I don't know why it won't let me indent my paragraphs. There are indentations in the original that I pasted in. Help?
I'm not quite done this section yet, I don't think. I'm just not sure what should happen next.
Willa curled up in the hospital bed, facing the wall. The last of her long, thin, hair draped of her face. Her frame almost suffocated itself, lost beneath the fabric of the foam-colored hospital gown overflowing over her. Willa gazed deep into the wall, her sight untouched by emotion.
Time ticked by slowly. The room tipped over at every angle, as if it was being balanced only atop a pin. Willa held tightly onto the edge of the bed with her arm in order to save herself if she started to slide off towards the black hole beneath her feet. And although her throat was thickly filled with terror, she made no effort to move away.
Willa groaned and turned onto her stomach. She looked like a snake, lying there; completely straight, flat with her seemingly twisted limbs and bones jutting off in unnatural angles, as if she was just started learning how to position herself. Her stomach was churning. They said she was dehydrated and exhausted. She couldn’t bring herself to sleep and refused everything they offered her. She could hear hospital staff outside of her room talking, but after everything that happened she wasn’t sure if they were just another hallucination.
Willa rolled onto her side again. Her sockets looked too large, as if someone had pulled each eye out and let them shrivel in the sun for a while. Her lips were parched and dry, and the rips along the edges were shallow and scabbed.
The door slyly crawled inward and through it stepped a tall nurse with short, sandy hair. Beside her stood Julia, covered in a long trench-coat, which was really not that long but due to her squished shape it almost reached the floor. Julia’s darkly shaded face was blank and spotted with drying, stale tears. Her thin fingers were loose strings tangled together, forming small, unbreakable knots. Willa recognized that Julia’s nerves were being ripped and pulled in each direction. The two girls just stared at each other for a while. Julia’s lip twitched, holding back tears and her laced fingers rested on her stomach.
A heavy hum filled Willa’s ears as she observed the doctor briefing Julia on her duties as guardian. Julia nodded the same impatient, flustered nod at the end of each thought, but her eyes remained fixed on Willa’s pale, sharp legs protruding from the heavy blanket. Willa’s breath puffed in and out in sharp, distracting bursts.
The hospital staff led Willa, wrapped in her garments from the incident, out to Julia’s car. Willa whimpered as the engine began to roar, but not a single tear left her eye. Her lips parted only slightly to release and retrieve air. Toying with the car-door handle Willa valiantly fought back the miserable stillness filling the vehicle. Each loud noise which erupted from pulling back and releasing the handle evenly distributed the silence in a practiced beat. As the car drew nearer, the insufferable beats from the back seat became louder and faster, as if to scare the destination further away. The road to Julia’s house was thick, lined with deep greenery and shrouded by the ever dimming daylight which carefully followed them to their objective before disappearing.
Staring at the back of Julia’s seat, Willa wondered what her old friend’s reaction had been when she received the phone call from the hospital. She wondered if her friend was crying, her hands held tightly to the wheel, but not a sound came from the front of the compact, cherry red car.
Willa unhooked her seatbelt and lay across the back seat. She could feel the road swerving through her back and with each hill the little, red car climbed gravity pulled her downward. A seasick tide rushed up through her veins and back down again, lapping at her ear drums and fingertips.
Julia could see her house up ahead, the little, red car let out a few, stubborn puffs and accelerated towards the small opening in the trees. The road became bumpier, and with the sudden speed Willa flew up an inch off the seat and hit her head on the car door.
The small opening led them into a long street with rows of light blue houses lining its edges. Most of the houses had empty flagpoles and white shudders, but occasionally dark blue shudders and a star-spangled banner could be spotted in the maze of fresh, green lawns, spring flowers and the streams of light that bounced of the sky blue structures.
Willa sat up, rubbing her head and stared out the window counting the number of houses they passed and estimating the length of the street. She contemplated asking Julia why she lived in such a dull place, but she stubbornly decided that her emergency contact was not worth her words.
Finally they came to a complete stop. Julia opened the car door, pulled her keys out of the ignition, released her seatbelt and slid herself out of the car onto the asphalt of her driveway. Willa sat back in her chair and stared straight ahead. She heard the click of the door beside her opening and light breathing next to her. She felt Julia’s cold, green eyes on her face.
Willa’s eyes rotated to gaze at the tiny person looming over her. “What?”
