Everyone's Fool

On the 12th line, you spelled relief wrong.

There should be a question mark after "What's it like to be at the bottom" and after "Failure" a few lines down.

I love the sixth section and since you have such a great ending there, I think that is when you should cut the poem.

I really like this poem because it expresses what every competitive individual feels at one point or another.

~Lindsay

Hi, this was a good poem! I think you should add some question marks though especially here: "Is it horrible, Is it disgusting, Is it a releif" Also you spelled relief "releif". I like this poem especially this line "To see in every direction" it just seemed to make the poem flow and sound nicely. I hope I helped some!

-KAH

oohhh ok so when i read this i couldn't decide if i did or didn't like the feeling of sadness and hopelessness it gave me i think i liked it (not because i like being sad) but because the wording and the way it was written was very impressive.

great job Master

This didn't have a great flow for me... it was a good piece, and I like the thought behind it.. the metaphor of losing handholds was nice.. but I think that perhaps you could have gone further with it, creating a more consistent rhythm, making it seem more.. well- poetic in some ways. The wording was nice, but parts of it felt more like statements rather than verses.

Overall, nice piece, but I think you could make it even better.

-Coral

Hello, and thank you for the reviews. I wrote this poem really fast, and thanks for catching my errors. But I also thank you for your compliments. I guess the feeling I was trying to portray was almost a resigned sense of sadness and hopelessness.

I edited it, and I hope it's a little better than the first.