Why?

Why do i cry,
After you cross my mind?
Why do I wallow in my sorrow,
When I think of tomorrow?
Why do I suffer from this depression,
After I saw your expression
Why,
Oh Why,
Did you have to die?

Suppper intenseee!!! You sent this to me in a text once I think. Okayy! It's kinda sad :'(. Imagine me blinking away the tears. I really do like this poem though in all seriousness!!

Much Love,
--Anne<3

Hey Jesse,

Why do i I cry,
After you cross my mind? This seems awkward, perhaps you could say 'Soon after you cross my mind'
Why do I wallow in my sorrow, Should be a '?' instead of a comma
When I think of tomorrow?
Why do i Capital letter Isuffer from this depression,
After I saw your expression
Why, ?
Oh Why,
Did you have to die?

What I thought...

I think you tried a bit too hard on the rhyming and that killed it a bit. This is good but it most definitely can be improved upon, there should be a bit more imagery. There really wasn't any kind of misspelling in this but there were times when grammar failed you.

In terms of an inpromptu speech it is good as well as the rhyming.
I like the use of the words, and surely when you say this to someone, it's like wow!
Amazing!
Also keep in mind of choosing the right words
Never use words that are too deep.
Simple is fine.
Also remember your grammar.

Overall it is nice.

So tragic!

Why do I wallow in my sorrow,

I really like this line. It's very strong and I like the use of wallow

Nice poem!

This piece was definitely written with emotion, and I hope (if it is based on true events in your life) that you find comfort. I know the feeling, and just thinking of such a thing happening to another person who is close to me is hard to bear.

However, while reading it, it feels as if the rhyme was forced.

Why do I wallow in my sorrow,
When I think of tomorrow?

This line in particular, although deep, doesn't flow too well (in my opinion).

Cheers, Doug

Just gonna get to the point here, rhyming was good but this confused me a bit. Shouldn't you have put that someone died in the beginning ? Or give some hint to it other than keep saying 'why' try to rework the words a bit. Theres not much for me to work with here. Keep writing though, I'm sure you can do better.