Poetry is... v.2

I feel a bit naughty posting this so soon after my first version of it, but what can I say? I'm eager.

Spoiler

Basically, I took the original and just extended it - I didn't take anything out. My critics for the original seemed to to not fully understand it (though I have a hunch one of them was pretty close), suggesting that perhaps it raised questions which should have been answered but remained unanswered. To be honest, this updated version probably raises many more questions, but it attempts to answer them. Hopefully by the end you will cease to care about the questions and just accept...whatever it is you're meant to accept.

Give honest feedback, please.

Poetry is... (version 2)

Poetry is life,
and life is poetry.
Why is poetry life?
Why is life poetry?
Ask instead, why is poetry poetic,
and why is life living?

Poetry is uttered from the mouth,
and from the mouth poetry utters.
How do mouths utter?
How do poems utter?
The first breathes with teeth and tongue,
the second with words alone.

Poetry is read by you,
and you are read by poetry.
Why do I read poetry?
How does poetry read me?
Your eyes see light, that is what you seek,
the poem investigates your soul.

Poetry is written,
and write, poetry does.
Why is poetry written?
How does poetry write?
You feel inspired,
the poem inspires you.

Poetry is inspired by the Cosmos,
and the Cosmos is inspired by poetry.
Why does the Cosmos inspire?
Why does poetry inspire?
Inspiration is itself, and it serves itself,
it serves itself, and it becomes itself.

Poetry is yelled towards a wall,
and from a wall poetry can yell.
Why is poetry yelled?
How does poetry yell?
The wall does not hear, it does not discriminate,
it accepts only the truth, and reflects only the truth.

Poetry is perceived by men and women,
and men and women are perceived by poetry.
Why do men and women perceive?
How does poetry perceive?
The sighted must lead the blind,
just as poetry leads the lost.

Poetry is whispered softly,
and whisper softly, poetry does.
Why whisper poetry softly?
Why does poetry whisper softly?
Poetry is delicate,
and so are human ears.

Poetry is anything you want it to be,
and anything you want is poetry.
Is poetry anything?
Is anything poetry?
Yes. It is everything your mind perceives.
Yes. Because the mind perceives.

Poetry is written by the poet,
and the poet, poetry writes.
Why?
How?
Because you are poetry.
Because you write.

And ultimately…

Poetry, just is.

Well anyone who couldn't conceive this probably isn't a very good critic. I loved the concept, I admit this won't be much of a review, but I feel compelled to say it. Basically poetry IS life, it has a double standard on everything, it is art, which holds a power over us, as we hold the power over it.

Hi there!
I’m glad you want honest feedback; because that’s the kind I like best. Once I’d read this, and then what was in your spoiler, I had a look at the original poem and the comments on it. I can tell you right off, I prefer the other one for a lot of reasons – or maybe just one? It’s shorter. This poem has to be short because it’s so repetitive. By increasing the length all you’ve done is increase the repetition and after four lines that gets very old.

There are some wondrous, beautiful poems out there which are in fact about poetry – Ars Poetica, as it were – and I suggest you check out Leja because her poem about poetry is divine, really. There has been some truly fantastic poems on YWS which fall under the Ars Poetrica heading – which I know because there was a contest last year or so, asking for them. Gadi and Palantalid are poets on the site you should definitely look at. Also Kylan, but that’s just because I find his work amazing, I don’t think he’s written an ars poetica at all.

You seem to want to get to the bottom of poetry, the bare bones of what is an art and a love and a life that many people breathe. However, you’re missing all of the points that make poetry the fantastic medium it is. I think that when you are creating a work which is about the medium it should be an example of that medium not only in content but also in form. Why don’t you have any imagery or description? Where is the lyricism and where is the emotion? Sure, poetry just is. Poets know that, other people maybe don’t know it, so you’ve just told them. But you haven’t shown them at all. You haven’t used your poetic tools to make your poem like a breath, or like a heartbeat or made any effort to immerse your readers into the poem. We are left feeling like you’ve TOLD us something that we already know. Why not show us instead. Be metaphorical, be literal, but be poetic.

You have the base here, more so in your previous post, just work with your poem and the flow you could have if you branched out a little and it could be rad.

Any questions or comments, feel free to pm me.
*Hearts* Le Penguin

Ask instead, why is poetry poetic,and why is life living?

I am hesitant to call this a masterpiece because you used "poetry" and "poetic" side by side. It feels like answering the question using the question itself, something which Zen verses often present into a paradox.

Poetry is read by you,
and you are read by poetry.

Again, I do not quite understand how poetry can read you. A clarification or guided interpretation would be appreciated.

Poetry is written,
and write, poetry does.

I would like an explanation of this. I believe it means poetry can write, or change, lives but a confirmation of this interpretation would be appreciated. I like this because of the simplicity it offers but remember, poetry can be recited aloud.

Poetry is inspired by the Cosmos,
and the Cosmos is inspired by poetry.

Again I would like to see some scientific proof of this. From a literary standpoint I believe you are trying to make a circle, linking ideas with other ideas and back again, but more planning is needed.

Poetry is yelled towards a wall,
and from a wall poetry can yell.

This one is excellent. It makes sense and has the poetic edge.

Poetry is perceived by men and women,
and men and women are perceived by poetry.
Why do men and women perceive?
How does poetry perceive?
The sighted must lead the blind,
just as poetry leads the lost.

Very well written and like the previous excerpt, makes a reasonable degree of sense.

Poetry, just is.

The metaphorical icing on this poetic cake.

Although like a cake, some ingredients did not attract my desire. I found confusing because of their lack of rationality (case and point "Ask instead, why is poetry poetic,and why is life living?"). With that said, I did find very interesting and appealing jewels embedded in this poetic piece. I especially enjoyed how you compare poetry to a leader who "leads the lost" and I am certain that has happened in the past to notable poets. Perhaps a guided interpretation is needed on some sections in a spoiler but overall this is fairly well written. Keep on writing.

Sincerely,
-Elitehusky

Truthfully, I liked the other versing of the poem better. In this it seems as if you are just taking questions and answering then, trying to get people to understand the poem better. I think that the first poem is pretty easy to understand. In the first poem you kinda show how poetry is connected to all things and to all things poetry is connected... So, ya, I like the other version better, this just seems to be trying to hard to get people to understand what was being said in the first poem, that if you think about it, its not that hard to understand what you are saying...

~Rain~