Julia stepped back to the end of the car door and swept her hand from her waist height up in the direction of the house.
“I’m not getting out if that’s what you’re asking.”
Julia rolled her eyes and muttered an obscenity under her breath. She stomped one foot then her chin rolled down to meet her chest. She turned her head back towards Willa.
The girls held eye contact. Willa shook her head. Julia’s eyes grew frustrated, she rubbed her fingers through her hair, pulling it all back, and looked up towards the sky. Without a word she stepped back and slammed the car door and walked into the house.
Julia’s home was much larger than Willa’s one room apartment, for it included two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a TV room. The house had quaint, lightly colored walls and very clean wooden floors. There were books on every known subject strewn around just about everywhere and each room had its own theme, as demonstrated by the unnecessary amount of adorable and excessive animal shaped objects. Her kitchen was filled with mouse shaped cooking utensils and dishes with trademark, cat ears protruding from the top to serve as homes for dipping sauces. Julia’s room was dotted with floral patterns and painting, with a mirror stretching an entire wall, right across from her bed, which opened into a closet. Julia, who held a mediocre telemarketer job, was able to keep up this house all by herself because of a large amount of inheritance she had received during her junior year of college. But the inheritance was starting to dry up, as Julia’s closet sped towards its full capacity.
Julia was prepared to make the bed in the second bedroom, which had pastel green walls, a lightly colored bed, with heavy floral blankets piled on top and hardwood floors. Julia went to the guest bedroom and began preparing it for Willa, keeping a close eye on the clock. She hoped Willa was not observant enough to realize that she hadn't taken her eyes off the scars that jutted out from Willa's neglected, rough lips.
The girls had not seen each other in some time, and Julia must have forgotten how committed Willa was to being stubborn and making a point. Willa stayed in that car the entire first night of her stay, and Julia could tell you this with confidence because the car almost never left her sight. She stood by the window from when they arrived until early the next morning, rationing a single cup of coffee so she would not have to leave for more. Julia learned that watching people was not the easiest task, and she rejoiced that Willa was always in one compact place. But even inside the car, Willa was a lot harder to track than expected, since she would disappear in the nooks and crannies of the car often, and the sight of her papery white body against the dark backdrop of night would give any sane person nightmares.
The red car was no place for anyone to live, for any amount of time. Willa had watched a few movies where people lived in cars but, to the dismay of all young children and adults with a natural suspension of disbelief, none of those had prepared her at all. The first thing she realized what that the car was far too small for someone to sleep. Even though she was considerably short and scrawny, she had trouble fitting her head and legs on the backseat at the same time.
Next, she realized that Julia had taken the keys. It was a hot night, the kind that starts off every summer with a bang. The air inside the car was fitting of a sauna, and the humidity was beckoning all of the moisture in her body to the surface. Without the keys Willa couldn’t open the windows to breathe fresh air. She could feel her lungs filling up with the sopping bursts of heat. She was able to fix the problem by opening the door every once in a while.
The worst problem that she faced was her complete and utter boredom. Willa had spent long hours alone before, she lived alone after all. She would tell you that she didn’t mind being alone as long as there was something to do, but in the tiny red car at two in the morning there were no options. She had tried singing to herself, but she had never known many songs and very few came to mind. She ripped the seams of the front seat and honked the horn to the tune of commercial jingles. She slipped her hands between each cushion, searching for any small object she could toy with. She found a penny below the seat and a pen in the glove box, as well as several miscellaneous maps of places Julia had never been.
First she tried to deface Abraham Lincoln, but the pen didn’t work on the copper. And after drawings mustaches and various obscenities all over the maps of Paris, Moscow and Florence she matured to a larger canvas. Finally, her boredom was quenched. Her pen was running out of ink and her eyes were drooping closed when she finally finished her masterpiece: a very detailed picture of a certain male extremity that stretched across the entire back seat. She smiled in triumph and hid the pen under the cushion.
She tried to stretch out like a cat, but her hands slipped beneath her. With her arms hanging loosely over the back seat of her old friend’s car, Willa fell asleep.
Julia’s open jaw almost toppled her forwards. She cursed under her breath and threw her binoculars to the floor. Julia knew she had all the power to stop the vandalism from taking place, but she would not let Willa defeat her in this battle of extremely, stubborn forces. She could hardly see much of the portrait, but she saw enough to draw the correct conclusion.
