eyes couldn’t help but stare at his board naked chest. Silky black shorts banded around his waist and a towel was hung over his shoulder.
A burning sensation bloomed on my cheeks. I moved to the right. He mimicked my step. My feet instantly tried the left and he did the same. After going back to the right, he shoved his way, knocking my arm as he went to his room and locked the door. For goodness sakes, what was up with him? He was acting like a pregnant woman with these mood swings and I was getting tired of it all. I didn’t want to think of Luke in a bad manner but I was running out of reasons to explain his behavior.
~~~
When the rain had stopped pouring, it was already ten o’clock. I stared at my math homework, wondering why people created such boring, hard, unexplainable ways to find answers to questions almost no one in the world would use on a regular daily basis. Confused and worried about finishing, I pulled my booklet together and got off my bed.
My knuckles tapped Luke’s door, hoping he would open it.
He didn’t.
“Luke,” I called. “I just have one question to ask you about my homework. Can you help me?”
No answer.
“Please?” My tone rose in the sweetest, most sisterly voice I could muster.
The door creaked open and a wide smile crawled up on my cheeks. He eyed me and I lifted my book so he could see the problem. “Do you get it?” My finger pointed to the odd symbols.
His eyes wandered the paper in concentration and then he widened his door, allowing me in. Luke sat back down on his computer chair. A science book was open on his table with a laptop lighted and Microsoft Word open with a few sentences typed.
He took my notebook out of my hands and picked up a pencil. I stood next to his desk as he erased my answer and began working it all over. I watched his back curve over the desk, his hair flip over luscious dark eyes and his hands as they efficiently darted down the numbers. My heart suddenly began to pound. Being near Luke made me warm and fuzzy on the inside.
My eyebrow lifted. So that’s how you do it…
He circled two other problems. “These are wrong,” he said in a low voice as he handed my notebook back. “Fix them.”
I gulped, wanting to hear his voice again. Even if it was hushed, even if he barely spoke, I found the words to strike me like lightening.
Clutching the notebook to my chest, I nodded. “Thanks…”
Luke flipped a page in his science book, then pointed to the door.
Suddenly, all the warm feelings for him disappeared and I spun around, stalking out of his room. I contemplated slamming his door but knew he’d only be more upset if I did. He’s a jerk sometimes, I told myself, but he helps me when I need it. At least, I think so…
Once I finished the rest of my homework, I went downstairs to get a glass of water. It was already midnight and I was sure everyone was sleeping. But to my surprise, the kitchen light was still on. My eyes scanned the area and I spotted Luke at the counter. He had a box of vanilla ice cream open and a silver spoon in his mouth. He was staring out the kitchen window, into our dark backyard with a lost face.
My footsteps squeaked involuntarily. I caught him lift a brow and turn his eyes in my direction, halting me in my tip-toeing stance.
With a full grin, I whispered, “Hi.”
Luke turned back around, taking another bite of the ice cream. I drifted to the counter, next to him. That wasn’t the first time I’d caught him eating ice cream in the middle of the night. There had been two other incidents of this. Maybe he just liked late night snacks or maybe this was just adding more evidence to my pregnant women comparison. Fingers pinched my thigh as I punished myself for thinking such ill mannered thoughts about Luke.
We had been getting along just fine, more than fine. Luke had actually spoken to me and was slowly acknowledging my presence. So, why did he suddenly drift back to his cold state? Something had happened at the diner and I kept wondering what spooked him.
A spoon full of vanilla cream lifted to Luke’s lips.
“Luke…What happened at the diner today? Did you remember something bad? Did I do something?” The next part came out of my lips before I had the chance to pull them back. “Did you think of the orphanage?”
Dark eyes flashed my way. Slowly, the spoon made it back to the box.
“Your parents?” I whispered, staring at the sink.
With a hard jaw, his nails dug into the counter, making me regret what I had said. My foot took a step back, fearing the angry scowl that played on his lips.
“I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
But my apology was futile. Luke leaned in towards me, locking his arms on either side of me. “What do you know?” he asked with mocking intrigue.
Hearing his once powerful and warm voice turn into malicious poison made me flinch.
“Huh?” he cocked his head slightly. “You think you know everything, don’t you? Don’t start thinking you know me just because I spit a few words at you.”
Fear traveled up my bones, tightening a knot in my stomach. I shook my head, feeling an unwanted coat of gloss fill the corner of my eyes. Unclear of what he wanted, what I was supposed to say or even do. Teeth bit my tongue as punishment for my slippery mind. Letting such comments out in the open, what in the world was I thinking?
“If you want to do me favor, then let me be. Go away,” he hissed.
I had ticked him off. No, pushed him over the edge of a canyon, hitting a spot that was off limits. Somehow, finding courage in the mist of my embarrassment and surprise, my hands found the strength to push Luke back.
“Fine, I won’t bother you.” The choked words miraculously made it out of my mouth. Side stepping away from him, I traveled the mile out of the kitchen, keeping my concentration on the ground.
The carpet burned my toes as I ascended the stairs, tripping again as I made the top. Coward, naïve, stupid, idiot, ignorant. I was all of these things and more. Sloppily standing back up and hauling myself onto my bed, I stuffed my head into my pillows.
I fought my tears with a clenched jaw, but with no avail. They slid out of my eyes like raindrops and I hated myself for it. Knowing better, I had still decided to step into his circle of flames, only to receive a taste of his wrath. I had no one to blame but myself. Luke was an orphan, the pain and hurt he probably had to endure while at the orphanage…I could never understand. Being abandoned by the one whom you’d call Mother or Father, how would it feel? To never see the face that gave birth to you? I was blessed with a loving family but Luke…he had no such thing, never experienced what most of us took for granted.
By this time, half of my tears were already for Luke.
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). So maybe try something like "I snuggled close to her side and closed my eyes, wondering"
Poor Luke. T.T He never had a real family! *clicks on chapter six with wide eyes*