Letters to Cody (Part One)

Day One,
I had gone to camp for the past three years, so the first day I saw you that year, I didn't think anything of it. You were pastors boy, surrounded by girls. I thought your were the preppy, pretty boy, heart throb of camp. Yeah, I thought you were cute, but everyone did.


Day Two,
Like I already said, I had been to this camp for three years worth of summers, I had known you for three years worth of summers, I hadn't realized that this day was actually the day I had really met you. I was on the zip line, scared as hell I might add. You were supposed to catch my rope when I got to the end, you didn't. But as I started to swing back you reached out, grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back in.
"Hi," you said, running your hand through your hair.
"Hey," I replied as you helped me down. We stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before I started to walk away.
As I walked away you shouted out, "I'm Cody!" I looked back at you.
"I'm Meggie." I started to walk away, but turned around one last time. "Thanks, you know, for grabbing me." Then I left, but kept your name rolling around in my mind. "Cody, there was something I liked about that name."


Day Three,
It was the first day we had a conversation. I was walking back to my table during lunch, but you stopped me halfway there. You were about to say something, but looked down at my tray of food.
"You must really like peaches." you said.
"What?" I looked down at my tray. "Oh, yeah... Well, that's all my mom ever fed me when I was a baby, so I guess I have a thing for them." You shook whatever had come over you off and looked back up at me. You asked me if I liked baby rabbits and I nodded.
"Well I'll make sure I show you some sometime."
I returned to my seat smiling.


Day Four,
That was the day you taught me baseball. I laugh right now, as I think about that day. Your dad was pitcher, your uncle was catcher, and the other counselors made the outfield.
"Now how did you manage to get this set up?" I asked gasping.
"I'm pastor's kid, remember?"
Every time I swung the bat, I missed, I was known for that back home. You finally came over and showed me how to bat correctly. Then you stood back to watch what you said would be my first hit ever. I sure hit something, that's for sure. Unfortunately for you it wasn't the ball, just your head. But it only resulted in a bad headache for the both of us. Yours was obvious, mine was because I was so embarrassed. I vowed never to play baseball again.


Day Five,
When you told me you wanted to go canoeing, I had thought you knew how. But I was sadly mistaken and somehow or another we ended up stranded in the middle of the lake. And the bell for afternoon chapel had just rung. It wasn't until about ten o'clock that night that we were finally rescued. But while I was with you, I thought I already had been.


Day Six,
The first day you kissed me, I remember it as if it were yesterday. You brought me to see the baby rabbits, but we never got to where you wanted to go. It started raining, so you insisted we get back to the dining area. When we got there, you immediately wrapped me up in a blanket and brought me over to a bench. I'm not sure how it started, but you started to spill out your childhood. I memorized it all, it was interesting, to have someone actually tell you everything about them. He had a nice time growing up, but had always longed for some excitement in it. Once he was finished he looked down at me, as if waiting for me to spill my guts.
"Nah, you don't want to hear about me." I said quietly. It wasn't a good time for me. My father had gotten arrested when I was three, never saw him again. My grandfather and grandmother had died in a fire at their house and my mom was always nagging me. I didn't want to sound like I was complaining, but for some reason, I just felt safe with you. I spilled everything, and I mean everything. When i was done I looked back up at you.
"And that's all."
You looked into my eyes and then just... kissed me. It felt like an electric shock had just coursed through my body, I'd never felt that way before. We pulled apart, but then I went back in for more just as your older brother walked in.
"Whoa youngsters, save it for the movies." he chuckled before walking around to find a muffin. I started to get up, but you stopped me.
"I'll see you out tomorrow." you told me. I remember you kissing my cheek before letting me walk away.


Day Seven,
Our first challenge, the last day of camp. We ate breakfast, packed up, and left. This year wasn't much different than the others, except for you found me before I left. I was standing at the back of my Lexus, trying to stuff my over sized bag into the trunk. I felt somebody put their arms around my waist and I turned around.
"I thought you said you were poor." you said, referring to my car.
"It's a hand-me-down from my friend. I know, I know, it's a car, not usually something a friend would give, but her family's rich, so, yeah." I replied awkwardly. you kissed my cheek and slipped me a piece of paper.
"What's this?" I asked you before unfolding it to find your phone number.
"I don't have a Facebook or MySpace, and I never really liked that texting stuff, so we can call each other." I kissed you on the cheek and slipped my phone number in your hand.
"How about you call me, okay?" You nodded and I jumped in. "I'll talk to you later!"
"yeah, later." he cried out as I drove away. I had to, before he saw my tears.



