Adobe

Have you ever used it? No? me either
Then what is the point to adobe reader?

Pdf files struggle a lot
#…dot

Its not exel or word, or anything useful
You can’t even scroll or make my cup juiceful

Animate, you cannot, type, not been able to yet
But I bet for a fact that little hand would win the bet

I like this! It's short, funny, and to the point. I like the rhyme scheme. It almost has some of the qualities of a limerick.

I've highlighted the things I might change in the first stanza in red. They're mainly just little things that probably occur to me and nobody else.

TheUnknownPoet wrote:Have you ever used it? No? Me neither
Then what is the point to Adobe Reader?

TheUnknownPoet wrote:Pdf files struggle a lot
#…dot

I love this bit! Everyone loathes those little squares, and the use of them here definitely gets your point across.

TheUnknownPoet wrote:Its not Excel or Word, or anything useful
You can’t even scroll or make my cup juiceful

Wait, I'm confused. What does "mak[ing your] cup juiceful" have to do with not even being able to scroll. I think the necessity to rhyme is holding you back here. I suggest changing "useful," because "juiceful" is not a word. In fact, I just looked up the word "useful" in two separate online rhyming dictionaries. There is no perfect double rhyme for the word "useful" in the English language, i.e. there is no two syllable word whose first syllable rhymes with "use" and whose second syllable rhymes with "ful."

TheUnknownPoet wrote:Animate, you cannot, type, not been able to yet
But I bet for a fact that little hand would win the bet

Wait, what? You said "bet" twice. And when were we talking about little hands? Again, rhyme scheme is holding you back. There are tons of words that rhyme with "yet." Try "debt," "fret," "headset," or even "asset."

Thanks for reading this critique, and I hope you will take some of my advice and make this good poem a great one!

*cough cough*

Remind me what the point of this is? You hate Adobe Reader. Fine. We get that from the first couple of lines. That's a statement, not a poem. The rest of this is unecessary garbage designed to make that two-liner statement look like a poem. If you want a debate on this, go to the Debate forum. This reads like a series of almost-bulleted points that expand on why you don't like Adobe Reader. Not a poem. There is no imagery driving this, granted, but even the conversational tone is ruined by the fact that you have to force a rhyme out of it, hence writing something that is purely a space-filler, and a rhythm-and-rhyme-keeper more than anything that vaguely even makes sense. This is a piece to be read out of bored curiosity and to be finished with bored disillusionment. I felt nothing while reading it; I thought nothing new. Quite frankly, it's that kind of indifference that you want to avoid instilling into the reader - why should we care? What makes this tidbit of personal hate so important that you need to share it with us (and do so by parading it in our faces rather than by any means of subtlety and skill)?

Have you ever used it? No? me either
Then what is the point to adobe reader?

The glaring Me neither issue aside, this fails on this front: it summarises the poem in the first couple of lines. You want to be conversational, yeah, I see that (and the rhyme isn't half-bad, either). Why do you feel the need to be conversational to the extent that you are blunt? This is a naked idea, as it is now. Sure, imagery might help swathe it nicely, construct some kind of overarching metaphor for this little niggling hate, but then again, you could also be less direct this early. And when you say 'No? Me neither,' I assume you mean you have never used Adobe Reader before. Then why do you dedicate an entire poem to criticising it? Seems a little pointless, and, what's worse, is that I can see the 'me either' bit was just chosen for the rhyme.

Pdf files struggle a lot
#…dot

Oh yes. Real smooth that. And we're meant to read this aloud how? Looks dandy on the page, but eh. Does little for the poem itself. Yeah, a rather easy space-filler.

Its not exel or word, or anything useful
You can’t even scroll or make my cup juiceful

'To make my cup juiceful'? Really? As if other programs do make your cup juiceful? This is the exact kind of write-anything-for-the-sake-of-the-rhyme that is relegating the piece into professional-sounding nonsense. And again - you've never used Adobe Reader. So how can you be telling us all this?

Animate, you cannot, type, not been able to yet
But I bet for a fact that little hand would win the bet

Besides the rather obvious misuse of commas in the first line of this, it tries to be smart and ends up sounding ridiculous. 'That little hand would win the bet' - there for the sake of the rhyme. And the ending is likewise preachy and direct, trying to be casually so, and failing what with the use of random phrases just to fill up lines and space.

--

Okay. Yeah, I can see how this might have been cute were I in a different mood, but as it is, the style is off and the construction of the poem is not well thought out. I get that this is meant to be light. That's all well-and-good, but it's light and meaningless and rather messily so. I can see, however, how this might have been written so that it was light and funny. Actually, tongue-in-cheek funny. As yet, it comes across as dull, grey, a summary of a dissertation on Adobe Reader's faults. Inject some life into it.

Navita wrote:*cough cough*

Remind me what the point of this is? You hate Adobe Reader. Fine. We get that from the first couple of lines. That's a statement, not a poem. The rest of this is unecessary garbage designed to make that two-liner statement look like a poem. If you want a debate on this, go to the Debate forum. This reads like a series of almost-bulleted points that expand on why you don't like Adobe Reader. Not a poem. There is no imagery driving this, granted, but even the conversational tone is ruined by the fact that you have to force a rhyme out of it, hence writing something that is purely a space-filler, and a rhythm-and-rhyme-keeper more than anything that vaguely even makes sense. This is a piece to be read out of bored curiosity and to be finished with bored disillusionment. I felt nothing while reading it; I thought nothing new. Quite frankly, it's that kind of indifference that you want to avoid instilling into the reader - why should we care? What makes this tidbit of personal hate so important that you need to share it with us (and do so by parading it in our faces rather than by any means of subtlety and skill)?

Exactly.

Hey there, I'm here to review your poem.

TheUnknownPoet wrote:Have you ever used it? No? me either
Then what is the point to adobe reader?

It's supposed to be Adobe Reader.

TheUnknownPoet wrote:Its not exel or word, or anything useful

It's, not its.
Excel, not 'exel.' The W of 'word' here should be capitalized.
And pardon me, but if Adobe Reader is that useless, why was it invented in the first place?

TheUnknownPoet wrote:You can’t even scroll or make my cup juiceful

A feeble attempt at rhyming . Remember, not all poems must rhyme.

Overall, to be honest, I did not like this poem. Besides the fact that it was messily written and the lacking of punctuation at some places, the purpose of this poem being written seems pointless. You state that you hate Adobe Reader, yet you've never used it, so why do you hate it so much?

I'm not going to repeat the same thing all over again, so I'll just say that I agree wholly with Navita's statement.