I am submitting this (after much editing) to a short story contest that allows for any genre/any type of story at all. I need thorough reviews - I know you're all good for it.
It may seem a little long but I didn't want to put it it parts and that the chance that you'll get lost somewhere between parts, so, here is my story, simply intitled: Possessing Maya!
Also, there's one tiny curse word.
AND I wanted to mention: the short story is 4000 words or less so I detailed sparingly. As of now, I have a little leeway but I wanted to make sure the story was interesting before investing any more time in it. THanks!!
* And for those of you simply lurking, reading the story without reviewing, well, thanks for stopping by!*
Tanya
Possessing Maya
Maya ran. When her legs tired and her breath shortened, she dispensed a little magic from her inner reserve and her body was once more as new. But her magic was nearly depleted. She needed to stop and rest but knew the hunter was close on her heels.
She didn’t know which day or month or even century she was in but every step she took, the hunter advanced. She had been chased many times during her long life but never had she come this close to being caught.
Maya felt a stitch in her side and forced herself to stop, to get her bearings. She couldn’t continue running blindly; she might just end up in the hunter’s waiting arms. She bent in half, panting, her hands supporting her whole body by resting on her weary knees. Her long blonde hair formed a curtain around her head.
When Maya was able to take a deep, painless breath, she straightened and flipped the heavy length of hair behind her shoulder. Hands on hips, she looked around. She had just escaped a forest and was now facing the bright blue stillness of the ocean. The view would have been breathtaking, if she’d had any breath to spare.
For a full precious minute, she inhaled the salty smell of the ocean, tilted her head back and felt the cool breeze on her face. She watched the ebb and flow of the gentle tide and realised that if she walked in water, it would immediately erase her footsteps.
Maya strode forward purposefully. A step before reaching the water line, she dropped to the sandy beach, screaming.
* * *
Finally, the hunter thought, Maya had made a mistake! He stared at the knife protruding from the partial footstep in the ground. Maya had done a good job covering her tracks; she’d kept to hard surfaces, walked in bodies of water and thick grass. When her prints would appear, she’d made sure to erase them.
The hunter crouched beside the footprint, touched it with his index and brought the finger to his lips for a taste. A jolt of power went through him and he rose, elated.
Finally, he was reaching his goal. He would capture her before the end of the day. An image of his father flashed before his eyes. His father had spent his lifetime searching for the elusive Maya, until he was too old and weak. And now, it was within his grasp to bring Maya to him. To show him what he was worth.
After glancing one more time at the silver-coloured handle protruding from the dirt, the hunter strode forward, his mind entirely set on his prey.
She would remain where she was until he delivered her. Then he would possess her and return her with him to his father. And if she didn’t want to cooperate? He would make her.
* * *
Maya twisted her ankle when she landed on it and she wasn’t sure what hurt more; the throbbing in her swollen ankle or the imaginary knife embedded in her foot. Oh, the knife was surely real but because she hadn’t been careful enough to cover all her tracks, the hunter had found her print and slammed his knife into the dirt, therefore firmly freezing her in place.
“Stupid!” she muttered. She knew to cover her tracks but she’d caught the scent of a nearby pack of wolves and didn’t want to volunteer to be their next meal. And this was better?
She tried tugging on her leg, to pry her foot free, nothing. Even though she had the wide expanse of the ocean behind her, Maya felt cornered, trapped. Her heartbeat accelerated into a wild tempo, her vision blurred and she heard a disturbing whistling in her ears. She needed to get free! The hunter must not catch her!
Through the fog in her mind and the whistling in her ears, she heard someone call out to her. “Miss? Do you need help? Miss?”
Reacting on instinct, Maya rose to a half crouch, a silent snarl on her lips. A man, who looked barely older than she, stood before her. His appearance meant nothing, of course, because she was much older than she looked.
The man’s dark blue eyes studied her with interest. The wind blew a lock of jet-black hair across his forehead. His voice was deep and carried easily over the sound of the turf. “May I be of some assistance?”
Maya wanted to throw caution to the wind and ask the stranger for help. It wasn’t in her to trust anyone she just met, but she didn’t have much of a choice. Maybe he could yank her free of the knife. Maybe he could find something to use as a lever. Maybe . . . Something sagged inside Maya and she knew it to be ‘hope’. He could not help her, she knew that. She could only be delivered by the blood of the person who had trapped her.
“I don’t need help, I’m simply resting.” Better he leave before the hunter arrived and harmed him in the process.