Hope you liked it, tell me if you want to read more and I'll PM you when/if I write anymore!

And please, please, please review. it means more too me than you could possibly imagine!

iheartbooks wrote:Day One,
I had gone to camp for the past three years, so the first day I saw you that year, I didn't think anything of it. You were a pastor's boy, surrounded by girls. I thought your were the preppy, pretty boy, heart throb of camp. Yeah, I thought you were cute, but everyone did.

I liked the beginning of the story. It made me interested and made me want to keep reading. I t gave a description of both the characters in your story, and gave the setting of the rest of the story in a non-obvious way.

Day Two,
Like I already said, I had been to this camp for three years worth of summers, I had known you for three years worth of summers, I hadn't realized that this day was actually the day I had really met you. I was on the zip line, scared as hell I might add. You were supposed to catch my rope when I got to the end, you didn't. But as I started to swing back you reached out, grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back in.
"Hi," you said, running your hand through your hair.
"Hey," I replied as you helped me down. We stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before I started to walk away.
As I walked away you shouted out, "I'm Cody!" I looked back at you.
"I'm Meggie." I started to walk away, but turned around one last time. "Thanks, you know, for grabbing me." Then I left, but kept your name rolling around in my mind. "Cody, there was something I liked about that name."

I liked this because it was funny. I actually laughed when I read it because it was written believably, and pushed the story in the right direction.

"What?" I looked down at my tray. "Oh, yeah... Well, that's all my mom ever fed me when I was a baby, so I guess I have a thing for them." You shook whatever had come over you off and looked back up at me. You asked me if I liked baby rabbits and I nodded.

For some reason I had to read this part oer again. Maybe you could clear it up because it didn't read vary well. Maybe separate the two topics of food and baby rabbits, and maybe not start two sentences right after each other with the same word. But that's just one of my pet peeves.

Day Six,
The first day you kissed me, I remember it as if it were yesterday. You brought me to see the baby rabbits, but we never got to where you wanted to go. It started raining, so you insisted we get back to the dining area. When we got there, you immediately wrapped me up in a blanket and brought me over to a bench. I'm not sure how it started, but you started to spill out your childhood. I memorized it all, it was interesting, to have someone actually tell you everything about them. He had a nice time growing up, but had always longed for some excitement in it. Once he was finished he looked down at me, as if waiting for me to spill my guts.
"Nah, you don't want to hear about me." I said quietly. It wasn't a good time for me. My father had gotten arrested when I was three, never saw him again. My grandfather and grandmother had died in a fire at their house and my mom was always nagging me.

I didn't want to sound like I was complaining, but for some reason, I just felt safe with you. I spilled everything, and I mean everything. When I was done I looked back up at you.

"And that's all."
You looked into my eyes and then just... kissed me. It felt like an electric shock had just coursed through my body, I'd never felt that way before. We pulled apart, but then I went back in for more just as your older brother walked in.
"Whoa youngsters, save it for the movies." he chuckled before walking around to find a muffin. I started to get up, but you stopped me.
"I'll see you out tomorrow." you told me. I remember you kissing my cheek before letting me walk away.

Very, Very sweet. One of my favorite parts.

"Yeah, later." he cried out as I drove away. I had to, before he saw my tears.

It was a very melancholy way to end it, but it still was a good finish.

This was a good read and I hope you continue with it. You write first person really well, and the only thing I disliked, and only a little, was that SHE never said Cody's name while thinking, but I get why you did it, and it did add to her character and how she thought about him. Please continue in your writing I'll be watching for your great style.

Hi iheartbooks, I'm Anger, your not-so-angry reviewer.

Day One,
I had gone to camp for the past three years, so the first day I saw you that year, I didn't think anything of it. You were pastors boy, surrounded by girls. I thought your were the preppy, pretty boy, heart throb of camp. Yeah, I thought you were cute, but everyone did.

