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Classy Witch (A Draco-Hermione love story/parody)

Jon · 2010-07-09T04:02:29Z

This is an 85-line poem about the love/romance between Draco and Hermione. It is a parody, kinda'. JFW1415, one night, ask (told xD) me to write a 100 line poem about this, a "Dramione" as she called it. So, being the nice guy I am...and her constant yelling at me to do it, I did it. So, here it is: ~~~~~~~ He will love me with this poly-juice potion - In my control - his undying devotion! Muahaha! Bruhaha! Bwahaha! ... Ha. He shall have a fire greater than Ra. As I watch him in the night, I see his dreams are filled with fright - But soon I shall fill his dreams and replace them with me - his Queen. Forget a spell to make him mine - That sends shivers down my spine! Who could be so low? I use potions, ya' know? (I'm classy) With my red hair and seductive style - and his good looks to stay a while - We'll have children of our own - This I know (and condone). I set the juice to simmer down - and soon I'll look all around to seek his face. White face - Oh, how it glows like fluorescent waste. For those of you who think he's bad - Just look at the hardships he has had! I heard a ghost say that they saw Trelawny gaze and see his goodness in future days! Forget Ron and his...loserness - I like a man I must confess. So here he comes - My man - only now I'll reprimand. I drank the juice with defying magic - my solidity faded - how tragic - But he looked at me - finally - and this is what he said to me: Moaning Myrtle - you're lovely today - Can I have a date, if I may? I promise to swoon you through the night until what passes through is morning light. I floated to him in passionate desire - To phase through him - how Dire! But I just may to make him stay - But then he opened his mouth to say: I've seen you in the stalls - even in all my class-route halls and as I sit in the stall, a smile come over me - you're in my bile. (And how closer can one be?) How I love you, Myrtle - You're so tragically dead - So, maybe to be with you, I'll jinx my head! And I say: No! and take off my disguise - will it be enough or too much of a surprise? His face was shocked - Like he'd been mocked - Sock'd in the nose by my solid fist of mixed-blood. "A mudblood?!" "Yes." "No..." "...Er, yes." (It seemed as though he'd take convincing - my love in spell form should be the fixing!) I know - I said I couldn't be that low - But I'm one classy witch And we witches, sometimes, make love stitches. "Cupendous!" I screamed in his face - His jaw dropped - his mind in lace. His mind thinking of me in lace - Haha, that evil boy...it won't go to waste. So I lead him up to my highest tower to my chambers so I could devour and love him. He was my love-puppet - but only to talk was my true desire... We went to the clock tower to gaze the stars - He held my hand and sat idle - He left me with quiet thoughts of how much love I'd caught! You ask how I could get this lover? Well, it's simple - let me cover it. It's my niche: I'm one Classy Witch. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, obviously, this isn't a serious poem. It's meant to be fun, I guess -- so, no reviews on quality, because obviously it's not meant to be. Jen -- I'm glad I'm done, lol. This gave me a headache. xD

EleanorRigby

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Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:31 pm

EleanorRigby says... · Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:31 pm

Hahahaha! This was awesome.

Loved it.

"Writing is a dog's life, but it's the only one worth living." - Gustave Flaubert.

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Sionarama

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Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:32 pm

Sionarama says... · Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:32 pm

wow!!! This is a hilarious poem though kinda confusing... but, remeber, its nonsence!
your lines
are divine
very fine!!
like my praise poem? Only a few lucky ones get it...
I definately give you a hand for that expert rhyming!!
Nice job!,
sionarama

"You may not be educated well in the areas of etiquette and the like as a princess, but you do throw some bashing good parties!"
Not all princesses are pink sparkles.
Exhibit A

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midnightread

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Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:25 pm

midnightread says... · Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:25 pm

I love it. Normally poetry bores me to death but then normally there dull and boring. This was really funny and it was absolutely brilliant. :elephant:

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.

Growing old is mandatory,
Growing up is optional.

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I love her dearly, but I can’t live with her for a day without feeling my whole life is wasting away.
— Miss Kenton, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

Classy Witch (A Draco-Hermione love story/parody)

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