For Those Who Fall In Love Easy

Not a sin not a curse from what I can see
for those who fall in love easy
It happens so quickly like lightning striking
but when it's lost the hurt always stays inside
We try to fight it but we always lose
our hearts tell us what we must do
A confession is harder then letting go
but when we try the heart just tells us no
Love is not easy, but neither are we
Complicated and special as you can see
We tell ourselves that this love is just a lie
and no one else can see us cry
So if you feel the way I do
and as hard as you try you cannot follow through
Fall in love easy, and fall out of love hard
Because a lesson can be learned in everyone's heart
Believe it or not, your pain and sorrow, will come to an end
Cause even the worst heartbreak can be cured by him

For those who fall in love easy, being is love is worth being.

-Just some thoughts of mine that came via inspiration!
I hope some people can relate to this, and maybe even learn a little from it.
The only cure for heartbreak is love, and for those of us who fall in love easy...well
let's just say we don't stay heartbroken too long.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"

This is me, but in a poem!

I loved it, Derek

*coco

Okay, as far as I can see the grammer was great. But, this read more like sentences. I think if you either took out the periods at the end of the sentences, or broke it up like this:

Not a sin not a curse from what I can see,
for those who fall in love easy.
It happens so quickly like the blink of an eye
but when it's lost the hurt always stays inside.
We try to fight it but we always lose,
our hearts tell us what we must do.
A confession is harder then letting go,
but when we try the heart just tells us no.
Love is not easy, but neither are we.
Complicated and special as you can see.
We tell ourselves that it's just a lie,
but no one else can see us cry.

I think then it would read more like a poem. Otherwise, it's basically prose. Formal prose, at that.

Overall, I really like it. I can't say I can relate, entirely, but it was well done. The rhyme doesn't sound forced, and it flows well. you have a gift for this stuff. Keep writing!

Kay

Derek wrote:Not a sin not a curse from what I can see, for those who fall in love easy.
It happens so quickly like the blink of an eye but when it's lost the hurt always stays inside. I really like this line, the rhyme fits in perfectly. But I still have a bit of an iffy feeling about it. The blink of an eye. It tends to be overused, especially to describe love. Maybe something more original would seem more fitting.
We try to fight it but we always lose, our hearts tell us what we must do.
A confession is harder then letting go, but when we try the heart just tells us no.
Love is not easy, but neither are we. Complicated and special as you can see.
We tell ourselves that it's just a lie, but no one else can see us cry. I'm a bit confused on this. What's a lie? The love? The hurt? The other person? Why are we crying?
So if you feel the way I do, and as hard as you try you cannot follow through.
Fall in love easy, and fall out of love hard.
Because a lesson can be learned in everyone's heart.
Your pain and your sorrow, it won't last forever. This makes me think that if heartbreak can be cured, and it won't last forever, then why did you say in the first line that "the hurt always stays inside" Jumping back and forth to ideas tends to confuse the reader, and ruin the message.
Cause even the worst heartbreak can be cured forever. Eh, I'm not saying to rhyme, but 'forever' is getting oveused.

For those who fall in love easy, being is love is worth being.

Hey Derek,

Alright, I'm really bittersweet about this.
I'm not sure if I like it, but I don't think I dislike it either.
My opinions/corrections are in red up above.

Overall;

I thought it was definitely a piece that could reach out to people, but a bit confusing at times. You seemed to jump back and forth with your ideas, making the piece really cluttered. But I liked the quote in the end, and I think you really wrote it from your heart. It needs work, but it definitely caught my attention!
Keep writing!

--JD

Hola! I thought this was pretty well done . I aree with one of the people above talking about breaking it up into smaller lines adn such. Other than that I really liked this

I love this poem!

All my suggestions were already said above so all I can do is gush now.

I think the message in this poem is SO true and you just nailed. I enjoyed reading it.

Just did an edit on it!(after all your wonderful suggestions). Hope you like the revised.

So, I haven't reviewed in like a thousand years, but I just thought I'd mention this because no one else has:

Not a sin not a curse from what I can see
for those who fall in love easy

Easy should be 'easily'. Because. That's grammatically correct, right? And it still upholds the rhyme and it sounds better anyway.

I'm no poetry expert, but as I read this poem I got this beat going in my head:

duhduh duhduh duhduh duhDUH.

Sometimes, you deviate from this rhythm or pulse, as it's called in poetry, and it really detracts from the writing. Speak this poem out loud and I'm sure you'll catch what I mean. At times, you add an extra syllable or two which effs up the pulse, and pulls us out of the poem itself and catches us thinking, "That line totes did not work."

So, I don't really have anything helpful to say other than read this out loud. Don't be afraid to change things, honestly.

-Jared