Alright first of all, this says letters to Cody and this doesn't seem long enough to be a post-it note. I believe you could have developed more on their meeting. Maybe talk about how she (Your MC) felt when she met Cody, she says she thought he was cute but she doesn't even talk about why she thought he was cute.

Day Two,
Like I already said, I had been to this camp for three years worth of summers, I had known you for three years worth of summers, I hadn't realized that this day was actually the day I had really met you. I was on the zip line, scared as hell I might add. You were supposed to catch my rope when I got to the end, you didn't. But as I started to swing back you reached out, grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back in.
"Hi," you said, running your hand through your hair.
"Hey," I replied as you helped me down. We stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before I started to walk away.
As I walked away you shouted out, "I'm Cody!" I looked back at you.
"I'm Meggie." I started to walk away, but turned around one last time. "Thanks, you know, for grabbing me." Then I left, but kept your name rolling around in my mind. "Cody, there was something I liked about that name."

Day two doesn't seem to get any better. It's cute but there is no development in your characters. At least the letter was longer this time Again there is virtually no use of description. You tell a lot, and there isn't a lot of showing in your work.

Day Three,
It was the first day we had a conversation. I was walking back to my table during lunch, but you stopped me halfway there. You were about to say something, but looked down at my tray of food.
"You must really like peaches." you said.
"What?" I looked down at my tray. "Oh, yeah... Well, that's all my mom ever fed me when I was a baby, so I guess I have a thing for them." You shook whatever had come over you off and looked back up at me. You asked me if I liked baby rabbits and I nodded.
"Well I'll make sure I show you some sometime."
I returned to my seat smiling.

I don't think you use "" in letters, maybe for example you could say You asked me if I liked peaches that day, I was a bit startled and I didn't know what you were talking about. After a while I got it....etc

Day Four,
That was the day you taught me baseball. I laugh right now, as I think about that day. Your dad was pitcher, your uncle was catcher, and the other counselors made the outfield.
"Now how did you manage to get this set up?" I asked gasping.
"I'm pastor's kid, remember?"
Every time I swung the bat, I missed, I was known for that back home. You finally came over and showed me how to bat correctly. Then you stood back to watch what you said would be my first hit ever. I sure hit something, that's for sure. Unfortunately for you it wasn't the ball, just your head. But it only resulted in a bad headache for the both of us. Yours was obvious, mine was because I was so embarrassed. I vowed never to play baseball again.

I liked this bit, especially the bit where she knocked him out with the baseball bat. It was easily the best bit in this piece for me. I don't see any conflict in this piece.

Day Five,
When you told me you wanted to go canoeing, I had thought you knew how. But I was sadly mistaken and somehow or another we ended up stranded in the middle of the lake. And the bell for afternoon chapel had just rung. It wasn't until about ten o'clock that night that we were finally rescued. But while I was with you, I thought I already had been.

She thought she had already been what? Don't leave me in suspense...>.>'' I kind of like the way both characters go through stuff together although it still doesn't shut me up about my constant request for some kind of conflict.

Day Six,
The first day you kissed me, I remember it as if it were yesterday. You brought me to see the baby rabbits, but we never got to where you wanted to go. It started raining, so you insisted we get back to the dining area. When we got there, you immediately wrapped me up in a blanket and brought me over to a bench. I'm not sure how it started, but you started to spill out your childhood. I memorized it all, it was interesting, to have someone actually tell you everything about them. He had a nice time growing up, but had always longed for some excitement in it.Woah there I sense a change in writing style. Once he was finished he looked down at me, as if waiting for me to spill my guts.
"Nah, you don't want to hear about me." I said quietly. It wasn't a good time for me. My father had gotten arrested when I was three, never saw him again. My grandfather and grandmother had died in a fire at their house and my mom was always nagging me. I didn't want to sound like I was complaining, but for some reason, I just felt safe with you. I spilled everything, and I mean everything. When i was done I looked back up at you.
"And that's all."
You looked into my eyes and then just... kissed me. It felt like an electric shock had just coursed through my body, I'd never felt that way before. We pulled apart, but then I went back in for more just as your older brother walked in.
"Whoa youngsters, save it for the movies." he chuckled before walking around to find a muffin. I started to get up, but you stopped me.
"I'll see you out tomorrow." you told me. I remember you kissing my cheek before letting me walk away.

