I don't know if this is a good start for a book or not. I just wrote it, its only half a chapter. Hard core reviews are good.
Chapter One
I ducked behind a thin tree as the short boy sailed past, not even glancing at me. My face was covered in sweat, my heart pumping fast. I tried to breath normal as I peeked out from the tree. Beyond the tree line sat my village, bathed in the golden afternoon light. To my left I caught sight of movement. I swiveled my head to inspect, but before I could see anything, someone fell on top of me. Our limbs became intertwined as we fell to the leaf colored ground in a heap.
“Get off!” I whispered angrily, pushing them off my back.
Turning, I saw long red hair and I sighed. It was Nella, my little seven year old sister. Her young, innocent blue eyes seemed to laugh at me. She stood and helped me up.
“Come on, Sis, Gil's gonna find us if we don't hide!” she yelped.
“I don't even like playing tag, Nella,” I said, my voice tired.
“I don't care. Momma told you to play, so you have to!” she pouted as she pulled my wrist towards the village. I tried to resist her, but then I gave in.
Let her be seven. Let her play tag with her big Sis. I allowed Nella to pull me through the trees and into the village. Once there, she trampled down the road with me in tow, and headed straight for the scarlet fountain. We came in sight of the marketplace. It was filled with people, the perfect place to hide from Gil and the other kids. I could smell caramel corn and apples. The sound of fiddles danced upon my ears. The sky above was blue, with a few wispy clouds traveling across the sun. The marketplace was crowded, people of all sizes and shapes bumping into one another. The exotic and erratic merchants from all corners of the world were trying to sell their goods, calling out to people as they passed. Practically, the whole village was there.
The perfect place to pick pockets. No more tag for me!
As Nella led us into the jumble of figures, I quietly slipped away without her noticing. I had a thin body, and I was only five foot seven. Not very tall compared to the people of the crowds. I slunk through the bodies, until I found one with an open pocket. I reached my slender hand in, and removed a small knife, several copper coins, and a small stone. I stuck the treasures into my boot and kept searching, grabbing every purse and wallet and valuable thing I could. I was never caught, and I never will be.
After some time, I escaped the market and slipped into an alleyway. I sighed, glad from my days work. I know picking pockets is wrong, but my family cannot live with what money we earn. My mother, Hilary, stays at home with my baby brother, Hui. My father, Kilo builds wooden furniture and he gets almost no money for his work.
And my older brother? Well, he hunts, but doesn't get paid.
My parents and brother allow me to pick pockets, even though it is wrong and dangerous. In our village, thieves are put to death, no matter how low or high the crime.
I ran down the dark alleyway until a second street met it. Then, I made my way home through the maze of short streets.
As I finally came into view of the house, I realized how much it needed a makeover. It was a small building made of wood, with two tiny windows and a deerskin for the door flap. Three long stairs lifted the house away from the dirt road I stood on, for in the spring, when the rains come and flood the village. Walking up the stairs, I lifted the flap and entered the two room home. The main room was furnished with a wooden table and six stools, alongside a makeshift sink and cabinet to hold the dishes. To my left was the fire pit, with the teakettle over it, on the thin slab of rock over the flames. On the wall behind the table stood a tall door and a long shelf filled with books and trinkets. My mother sat at the table, baby Hui strapped to her stomach. Her long red hair was up in a messy bun. She smiled as I entered, though at work cutting up a carrot. Her eyes were weary. She needs sleep.
“Hello mother. Go and rest,” I said, taking the baby from her. She smiled again, not saying a word, but turning towards the door in the back of the room. It's the sleeping room, and home to five, scratchy cots and a crib.
I strapped baby Hui to my stomach, using mothers baby hammock thingy. I don't know what she calls it, but I call it the baby hammock thingy.
He was fast asleep I realized as I finished cutting mothers carrot. I threw them into the large cooking pot over the fire and returned to the table. I spread out my treasures before me. Two small knifes, a blue rock, silver buttons, and thirty seven copper pieces sat on the wood.
“We can probably sell the knifes and buttons, but not the rock,” I decided out loud. Then, I felt the rock. It was smooth, perfectly round. Wow, its pretty.
I accidentally dropped the stone as my brother came through the door. I jumped, surprised.
“Hi, Casimir. Any good kills?” I asked, regaining my posture and retrieving the stone, slipping it into my pocket.
“Nope, I see you went picking today.”
“You know that if you let me hunt, I could get you some game.”
“No, Aralyn. Mother and Father don't allow it. I'm sorry,” he apologized. His clothes were dirty, his dark hair messed up.
“Whatever. Go out to the river and clean yourself please, dinner shall be ready in twenty minutes,” I ordered, taking on Mothers role. Casimir reluctantly gathered his soap and left for the river. I took a wooden spoon and mixed the stew. Baby Hui woke and began a high pitched wail that hurt my ears. I sat by the fire and stroked his chubby face, his eyes shut. As his howls worsened, I began to sing quietly, a song that all of the kids in the village have to learn. Its named The Course Of Destiny. The song is about an ancient ancestor of the gods that foresees the future and tells all about two souls that will have to undertake a task so great, that neither shall ever know the result.
Its said to be true, but I don't believe it.
As soon as the baby heard my voice he quieted, and I sat in that spot until Casimir returned from bathing, father returned from his workshop, and Nella returned from tag. Mother as well, woke at that point. We all sat around the table, munching at our stew. I still held baby Hui, but Mother fed him sips from her stew. Father cleared his throat and I looked up at him.
“Aralyn, your eighteenth birthday is only days away. Do you know what you would like?” he asked me.
I swallowed the stew I was chewing and nodded.
“I want three things. One, I want to be able to hunt-”
“Honey, you know that we cannot allow that. It is too dangerous,” said mother, her voice scratchy.
“I am dangerous,” I shot back.
“What do you mean by that?” Father questioned.
“I know how to fight, I can kill with my bare hands. I am a thief and I can render someone unconscious. And you think I cannot handle shooting an arrow?” I whispered.
“No,” Father implied stubbornly.
I moved on.
“Two, I wish for a new bow and quiver and arrows. A real set, carved by the elves, preferably,” I sighed, imagining the elves perfectly carved weapons. Yes, that's what I want.
“The elves, Aralyn?” Casimir asked.
“Yep. And third, I want a house,” I finished.
Nella laughed. “A house? Really?”
I watched her, knowing what she was going to say next, and she was probably right.
“Never gonna happen!” she screeched in laughter.
“You never know,” Father said, as Mother began to wash the dishes.
“No, I know,” She still laughed, “It ain't gonna happen!”
I sighed, tired, and passed the baby to mother. Then, I turned in early, still hearing Nella laughing in the kitchen. I lay on my cot, and closed my eyes.
