Addiction

I like this. It has an edge of darkness and despair that's almost like fire, or something ravaging and terrible...fire was actually the image in the back of my head as I was reading.

I'm not sure how addicts would relate to this, as I am not an addict, but I quite enjoyed it.

Thanks! this was inspired by stories of addicts who are trying to recover and keeps on failing. I have never been an addict myself but I wonder if this is how they might feel......even the slightest bit....they are in real pain and I have a soft side for their misery.

Hey TanazMasaba,

Forgive me, as this is my first review that I have given in quite a while, and I might be a bit rusty.

Onto the Poem!

The main problem that I see in this is the unoriginality. The topic is extremely popular with young writers, the idea of addiction is alluring. Something so tempting that one can't resist... However, it's difficult to portray such a thing in a tangible and effective way, and unfortunately I don't feel that you have quite hit the mark with this piece. The idea of talking to yourself in the mirror, having a one sided conversation with the "lighter vs darker" feel is something that I have read before, and will probably some day read again.

My suggestion is to do a bit of reading into this subject. If you want to write about addiction, know it. As a recovering addict (which I am), I had a difficult time relating to this poem because it doesn't go deep enough for me. It doesn't get the reader to a point where they are almost uncomfortable with what they're reading. I think if you're going to go for such an intense topic, you need to try to match the intensity with you're writing.

The first way to do this effectively is to expand on your imagery, creating an image is the greatest trick that a poetry writer can use. It should be the first thing that you think of, "Is my reader here, can they feel what I am feeling, are they exactly where I want them to be?" because as a poet, that's what we do. We paint a picture with our words, and make our readers feel exactly what we were feeling when we wrote it.

Really though, this poem does have potential, I think that what it needs is some expansion and some guts. Don't be afraid to go to a place that might make your reader uncomfortable, especially with a topic like addiction.

Hope this helps,
OverEasy

Very nice! I have never personally been addicted but I know addicts and yes this is close to their feelings.