Across Galaxies (Deleted for publishing reasons)

Deleted for publishing reasons.

This is beautiful. It's simple, yet covers a large scope with imagery. Definitely different from anything else I've read in a while. I never would have compared a person to the stars, but the idea is enchanting. It's an echo of things lost and yet still seen. Looking at the stars always seems to give me a heartache, sometimes it's one of those good ones, and others it is so painful as to make me want to cry for a reason difficult to decipher. And reading your poem gave me a glimmer of that feeling. You may be wondering: "Well, does she have any criticisms? Was there anything wrong?" And my answer is: "I don't think poetry should be criticized. It's something personal, and if someone is going to find something wrong with it, let it be the author." So, no, I think it's great the way it is. Unless of course you want to clarify this line:

A constellation I can look for for hours upon hours

by adding a comma between the "for"s. If not, well, it's still great.

Hi Persephoneia! Excellent poem you have here!

First thing: enjambment. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just that I don't get it. I mean, what is the reason for your space between lines? Your line breaks seem a bit random to me.

Next: the two fors. Perhaps instead of "look for" you could say "seek."

Hope this helps!

- Abigail

this is really good! its simple but if you look deeper its got a good message. i love you metephors they really brought it together