I thought you were writing a letter to Cody and when you write letters to people you don't generally talk about them as 'he' in the letter. Tense change? Style change? I'm a bit confused.

Day Seven,
Our first challenge, the last day of camp. We ate breakfast, packed up, and left. This year wasn't much different than the others, except for you found me before I left. I was standing at the back of my Lexus, trying to stuff my over sized bag into the trunk. I felt somebody put their arms around my waist and I turned around.
"I thought you said you were poor." you said, referring to my car.
"It's a hand-me-down from my friend. I know, I know, it's a car, not usually something a friend would give, but her family's rich, so, yeah." I replied awkwardly. you kissed my cheek and slipped me a piece of paper.
"What's this?" I asked you before unfolding it to find your phone number.
"I don't have a Facebook or MySpace, and I never really liked that texting stuff, so we can call each other." I kissed you on the cheek and slipped my phone number in your hand.
"How about you call me, okay?" You nodded and I jumped in. "I'll talk to you later!"
"yeah, later." he cried out as I drove away. I had to, before he saw my tears.

Awww summer romance over, I feel sad for both of them. But...the "" in a letter is still kind of bugging me, but maybe I'm just wrong.
Overall

I thought it was cute, but I think that you could make it more than cute. Writing a work that has to do with romance isn't just about the romance, try and make it a bit about the characters themselves as people and then add it to the story. I feel as though I have read the whole summer romance thing more times than I would have cared to, but there was something about your writing style that pulled me in.

I think you could develop on that, I would like to read and review more of your stuff. PM or click the link below in my signature to ask for a review.

Anger

iheartbooks wrote:Day One,
I had gone to camp for the past three years, so the first day I saw you that year, I didn't think anything of it. You were pastors boy, surrounded by girls. I thought your were the preppy, pretty boy, heart throb of camp. Yeah, I thought you were cute, but everyone did.


Day Two,
Like I already said, I had been to this camp for three years worth of summers, I had known you for three years worth of summers, I hadn't realized that this day was actually the day I had really met you. I was on the zip line, scared as hell I might add. You were supposed to catch my rope when I got to the end, you didn't. But as I started to swing back you reached out, grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back in.
"Hi," you said, running your hand through your hair.
"Hey," I replied as you helped me down. We stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before I started to walk away.
As I walked away you shouted out, "I'm Cody!" I looked back at you.
"I'm Meggie." I started to walk away, but turned around one last time. "Thanks, you know, for grabbing me." Then I left, but kept your name rolling around in my mind. "Cody, there was something I liked about that name."


Day Three,
It was the first day we had a conversation. I was walking back to my table during lunch, but you stopped me halfway there. You were about to say something, but looked down at my tray of food.
"You must really like peaches." you said.
"What?" I looked down at my tray. "Oh, yeah... Well, that's all my mom ever fed me when I was a baby, so I guess I have a thing for them." You shook whatever had come over you off and looked back up at me. You asked me if I liked baby rabbits and I nodded.
"Well I'll make sure I show you some sometime."
I returned to my seat smiling.


Day Four,
That was the day you taught me baseball. I laugh right now, as I think about that day. Your dad was pitcher, your uncle was catcher, and the other counselors made the outfield.
"Now how did you manage to get this set up?" I asked gasping.
"I'm pastor's kid, remember?"
Every time I swung the bat, I missed, I was known for that back home. You finally came over and showed me how to bat correctly. Then you stood back to watch what you said would be my first hit ever. I sure hit something, that's for sure. Unfortunately for you it wasn't the ball, just your head. But it only resulted in a bad headache for the both of us. Yours was obvious, mine was because I was so embarrassed. I vowed never to play baseball again.


Day Five,
When you told me you wanted to go canoeing, I had thought you knew how. But I was sadly mistaken and somehow or another we ended up stranded in the middle of the lake. And the bell for afternoon chapel had just rung. It wasn't until about ten o'clock that night that we were finally rescued. But while I was with you, I thought I already had been.