“With your foot stuck in the sand?” A dark eyebrow rose incredulously.
“I - yes. Now go, thank you for stopping by.” Maya felt like slapping her forehead at her choice of words but she was desperate; he needed to leave!
The stranger made to leave, then turned back to her. Her eyes were drawn to his serious gaze and she wondered why he looked so sombre. “He’s coming for you, you know.”
“Wh – Who?” Maya stammered, her breath short.
“My brother, Parker.”
Hating herself for showing weakness but no longer able to support weight on her leg, Maya fell on her good knee and tilted her head back to stare at the man before her. “Your brother?”
“The hunter on your trail.”
Millions of questions ran through the Maya’s mind. How did he know about the hunter? Did he know about her? Was he friend or foe? With a husky voice, she asked, “Who are you?”
“My name is Josh,” he said, tipping an imaginary hat to her. “And Parker is my twin brother.”
“What is this? A race between you two to find me first? Well, you won,” Maya said. She did her best to appear lost and hurt, hoping he would believe she was weak. When he least expected it, she would attack.
Without a word, Josh dug in his right pocket and pulled out a switchblade and walked toward her. Maya watched him with wide fearful eyes that she didn’t need to fake at all. He was quicker than she’d expected. She tensed, awaiting the right moment where she would strike with all her fear and fury. She’d have to pack one hell of a good punch because she couldn’t dance around him, avoiding his blows; she was locked in place.
Catching her completely off guard, Josh flipped the blade open and the sun caught its reflection, momentarily blinding her. A second later, she was able to see Josh cut through his open left palm and blood immediately began swelling from the wound. His hand sure, his expression determined, Josh reached for her and wrapped his bloody hand around her right ankle.
The only move she made was to flinch at the unexpected pressure on her swollen ankle. She was frozen in utter shock and complete confusion and could not for the life of her sock him one for touching her. It wasn’t until he met her eyes again with deep satisfaction in his own blue ones that she discovered her right foot was dangling several inches from the sand.
Josh had freed her!
“How?” Was all she asked.
“Surely you must know it takes blood from the hunter who caught you to release you.” His eyes held amusement in them. Maya nodded. “My brother and I obviously share the same blood.”
“So you have won.” Maya’s light blue eyes dulled, lost some of their life. “You have caught me, you have freed me; you now possess me.”
Josh shook his head slowly. “You are free, Maya,” he said softly, “I hold no possession over you.”
He held out a hand to her which she took, hesitantly. Straining to appear unscathed, she leaned the whole of her weight on her left side. “I don’t understand,” Maya finally said, searching Josh’s gaze. “Why help me, then set me free? You do know what it means to possess me?”
A strange light flared in the man’s direct gaze but he said softly, “You give too much of yourself away. Do I know that once possessed of you, we gain complete control of what you are, both white and black magic? Yes, I know exactly what you are. But if I hadn’t known, you’d just given yourself away.”
Maya accepted the silent rebuke. Of course, she knew this but this man was unsettling to her. She couldn’t anticipate his next move, couldn’t guess what he was thinking. “Then, why?”
“I’m not searching to gain power over you. There is something I would like you to help me with, but on your own free will; I will not coerce you.”
“What is it?”
Josh turned his gaze to the ocean and the setting sun created a beautiful background behind them. “My father is dying. He is the reason my brother and I know of you; he has searched his whole life for you.”
“Is he – are you from this century?”
Josh smiled. “No, we aren’t. We were blessed – or cursed- with the ability to time travel. We are called the Time Walkers.”
Maya nodded. “I’ve heard of you. You can skip time and never age but as soon as you regain your own period, you age impossibly fast.”
“Which is what happened to my father.” He searched his words before saying, “I think my brother has poisoned our mother to force our father to come back to her. I think he found a way to maintain her illness until our father was too old to walk time. Now Mother is well and Father is bedridden.”
“Why would he do such a thing?” Maya asked, appalled.
“I suspect his reasons are unclear, even to him.” Josh said softly, “But if I know my brother well, it is because of his jealousy of our father.” Josh tore his gaze from the ocean and met Maya’s gaze. “Before I explain any further, I must know if you are willing to help me. My brother is on his way and we do not want to be here when he arrives and finds you free.”
Maya hesitated all of two seconds. Josh had freed her from her terrible predicament, then released her. All he asked in return was for her help. She would go and save the old man, then once again be on the run. As soon as she nodded her consent, Josh reached for her and lifted her effortlessly in his arms. With a brisk pace, he headed in the direction he’d come from.
