dark carneva

my life is dark.
its twisted.
its wrong.

born in a world in time where i don't belong.
its all falling apart.
i feel dead, but i still move.

when will this pain end?
will it ever?
the numbing pain is addicting

i cant stop
i cant escape
the only way out is my thoughts

this hate for life is my only friend
i can only imagine the darkest places
where i want to go

take me there
take me now
before i slip

and the triggers pulled.
please, before my life
becomes meaningless again

but it always has
meant nothing much
to anyone

I've never felt,
i only thought,
what am i?

will i ever discover the truth
that i need
to know?

my life is weird,
it small,
and unknown,

why would you care?
why would you
even wonder who

the hell i am?
or what
i do?

i mean
nothing
to you

but i mean
it
deep down

it seems
that I'm
heartless

but in truth
are you too
do you really care?

i move fast,
trying to
escape this world

I'm in,
i think of
better places and

situations,
i think
I'm right

and i think I'm
strong,
but do i really belong?

in this world that i hate,
that i
find laughter in,

will you be there to
catch me when
i fall

backwards?
or were your words
just empty promises

used for your benefit,
not mine?
the worst part

i actually cared
for once in
my life

i trusted someone
and look
where i am now

in the hole
in the pit
drowned in my own

pool of tears,
no one cares
no one feels
all is lost, nothings real

do i even
exist?
do i even want to?

can you answer
these questions for me?
will you?

repair my broken heart,
and redo my dreams.
save my life and make me see.

im lost without you,
in this world
of lies and insecurities

even if im wrong
will you believe
im right?


even when i won
will you
continue the fight?

few see who
the real
me is.

no one
has yet
i need him to come

along,
to make
it right

will you love me
even when
iv'e gone?

make the one real
promise and
stay by me for eternity?

i need to find you
through this field
of skulls,

and lost dreams,
through the dark mist
and up the stairs

to your
saving
hands and love.

will you
be there when i need
you?

or will you skip
and leave me
to make revenge?

i might have won all the battles,
but my war has only
begun

save me when
i
die

hold me when i cry,
be there when im lonely,
kiss me for your life,

i must
get through
this.

the maybe
promise
of you

in my future
is enough
to drive me on,

to make me strong
from what doesnt kill me,
and make me know

and believe in myself,
discover who i
really am

ill put the gun
down
and look

ahead for you,
and try to catch the rainbow,
and us toghether

i hope
i find
you,

i really
do. wait for
me

please
my last tear
my last scream

my last laugh
my last kiss
and my last breath

would be used
for you,
wait,

please wait for me,
ill find you
through

the pain.
ill find you
and when i do

ill know that
ive made it.
ill know the world is mine.

i need you,
and you need me
for all eternity.

i must find you,
my soulmate,
my love,

my one and only,
the one who completes
me.

the one who
makes me feel whole,
you will find me.

my other.
the same.
i need to find me, and i will, in you.

if this is not love, i dont know what is. take me there, take me away.
from my wronged life, from the twisted world
where i dont and wont belong
until i find you. make me see what is real and what is me.
show me the world until the end.
show me the better world we could all live in.
be with me in my own twisted fantasy
with vampires and fallen angels
tears and ice eyes. redeem my feelings
so i know theyre real
make me feel like im here
and ill do all the things i ask, ill do in return for you
hate me, love me, miss me.
this is this
i am who am
will i change
for
better
or
for
the
worst.
you
decide
for me
like
only
you
can.
bye.
i left
this note
for you in
the sand
follow my foot steps along
this beach, stranger.
you will if your the one,
our lives have only begun.
follow my foot steps along the sand
and find out who
i am, if you dare,
if you care. if you dont, walk away and let
the waves erase my words. come back if you want
but it wont be the same. this is life. so come, follow me and let the waves
caress your feet, come, along with me.



" there is a reason why people from your past arent in your present.":)



\\

Well hello there! I'll be your reviewer for today!

Okay, so I thought this was good, but not great. You should make the punctuation and capitilizing better and really read through it for mistakes. You put this: im feel dead but i still move You could put either: I feel dead, but I still move. Or: I'm feeling dead, but still I'm moving. Either way, I think you just need to work on it with the punctuation and grammatical things. Best of luck!

~Fireflights

Okay, so the reviewer above me basically said what I was thinking.
This was good, but it can be improved. If you didn't want any punctuation, at least add some commas. This will really make it easier to read. You don't have to capitalize, either, but at least change "i" to "I" and "ill" to "I'll" and things like that. Also, spell check is good to catch typos.
This is a good poem because I could really feel the emotion you were trying to get across. Toward the end, it was more like a song and the lines suddenly took on a new pattern.
Again, like the reviewer above me said, you just need to work on grammar.
Practice makes perfect!