Do you imagine dreams?

Do you imagine dreams? Or
are they potent with reality?

Ask the stars: they say that
nightmares empower
and that dreams are misunderstood,
spread like violence. (They claw
beneath my eyes: the colors,
the power, vivid like summer.)

The stranger in my life, the prodigy,
the Gollum in my eyes,
senseless with insomnia,
takes a dive into vast passion
with an empty heart.

Can we begin again--
grounded, alone, feeling nothing?

Frozen in time, intoxicated,
shedding memories and
promises into the snow,
two hands regret the becoming of me.

-----

Be as harsh as you want; I've only written this in the last hour.

Hello there clarakingofsnow
Hmmm...well, to be honest I'm a little dissapointed; I don't know, you had my hope so high when I got to "ask the stars". I kind of thought it was going to have more imagination and passion and imagery than what you delivered. It's not that bad but not enough either. Maybe you should leave out the first stanza with the question and maybe start like this

They say that
nightmares empower
and that dreams are misunderstood,
spread like violence.
Ask the stars;
Dreams claw
beneath my eyes: the colors,
the power, vivid like summer.

It's not that great either but it's just a suggestion.

Not a bad poem though; great idea, it just loses momentum as it continues, but that's just me.
Keep writing and good job

Thanks, Ziggiefred. I agree with what you're saying. I'll get back to you when I've edited it some more.

ClaraKingofSnow

I love the thought of your poem and the ideas you worked in. My only thoughts are, you might be able to add your question into the poem some how and work on structure a little more, but I liked what you have so far. If you add more imagination and edit a little more, this would probably be an awesome poem. Nice work, keep writing!!

~Allison

Just saying that the three forums below are: Do you + Imagine... + Dreams.

Insperation maybe?

nova wrote:Just saying that the three forums below are: Do you + Imagine... + Dreams.

Insperation maybe?

Yeah, I learned a technique kind of like that at a writing camp a couple years ago. The original prompt was that we should use existing lines of poetry to create our own poem. It's a way for me to get back in the swing of things. I haven't really been writing regularly.

Oh, no, dont put yourself down about it.
It's good to use anything and everything to create insperation as long as you dont just copy it all for word by word.
This is a really good poem anyway so obviously technique works! I might just use it!

nova.