“What are you doing? Set me down!”
Josh’s voice was as gentle as the warm breeze as he said, “If you haven’t healed yourself already it is that your magic is depleted. Take this time to rest and restore yourself. You are a lightweight to me; it is no bother at all. Sleep, Maya,” he whispered.
Maya yawned, his voice having cast a spell on her. Her eyes fluttered closed as she said sleepily, “You do know much about me, don’t you?”
* * *
Parked cursed when he arrived on the sandy beach. Not only was Maya gone, but so was her print, either erased by herself or by the ebbing tide. How had she escaped? He had been so close! Parker frowned and studied the footprints on the ground. Some prints went back and forth from the tide where Parker could still feel Maya’s presence. The shoe prints were too big to be Maya and she was barefoot, anyway. Frowning deeper, Parker crouched and pressed his fingertips to the print. Joshua. His twin’s familiar essence shot through him.
What had his brother done? Released Maya with their shared blood? White-hot fury burned through Parker at his brother’s betrayal but suddenly, he was ice-cold. There would be only one reason Joshua would take Maya for himself; to take her to their father!
Nausea leapt up Parker’s throat. Had his twin discovered what he’d done?
* * *
Because she was finally rested, Maya knew exactly when and where they were; London, June 1802. She and Josh stood before a manor that she’d expected to be dark and forbidden. It wasn’t; Josh’s home was obviously cared for, was obviously loved.
“Tell me again why you think Parker is deliberately killing your father?” Maya asked. They stood in the shadows, watching the house, unwilling to make their presence known just yet.
“Parker is older than me by one minute. When our father dies, he gets our father’s titles and land.”
“He’s in it for the power?” Maya asked, disbelieving.
“I don’t think so. I think he simply lacks attention. He’s never been a happy person, not even as a child and has always demanded much of our parents’ notice.”
“Your father must not have been there much over the years?”
“He only began time walking after we were born. He wanted to take our mother with him on his travels but no one knew what the consequence would be on a non time Walker and so Mother waited for us to be old enough before trying.”
“And?”
Josh smiled. “She can travel with him but gets very ill when she comes back home. And she ages like he does.” Josh reached down and grasp Maya’s arm lightly, as if he needed the physical contact to set his feet firmly in the present. “I think Parker misses the undivided attention. He’s tried everything to get it from charity works, to conning, stealing, murdering, in every century, in every country.”
Maya gasped. “And no one knows about it?”
“Many people, no, because he simply jumps time after the deed is done and the murder is spoken about. But . . . I’ve followed my brother throughout the ages and kept tabs on him. I know what he’s done and I suspect why he does it; he craves the attention.”
“Poor lonely little boy,” Maya said.
Josh turned his head sharply. “Do not pity him, Maya, he’ll use you and abuse you any way he see fits, remember that.”
Maya gulped. “Do your parents know about him?”
He shook his head sadly. “I haven’t the heart to tell them. I just never thought they’d have to be suspicious of him or I would have told them.” Still grasping Maya’s arm, Josh led her from the shelter of the trees toward the manor. “Come, it is time we go inside.”
The manor was quiet which surprised Maya. After all, it was early eighteen-hundreds and Josh’s home was furnished lavishly. It was obvious they were wealthy but where were the servants? A foul stench greeted them as they walked up the stairs and turned down the hallway. Josh guided her to a thick wood door and he inhaled deeply.
Bracing herself to meet the man who’d spent years searching her, Maya didn’t pay attention to what Josh was doing beside her but she felt the sharp sting on her arm, just above where his hand gripped her. She hissed and turned her head but Josh was already busy covering her arm with his wounded hand.
She relaxed as instant relief flowed within her but suddenly froze as he spoke his next words, “Maya, you who are a being of pure magic, I claim you for myself.” Utterly shocked, Maya looked up and met Josh’s eyes. His face was etched with deep shadows and the face she’d quickly come to know was foreign to her. “You will do my bidding whenever I command it, whichever way I command it.”
“No,” Maya whispered, “no!” She’d been fooled by this soft-spoken man.
“Joshua!” a man’s voice thundered.
Maya’s head whipped to the sound of the voice and met a pair of familiar blue eyes. Parker, she thought, and her fear escaladed. If Josh, whom she trusted, could betray her, what would the hunter do to her? Parker pulled a knife with a long blade from his belt and held it to his side. His stance was menacing, and his eyes were fierce as he glared at his brother. “What have you done, Joshua?”
