Daisies are my Favorite

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Gender Female
Points 719
Reviews 562
Definitely a new type of poem for me. :)
And I'm trying to use more punctuation. Did I overdo it?



Daisies:
The musical flowers
Have always been my favorite,
Because they tell me if you love me.

With each smiling little petal
I get closer to my secret answer,
And as they’re whisked off by the wind
My hand trembles in a gentle anticipation.

I have to play again and doublecheck-
it’s just what you do;
And another blushing daisy succumbs to my curious nature,
Petals plucked with an anxious finger.

The answer changes every time,
And I have to wonder when I’m through
How you can dance so fluidly
To and from fidelity.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1057
Reviews 63
This was an okay poem I did not feel it much at all though, try helping the reader see what you are seeing, we cannot see inside your head (: Take note to this: whenever you write and you write for yourself no imagery is still bad, you want to paint a picture for your poem, not just write down and be done with it. Well I don't have much else to saw about this. Keep Writing!

-M.
Pain is beautiful, when you feel pain you know you're alive. -Criss Angel




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Gender None specified
Points 1720
Reviews 20
Being a guy, I don't normally use the word "cute," but that was really cute and playful and clever and I liked it. I would suggest using another word to describe the flowers at first: something other than "musical." I'd also make the same suggestion regarding the epitaph for the petals: something a little more descriptive or expressive, I would say, than "smiling little." All in all: Good work.
There's no rain there's no me, I'm tellin' ya man sure as shit. - From Poem by Jack Kerouac




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Gender Male
Points 1138
Reviews 19
I thought it was a pretty good poem, the imagery was subtle but the emotion was definitely tangible.



I’d heard he had started a fistfight in one of the seedier local taverns because someone had insisted on saying the word “utilize” instead of “use".
— Patrick Rothfuss, A Wise Man's Fear