Julia jogged down the stairs and went to the kitchen. She rested her elbows on the counter top, holding her forehead. What had she gotten herself into?
Willa had always been over-the-top with her actions, but what some people would call inconsiderate Willa would call fair. Julia could imagine the fight they would have if she brought the picture up. Willa would bring up that she was in a very unstable place and Julia was being thoughtless by letting her stay in the car by herself. She didn’t even press Willa to get out; she just closed the door and walked away.
Willa had acted out in every situation she could, always sitting quietly in the corner of the table, carving curses in the wood and playing with the candle closest to her. Julia went to the fridge, reminiscing about all the times Willa did something risky, rude, unnecessary or exaggerated, and when she once had found it amusing instead of disturbing. Julia paced around the first floor, from the kitchen to the TV room and to the office and back, for two hours. The sun was rising when she returned and started putting together a breakfast for her captive.
The sun shined through the windows and into Willa’s eyes. She stirred and groaned, turning onto her side and digging her face into her arms. There was a knocking on the window, and she looked up to find Julia holding a plate. She ignored her and shut her eyes.
The door swung open.
“Morning sunshine.”
Willa ignored her.
“Can I sit down?” Julia received no response. Julia was sure to keep her eyes away from Willa's scars, and stationed them on Willa's hands, which sat piled on top of each other on her lap. She lowered the plate to Willa’s eye level, “It’s just a cheddar omelet and toast. I’m supposed to give you square meals, you know, with vegetables and protein or whatever. But this whole thing came as a surprise. I’ll have to swing by the supermarket later, but this is all I’ve got for now.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Bullshit.” Willa looked up and glared. Julia sighed and closed the door. She walked around the back of the car and opened the opposite door. Forcibly lifting and bending Willa’s legs she found herself a seat with the plate resting on her lap. Willa’s eyes drifted across the car to the plate and surprised herself, noticing that one of the cat ear ditches at the end of the plate had the last remaining crumbs and dust of a package of granola. She was almost offended by the effortless nibble before her.
“There is no way that’s real,” she said, turning her attention to the omelet, which resembled a pile of lazily constructed, yellow foam.
“What?”
“That’s the ugliest egg I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re right, I’ve failed you. Here, let’s go back in the house so you can supervise the preparation.”
Willa smirked and sat up. She took the fork from atop the molded, yellow goo. “Are your eggs still good?” She looked at Julia to humor her, but her companion just pushed the plate in her direction.
Willa rolled her head around her neck and rested it against the seat.
Julia pulled the plate back towards her, giving up. “We could always go out to breakfast, but I can’t guarantee it will be any better.”
“Like, where?”
“There’s a diner not too far from here.”
“What’s it called?”
Julia groaned, “Who cares, Willa?”
Willa bit her lip. The wounds around her mouth began to shine as if they were fresh.
Julia tried to calm her frustration, “Moe’s. It’s called Moe’s.”
Willa looked down at the plate at the jiggling mess and back up at Julia. She grabbed the seat belt and pulled it tight against her body, clicking it into place. Julia smiled and let herself out of the car, circled the perimeter again and entered the driver’s seat. The little car began to puff and sputter, slowly crawling out of the driveway and accelerating when they reached the street. Willa tossed the plate and its contents out the car window as they quickly approached the gateway to the main road. The sound of glass breaking could be heard through the weary, absent neighborhood.
Julia peered over her menu at Willa, who busied herself ripping up her napkin. Moe’s was loud and crowded. People were packed into the small diner, almost piled on top of each other. Customers rose from the sea of faces to take a gasp of air as needed. The girls sat in a claustrophobic corner, surrounded at each side. The waitresses struggled past tables in the maze, sweating from the heat despite being covered by only a “50s style” miniskirt and button up shirt. Sweat and cigarettes wafted around Julia’s nostrils.
“Do you still smoke?” Julia asked, lowering her menu to the table.
Willa stabbed two holes in another napkin and held it up to her eyes; she grasped her butter knife in her free hand and began jabbing Julia’s hand.
Julia rolled her eyes and guessed, “I don’t have any money for you sir. Please spare me, I’m a family man.”
Willa stopped and dropped her weapon in disappointment, “No. I’m a knight.”
“Why would a knight need a mask?”
“It wasn’t a mask. It was a helmet.”
“It wasn’t very convincing.”
“I would have gone with the mugger idea if your opening line wasn’t so stupid.” Willa crumbled up her napkin and took a sip of her orange juice, “What are you getting me?”