Day Six,
The first day you kissed me, I remember it as if it were yesterday. You brought me to see the baby rabbits, but we never got to where you wanted to go. It started raining, so you insisted we get back to the dining area. When we got there, you immediately wrapped me up in a blanket and brought me over to a bench. I'm not sure how it started, but you started to spill out your childhood. I memorized it all, it was interesting, to have someone actually tell you everything about them. He had a nice time growing up, but had always longed for some excitement in it. Once he was finished he looked down at me, as if waiting for me to spill my guts.
"Nah, you don't want to hear about me." I said quietly. It wasn't a good time for me. My father had gotten arrested when I was three, never saw him again. My grandfather and grandmother had died in a fire at their house and my mom was always nagging me. I didn't want to sound like I was complaining, but for some reason, I just felt safe with you. I spilled everything, and I mean everything. When i was done I looked back up at you.
"And that's all."
You looked into my eyes and then just... kissed me. It felt like an electric shock had just coursed through my body, I'd never felt that way before. We pulled apart, but then I went back in for more just as your older brother walked in.
"Whoa youngsters, save it for the movies." he chuckled before walking around to find a muffin. I started to get up, but you stopped me.
"I'll see you out tomorrow." you told me. I remember you kissing my cheek before letting me walk away.


Day Seven,
Our first challenge, the last day of camp. We ate breakfast, packed up, and left. This year wasn't much different than the others, except for you found me before I left. I was standing at the back of my Lexus, trying to stuff my over sized bag into the trunk. I felt somebody put their arms around my waist and I turned around.
"I thought you said you were poor." you said, referring to my car.
"It's a hand-me-down from my friend. I know, I know, it's a car, not usually something a friend would give, but her family's rich, so, yeah." I replied awkwardly. you kissed my cheek and slipped me a piece of paper.
"What's this?" I asked you before unfolding it to find your phone number.
"I don't have a Facebook or MySpace, and I never really liked that texting stuff, so we can call each other." I kissed you on the cheek and slipped my phone number in your hand.
"How about you call me, okay?" You nodded and I jumped in. "I'll talk to you later!"
"yeah, later." he cried out as I drove away. I had to, before he saw my tears.



Hope you liked it, tell me if you want to read more and I'll PM you when/if I write anymore!

And please, please, please review. it means more too me than you could possibly imagine!

OK Half of me liked it,other half didnt'. They hadn't really known each other THAT long before they were like kissing,and doing everything together. Lifes not like that.. I felt that there needed something much more.. More feeling..
I felt like I had just gotten to even know the guys name and now you were kissing him. Yeah I know! You had seen every three years but this was the first time you had talked to him right?!

Overall:
I just felt that it was too rushed.
Letters to Cody was not a good title.. Since when were you writing him letters anyway?!
It was a 50/50 story..

Keep trying though.

iheartbooks wrote:Day One,
I had gone to camp for the past three years, so the first day I saw you that year, I didn't think anything of it. You were pastors boy, surrounded by girls. I thought your were the preppy, pretty boy, heart throb of camp. Yeah, I thought you were cute, but everyone did.


Day Two,
Like I already said, I had been to this camp for three years worth of summers, I had known you for three years worth of summers, I hadn't realized that this day was actually the day I had really met you. I was on the zip line, scared as hell I might add. You were supposed to catch my rope when I got to the end, you didn't. But as I started to swing back you reached out, grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back in.
"Hi," you said, running your hand through your hair.
"Hey," I replied as you helped me down. We stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before I started to walk away.
As I walked away you shouted out, "I'm Cody!" I looked back at you.
"I'm Meggie." I started to walk away, but turned around one last time. "Thanks, you know, for grabbing me." Then I left, but kept your name rolling around in my mind. "Cody, there was something I liked about that name."


Day Three,
It was the first day we had a conversation. I was walking back to my table during lunch, but you stopped me halfway there. You were about to say something, but looked down at my tray of food.
"You must really like peaches." you said.
"What?" I looked down at my tray. "Oh, yeah... Well, that's all my mom ever fed me when I was a baby, so I guess I have a thing for them." You shook whatever had come over you off and looked back up at me. You asked me if I liked baby rabbits and I nodded.
"Well I'll make sure I show you some sometime."
I returned to my seat smiling.


