finish me off

Jut take it
You’ve taken my friends,
My feeling of warmth,
My feeling of security,
Like a raged serial killer,
You’ve taken my soul;
My life,
My happiness,
And for what gain?
Your sheer pleasure
In watching me burn,
Suffacate,
Drown in your lies,
A friend once,
Then you stabbed me in the back
A light hearted,
Happy girl,
Not a care in the world,
Now a hollow shell,
Of a tortured soul,
Gone,
Never returning,
You’ve taken me,
So finish it off.

I like it, its very direct, the only thing that confuses me its what you really feel about the situation you put facts but not your input which makes it less deep, but is pretty

This poem is pretty good. The words are sharp and accusing, and that forms good emotion.

Just take it.
You’ve taken my friends,
My feeling of warmth,
My feeling of security.
Like a raged serial killer,
You’ve taken my soul;
My life,
My happiness,
And for what gain?

Your sheer pleasure
In watching me burn,
Suffocate,
Drown in your lies.
A friend once,
Then you stabbed me in the back.
A light hearted,
Happy girl,
Not a care in the world,
Now a hollow shell
Of a tortured soul.
Gone,
Never returning.
You’ve taken me,
So finish it off.

Overall, I liked this poem.
Good job and keep writing!

Like somebody already pointed out, really direct which adds a lot of power to what you're writing, but can also cause you to lose depth in other areas. This wasn't a bad poem, some grammar and spelling issues, but overall it was pretty good. I liked it, but I think you could expand on it.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

I don't have much to say . . .

I guess I can't say it was phenomenal, because your speaking the truth, but I will say that poem the great! It was very direct and it let a lot of people relate. I would like to read more!

I like this, its straightforward and easy to read. I also think that you should add more of what you feel to this... Like how it felt to burn, how it felt to drown in their lies. Did you feel betrayed? Put it in. Did you feel sad, hurt, angry? Put it in there.

Along with puncuation, you could consider breaking this up into stanza's... Just a thought...

Hope this helps,

~Rain~

i liked it. i have dark times too, well actually, im always like that..... it expressed how you felt very well. now, i dont know if your supposed to adress your audience or not, but maybe you could have identified who had made you feel like that. like at the end(maybe...?) otherwise, loved it. i can relate.