1
I stepped into the hazy, smoky bar and felt like I was transported through time. In my minds eye, I saw girls with high ponytails in poodle skirts, laughing snidely as men in high collared shirts flirted with them. I pulled a pack of cigarettes from my pocket, and lit one, taking a drag.
The bar was old, maybe fifty or sixty years old. The counter ran across the back wall, surrounded by rickety old barstools. I passed the tables scattered around on my way to the counter. My best friend, Nate, tapped his fingers on the countertop, idly staring into the distance.
“Hey, handsome,” I teased, “you know what I want.” Nate rolled his eyes and stared at the cigarette in my fingers.
“You still smoke?” He asked. I giggled. Nate was the one who wanted me to quit smoking.
“’Course, hon.” I said, “Now gimme my drink.” Nate sighed, probably thinking I was already smashed. He would be wrong, usually I just act drunk to throw him off. I took another drag and blew cigarette smoke in his face.
“I’m waiting,” I said, tapping my fingers on the countertop. Nate rolled his eyes, but poured me my martini.
“There, Becca. Now shut up.” He said gruffly, “I have other customers to tend to.” I frowned slightly.
“Touchy, touchy.” I muttered, “go ahead then. I’ll be no trouble.” Nate eyed me, but turned to another slutty girl in a teeny halter top and skinny jeans.
This left me alone, to drink and do nothing. I resolved that I’d never drink alone again. It wasn’t fun.
“Hey,” low, sweet and seductive, it automatically reminded me of a vampire. Then I remembered vampires weren’t real, and this guy was hot. I looked up, into a pair of startling blue eyes. I gave him a once over. His black tee-shirt looked old and worn, tight jeans hung onto slim hips. His face was perfectly angular. Chocolate brown hair fell into his eyes, but he paid it no mind.
“You know that good girls don’t smoke?” He asked. I pursed my lips, thinking he was another drunk guy trying to get lucky.
“Then I’m not a good girl, am I?” I asked with a small half smile.
“You looked like it.” He said. I took another drag on my cigerette before replying.
“Well, looks are deceiving, aren’t they?” I asked sweetly. He chuckled, a light, chiming sound.
“I’m William.” He said.
“Rebecca.” I replied. He smiled, and put his beer bottle on the counter. I turned back to my drink, thinking our conversation was over.
“Do you always drink alone?” William asked. I turned back towards him.
“Always.” I said, “Me’n’Nate are the only two of our friends who are drinking age.” I pointed Nate out, “he’s the grumpy one behind the bar.”
“Are you drunk?” William asked. I shook my head.
“I never get drunk.” I said with a little giggle, “I just let people believe I’m drunk. Makes life more fun.” William raised one eyebrow. I looked into his eyes again, “have a problem with that?” I asked.
“You are eccentric.” He said. I nodded, although I didn’t know what that word meant.
“Right.” I said. I pushed my glass away, it was empty. I slung my bag over my shoulder, “it was nice meeting you.”
“Going?” William said, “I hope you aren’t drinking and driving.”
“Sweetie, this is NYC,” I said, “I’m not drinking and driving. I’m taking a cab.” William smiled slowly. I stood up and waved. He caught my arm and pulled me back, gently pressing his lips to mine.
His lips were soft and sweet, a mix of my cigarette and his beer. It was wonderful, but it wasn’t me. I pulled away and walked out the door, my mind reeling.
I'm seeing a recurring pattern here. So the speech grammar of this is wrong. You see, don't worry I also just figured this out, when ever you have an ending to a sentence (past the end quotation mark) the words to come are not a beginning but a continuation. As pointed out in red, the first letter after the speech must be in lower case no matter the quotation mark. Though, this is an exception to those words that must have a capital letter eg. names.
Another thing, this is rather short though it still does give off the same effect as a long one. Great job, keep writing! I cannot wait for the next adition of your work.