Day Four,
That was the day you taught me baseball. I laugh right now, as I think about that day. Your dad was pitcher, your uncle was catcher, and the other counselors made the outfield.
"Now how did you manage to get this set up?" I asked gasping.
"I'm pastor's kid, remember?"
Every time I swung the bat, I missed, I was known for that back home. You finally came over and showed me how to bat correctly. Then you stood back to watch what you said would be my first hit ever. I sure hit something, that's for sure. Unfortunately for you it wasn't the ball, just your head. But it only resulted in a bad headache for the both of us. Yours was obvious, mine was because I was so embarrassed. I vowed never to play baseball again.


Day Five,
When you told me you wanted to go canoeing, I had thought you knew how. But I was sadly mistaken and somehow or another we ended up stranded in the middle of the lake. And the bell for afternoon chapel had just rung. It wasn't until about ten o'clock that night that we were finally rescued. But while I was with you, I thought I already had been.


Day Six,
The first day you kissed me, I remember it as if it were yesterday. You brought me to see the baby rabbits, but we never got to where you wanted to go. It started raining, so you insisted we get back to the dining area. When we got there, you immediately wrapped me up in a blanket and brought me over to a bench. I'm not sure how it started, but you started to spill out your childhood. I memorized it all, it was interesting, to have someone actually tell you everything about them. He had a nice time growing up, but had always longed for some excitement in it. Once he was finished he looked down at me, as if waiting for me to spill my guts.
"Nah, you don't want to hear about me." I said quietly. It wasn't a good time for me. My father had gotten arrested when I was three, never saw him again. My grandfather and grandmother had died in a fire at their house and my mom was always nagging me. I didn't want to sound like I was complaining, but for some reason, I just felt safe with you. I spilled everything, and I mean everything. When i was done I looked back up at you.
"And that's all."
You looked into my eyes and then just... kissed me. It felt like an electric shock had just coursed through my body, I'd never felt that way before. We pulled apart, but then I went back in for more just as your older brother walked in.
"Whoa youngsters, save it for the movies." he chuckled before walking around to find a muffin. I started to get up, but you stopped me.
"I'll see you out tomorrow." you told me. I remember you kissing my cheek before letting me walk away.


Day Seven,
Our first challenge, the last day of camp. We ate breakfast, packed up, and left. This year wasn't much different than the others, except for you found me before I left. I was standing at the back of my Lexus, trying to stuff my over sized bag into the trunk. I felt somebody put their arms around my waist and I turned around.
"I thought you said you were poor." you said, referring to my car.
"It's a hand-me-down from my friend. I know, I know, it's a car, not usually something a friend would give, but her family's rich, so, yeah." I replied awkwardly. you kissed my cheek and slipped me a piece of paper.
"What's this?" I asked you before unfolding it to find your phone number.
"I don't have a Facebook or MySpace, and I never really liked that texting stuff, so we can call each other." I kissed you on the cheek and slipped my phone number in your hand.
"How about you call me, okay?" You nodded and I jumped in. "I'll talk to you later!"
"yeah, later." he cried out as I drove away. I had to, before he saw my tears.



Hope you liked it, tell me if you want to read more and I'll PM you when/if I write anymore!

And please, please, please review. it means more too me than you could possibly imagine!

OK Half of me liked it,other half didnt'. They hadn't really known each other THAT long before they were like kissing,and doing everything together. Lifes not like that.. I felt that there needed something much more.. More feeling..
I felt like I had just gotten to even know the guys name and now you were kissing him. Yeah I know! You had seen every three years but this was the first time you had talked to him right?!

Overall:
I just felt that it was too rushed.
Letters to Cody was not a good title.. Since when were you writing him letters anyway?!
It was a 50/50 story..

Keep trying though.

I do have to say that this is only Part One and I'm trying to get the next part out as soon as possible. As for rushed, this is only the first... oh what's the word... umm, welll I haven't really re-edited it yet, so it's my first draft! Yeah, that's it. When I posted it I just wanted suggestions for what I could do with it. Thank you all for your reviews, they really mean a lot to me.

-iheartbooks♥