Wrote this when one of my best friends' dad died in the war

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We pass and leave you lying,
No need
For rhetoric,
For funeral music,
For melancholy bugle calls.
No need for tears now,
No need for regret.

We took our risk with you;
You died,
Yet we live.
We take your nobility,
Salute sadly
For the last time,
Those lines
Of pitiable crosses,
Those solitary mounds,
Those unknown graves,
And turn to live our lives out as we may.

Which of us
Were less fortunate?
Who can tell?

For you there is
Eternal cold silence,
And twilight drooping
In awful desolation
Over those motionless lands.
Eyes no longer bright,
But unseeing-
Forever more.

And us!
To now weep
Over our lost comrade.
Lost silent soldiers,
Who might have died,
We salute you.




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Hey AspiringAuthor. I like the imagery. I also think it's nice that you're writing it because a friends' dad died.
aspiringauthor17 wrote: For you there is
Eternal cold silence,
And twilight drooping
In awful desolation
Over those motionless lands.
Eyes no longer bright,
But unseeing-
Forever more.

I like that part the most. I hope you write more stuff.
~Ladypurple.
You're new? Great seas! Why haven't you gone to the Buddy System yet?



You're dealing with writers. The words "normal" and "usual occurrence" do not compute.
~Rosey Unicorn




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I think that it's really nice that you wrote this for your friend, and I love the poem. I agree with Ladypurple, the imagery was great. I hope to see more from you :)




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Thanks for the encouraging comments, guys. I really appreciate it! :)

~Lindsay
"Dreams are inevitable, especially when you're in the middle of them" ~(By me)




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aspiringauthor17 wrote:We pass and leave you lying,
No need
For rhetoric,
For funeral music,
For melancholy bugle calls.
No need for tears now,
No need for regret.

We took our risk with you;
You died,
Yet we live.
We take your nobility,
Salute sadly
For the last time,
Those lines
Of pitiable crosses,
Those solitary mounds,
Those unknown graves,
And turn to live our lives out as we may.

Which of us
Were less fortunate?
Who can tell?

For you there is
Eternal cold silence,
And twilight drooping
In awful desolation
Over those motionless lands.
Eyes no longer bright,
But unseeing-
Forever more.

And us!
To now weep
Over our lost comrade.
Lost silent soldiers,
Who might have died,
We salute you.


Aww...that's so...SWEET! And great! You're talented, that's plain truth!
OK, so this is going to be short and sweet.
I loved it, nothing wrong that I see, keep writing, and if you need me to review anything for you, shoot me a PM!

~xX~Forsakinshadow~Xx~
Hakuna Matata <3
RIP to all my friends who didn’t make it.

Hop freight or get lost.




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I really loved this. It really did fill me up with emotion. And the title actually helped a lot, as obvious as it was, and made me feel the pain and sympathy for your friend. Thank you for writing this, and don't stop!
I want a lover I don't have to love.



Don't let fear keep you from some amazing opportunities.
— WeepingWisteria