Without looking, Josh reached behind him, turned the door handle and pushed the door open. His hand still holding Maya, he said, “Nothing but thwarting you once again, brother.”
For the first time, Parker’s eyes met Maya’s. “What lies has he told you?”
“No lies, Parker. Simply the truth,” Josh answered hastily.
Parker’s eyes were guilt-filled as he said, “I’m sorry; I tried to get to you before he would but he was faster, for once.”
“Yes, he told me you were on my trail.”
Dark eyebrows rose. “He did?”
“Yes, he did,” Maya said, “He had freed me and now he has claimed me,” she added bitterly.
When Parker took a step toward them, Josh hastily pulled back, tugging Maya in the process. He entered the bedroom, and froze. Maya looked around and saw nothing but an ordinary bedroom. It was empty, except for her and Josh.
“What’s wrong, Joshua? Missing someone?”
“Where are they?” Josh’s voice was harsh.
“Who do you mean?” Parker asked innocently.
“You know who! Where are our parents?”
“Our mother did not survive your murderous rampage, but Father did. I hid him away.”
“Lies!” Josh bellowed.
Maya was trembling from fear. She didn’t understand what was happening. Why had she been pulled into this?
“No lies, brother. Tell me, what possessed you to kill them?”
Josh inhaled sharply. “Father said that I was never as good as you. That I wasn’t as good a tracker as you are. I decided to prove him otherwise.” Maya could hear the smirk in Josh’s voice. Josh’s hand tightened on Maya’s arm. “I found her, didn’t I?”
“Is that what it’s all about? To prove yourself?” Parker asked. “You knew I was looking for Maya to heal Father,” he said softly.
The truth suddenly struck Maya; when Josh had been telling her about Parker, he’d actually been speaking about himself! He was the tracker on her trail, and although Parker was also, it was for different reasons. Good reasons.
His eyes blazing, Parker suddenly charged, his long blade held high. Josh, reacting swiftly, flipped his switchblade and poked Maya sharply in the hip, saying, “Shield me with your body!”
Following that sentence, two things happened; Parker abruptly stopped, an appalled look on his face and Maya raised her elbow and struck with all her strength, hitting Josh squarely in the nose.
He screamed and released her. “You bitch! You’re under my command, you can’t touch me!”
“Maybe you should be better informed next time, Josh. If you try to harm a being a light, it will be delivered from your power,” Maya said calmly, although her insides were quivering.
Josh’s limbs were trembling from his fury as he wildly raised his knife and cut across her face. In move swift gesture, he brought his knife back down, intent on killing her but slipping between them, Parker pushed her away and caught the blow in his back.
Parker immediately crumpled to the floor, his spine severed, the knife still protruding. Maya felt a dark pulsing rage bubbling from the very pit of her stomach as she felt Josh’s feelings of horror mingling with deep satisfaction. Her rage rose swiftly, clawing to the surface and was finally released in a deep, primal cry. Maya called forth the dark energy emanating from within Josh, cradle it inside her palms and set it free against its previous owner. It hit Josh with the full force of both her rage and his darkness and he slammed into the stone wall behind him, snapping his head, before falling to the ground like a broken rag doll.
Maya breathed heavily, choking on the dark energy she could still feel inside her, like a bad taste on her tongue. She noticed Parker lying disarticulated at her feet and immediately all that was good and pure within Parker rose to the surface and entered her soul. She dropped to her knees, and using her own light, created a protective bubble around them both. She cradled Parker’s dark head in her arms as she watched the breath of life slowly seep back into him.
When his blue eyes fluttered open and he studied her with a mixture of awe and reverence, she realised that maybe, just this once, she could stay a little longer and in one place. For Parker’s sake, of course.
Good luck!
Oh well. I hope it goes goooooood 
But I didn't want to spill the beans! Yay!
I don't think much of when the good brother springs forward to save Maya...I don't know if he'd do that for a stranger... And the romance (I think?) you've interjected at the end (the last sentence) feels a little forced. So I'm not a fan of that.
Plus, freeing her from being stuck to the ground wouldn't magically make her foot levitate several inches-- it'd just be mobile again.
I'm a little bit surprised at how easily Maya trusts Josh. The whole scene, my mind is screaming, "He could be lying! He could be the hunter! He could be faking the twin-thing, God knows it's been done before!" But she's pretty inconsistent with her reactions-- one second steeling herself to fight, the next second deflating and giving up without any hope. This makes it hard to gauge her personality-- I thought she'd be a fighter to the death. What's up with the pansiness?
