Process of Clarity

Put me in a box
Burn my memories.
Because these memories
Somehow are controlling me.
What I wanted to say
Built up inside
So my conversation may never end.
I cried in that box for hours,
And I know I can cry more.
And I did.

A scream builds up
From within,
An urge to trash everything
Rages on.
I file my nails,
I scratch and dig
Into my thighs.

Put me in a box
Let me say my last goodbyes
To these cherished memories.
Pluck no holes in this tiny box,
For I can't live without them.
I don't want the urge to stop you from burning them
Because they only haunt me.
Let me suffocate.

Make this one spark of fire flame up these
Haunting memories.
They deserve this torture.
Make that hysterical laugh so I don't hear the screams.
Watch my past burn and pop
Watch the fire expand and grow as my memories turn into ash and perish.
Now you may cut a hole into the box as a window
For me to see,I need to.

You see I can't handle such a loss!
Throw me in to this pit of shame,
I shame myself!
Hear my screams of fear, pain, and most importantly,
Hear my last words that may haunt you, "Thank you Hades."
Clarity.

Hey I'll be your reviewer for today!

One word: Wow. That was really amazing! I loved the emotion and the feeling you put into it. I could feel the character's agony and pain and how he/she wanted to get rid of the memories. You described it well also and I really liked this stanza:

Make this one spark of fire flame up these
Haunting memories.
They deserve this torture.
Make that hysterical laugh so I don't hear the screams.
Watch my past burn and pop
Watch the fire expand and grow as my memories turn into ash and perish.
Now you may cut a hole into the box as a window
For me to see,I need to.

I loved how you talk about how much he/she wants to let go of the memories, but they just can't. I completely understand the feeling, and this really hit home for me. I loved it!

~Fireflight

Hello. Me again. :P

The first thing I noticed was the punctuation. Or, more accurately, the lack of it being properly used. While poetry is a bit more flexible with punctuation than prose, it is still important. Right now, the improperly used punctuation really distracted me in the first couple lines, especially because it was inconsistent. Punctuation affects the meaning and flow of your poetry. Until you have mastered all the aspects of grammar and know how to manipulate them well, I suggest that you punctuate your poetry properly. It will make your poetry more readable and keep you from looking like an amateur.

That said, this poem struck me as a bit incoherent. This is partially due to the punctuation, but also because you jump around ideas without any clear transitions. It also doesn't help that you sometimes switch tenses, like in the first stanza.

I cried in that box for hours,
And I know I can cry more.
And I did.

You switch from past (cried) to present (know) to past again (did). It is confusing and left me wondering when all this is happening? Is this something that happened in the narrator's past? Is it something she is experiencing right now? Because of the switched tenses, it's hard to tell.

As for the idea hopping, let's take a look at the main ideas in each stanza.

Stanza 1: narrator wants to be put into a box; memories are controlling her; something about a conversation; crying

How do each of these ideas connect to one another? You need to show this connection more clearly, and in a manner that is logical (this is the result of this, which is the result of that).

Stanza 2: rage is expressed by screaming and digging filed nails into thighs

The ideas in this stanza actually work well with each other. You also transitioned from the crying to the rage. However, there is no transition to the ideas in the third stanza.

Stanza 3: again with the box; she wants to bury the memories, yet burn them; she desires suffocation

You tie back to the first stanza, which is good. However, how does the box and suffocation relate to destroying/hiding the memories? Also, why the sudden switch from wanting to bury them to burning?

Stanza 4: setting memories on fire; hysterical laughter to drown out screaming; watching memories and fire burn; cutting open a window

Where is the screaming coming from? When did she get in the box? Also, "fire flame" is very awkward since "flame" generally isn't used as a verb. "Burn" or "light" are less awkward and more obvious.

Stanza 5: breakdown and shame; possibly haunting last words; clarity

The "I shame myself" is redundant. I suggest rephrasing to "Throw me into this pit of shame / I dug myself". If she is screaming, how can she speak coherently? Why is there suddenly a mythological reference? How did all this lead to clarity?

The last point in particular needs answering. Right now, this poem is more muddling and confusing than clarifying. One also generally needs to be alive to achieve a sense of clarity. I think that organizing and transitioning between the ideas better will get rid of the muddle and help create that sense of clarity.

The biggest issue with this poem is the organization of the ideas. Fix up the organization, make the flow of ideas easy to follow, use correct punctuation, and this poem will be much more coherent and pleasant to read.

Wow. This was beautiful and disturbing at the same time, rather like Edgar Allan Poe. *wink* Also, it was evocative, so I can't really critique you much.