The Hall of Hats - The Ringmaster

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Points 12621
Reviews 83
I've decided to make a series of a poem I wrote for a story!
You can find the first one here: viewtopic.php?t=65761
The second here: viewtopic.php?t=66750

And here's the third! Any reviews welcome. :D

---

Here is another poem,
I know you’ve been waiting
This is about the man,
You all should be hating

Yes, you’ve guessed, the man with the cat
And the masked face, and the ringmasters hat
You’ve heard of him before, or maybe you haven’t
But the fact of it is, by the end you’ll wish you hadn’t

He is a man with no real name
He has no house, no job and no fame
He sticks to the shadows,
He stalks teens at night
He’s unlike any other,
And unlike in his plight

A woman called Anna
Once stopped near a wall
Against it, a banner
It was the Ringmaster’s hall
He had no house, and he had no followers
But his hall was the work of artists and cobblers

The woman was only nineteen, and a rebel at that
She opened the door, into a hall filled with hats
There was baseball, party, animal hide
Scuba masks and blue ones with flowers on the side

But in one corner of the colourful hall
Anna saw something that left her appalled
It was a skull, human and real
Anna’s eyes grew big, she turned on her heel
It teeth were cracked, it was disgust galore
Running among the hats, she reached for the door

In front shot a phantom, post-it yellow
Its eyes left her hypnotized, its sweet scent was mellow
It shut the door with one hind paw
It locked it with a click, the key in its maw

A green spotlight shot down from the sky
And lit up a caldron, and a tall guy
His hat was the biggest, the most colourful, the supreme
His cat was on the ladle, with a smile of received cream

The man began to chant with no subject or rhyme
Poor Anne’s nose clogged with the smell of thyme
Her hair flew vertical, on the roof opened a hatch
Down stared the moon, and the man gestured to his catch

Poor sweet Anna, whose curiosity had won
Began to walk like a zombie, under the opposite of the sun
Silver lit her hair, of something the man added a drip
The coldron lit with blue, and towards the water
Anna
Began
To
Tip!

The glowing water
Swallowed her whole
Joe Day’s daughter
Fell into the bowl
There was a fizz,
A whip-like crack
The water had swallowed her
And she’d never be given back

The impatient moon
Was pleased with the man
Growing the wings of a loon,
she flew and kissed his hand

I thank you, my dear, for this gory present
But Orion has my love,
And with yours I will never be content
So until next time, I wish you well
But keep sacrificing girls, and you’ll go to Hell

The Ringmaster lowered his head
To cover his grin
He wasn’t over yet, and soon he will win
He will not stop until the moon was brought down
And he was among the stars, holding her crown

The next day, the hall was empty
And its next tenants attempted entry
The colourful tiled floor was sparkling clean
And nothing but a small lock of hair showed where Anna Day had been

---

~Durrs
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Gender Female
Points 367
Reviews 165
I really liked it, but if I remember right it was rated E for everybody. I thought it was inaccurately rated, personally. Good story, I like it! Some of the lines may not follow the general rhythm, so that is a problem. It just makes the sentences sound run-on, you know what I mean?
Shakespearian tongue-twister:

To sit in solemn silence
In a dark, dank dock
In a pestilential prison
With a lifelong lock;
Awaiting the sensation
Of a short, sharp shock
Of a cheap, chippy chopper
On a big black block.




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Gender None specified
Points 1072
Reviews 2
Good story, I can agree with the others about the rythim(no biggy). Howwever it does remind me a lot of "Dope Hat" by Marilyn Manson. Any relation?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 12621
Reviews 83
No, I've never heard of it or heard it, as far as I know. Thank you both for commenting!
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Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way.
— Isabel Quintero