“I was going to get one of the omelets, one with vegetables and cheese, yogurt and their heartiest oatmeal with raisins.”
“I don’t know if I can eat all that.”
“Sucks.”
“The omelet had better come out perfect, for your sake.”
Willa leaned her face on her hand, each of her cuts seemed to stretch and spread across her cheek. Julia looked away awkwardly and then back at her menu.
“Do you still smoke, Willa?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Cause if you don’t then you won’t start and if you do you’re stopping right now.”
Willa distracted her mind from the conversation. She wedged the knife under her fingernail, digging out the dirt.
Julia pressed on, “Is that understood?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I’m serious, Willa. Promise me that you won’t touch another cigarette, at least as long as you’re staying with me.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, what?”
“Will you just shut up already? This is idiotic.”
Julia leaned over the table, “Promise.” She held out her palm to add the final touch to this forced agreement.
Willa rolled her eyes and gripped the limp, yet confident, appendage, “I promise I won’t touch another cigarette, as long as I live. With you.”
The edges of Julia’s mouth turned upward slightly, created a subtle, soft, genuine smile, the kind of expression you could tell was authentic because no creases appeared in her glowing cheeks. Willa tried to conjure a half-smile to return, but her lips were still bitter and frozen shut since the promise had escaped them.
The food arrived, and the heat dripped and crawled out, to run its hands along the girls’ skin. Willa’s meal circled her like a group of vultures, preparing to strike and rip at her thin meat when her form sunk into itself, leaving no surviving morsel to identify. She lifted her fork and slipped it into the omelet, the stench of meat and cheese hid at the edge of her mouth. She cut herself a small chunk of its flesh and, holding her nose, lifted it into her mouth. Julia followed the shape as it slid down the figure’s long, winding throat.
“Is it good?” She asked, finishing the final bite of her first of three pancakes.
“It’s fine, I guess.” Willa concluded, shoveling in another piece.
“Do you want to go somewhere else?”
“That would be ridiculous.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Julia sighed, “Don’t be dismissive. Answer the question.”
“No. I want to stay here.”
Willa took another bite. Julia pushed her scrambled eggs around in circles. “So, why’d you do it?”
“What?”
“Take all those pills or whatever.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know why you tried to kill yourself.” Julia’s eyebrows dipped in towards her nose.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“How can you not know?”
“Because I don’t remember, okay? I hardly remember taking them. I hardly remember last week.” Willa’s stance was suddenly aggressive, she leaned over the table and her fork lifted to parallel Julia’s face. Julia moved backwards in an instant, grabbing the edge of her chair for support.
“Well there is always a reason for suicide, Willa. It’s part of our nature as human beings to want to preserve our existence. Something must have been wrong.”
“Don’t try to act like you give a shit.”
“Just answer the question. Here I am, sheltering and feeding you and keeping you from having another slip-up. I’m keeping you alive. I’m practically your mother.”
Willa lowered her fork, her eyes growing larger, almost angry, but her voice remained low, “Because the first thought I had on this planet, when I looked out at the hospital room, was not ‘Why, this place is pretty swell. Maybe I’ll stay a while.’”
“Yeah, but I doubt many babies just pop out wanting to leave.”
“I doubt many babies can just pop out.”
“Maybe I’m not cut out to be a mother.” Julia pretended to laugh to lighten the mood, “It’s nice seeing you. Well, not in this condition, but in general. It’s been a while.”
“Has it?” Willa stirred her orange juice with a straw. Her anger subsiding slightly, leaving trace amounts of sarcasm.
“You’re just as much of a smart ass as I remember.”
“It’s not my fault you don’t understand the miracle of birth.”
“And you’re relatively pleasant today, which is a change. The people at the hospital told me you’d probably just want to stay home and stare at the wall.”
“That’s most likely because I’m not craving a cigarette just yet. Later I’ll be abysmal.”
“Good word. Maybe you’re just in denial about the incident?”
“What incident?”
“Funny. About when will you start wanting one?”
“Likely right after we eat.”
“Then we’ll have to get home quickly. Anything in particular you want to do tonight?”
“I’m too tired to do anything really. I think I’ll just sleep for a few hours.”
Willa stirred her yogurt. A soft shade of pink arose from the dull white paste. She scraped her heaping spoonful against the side of the cup to level it. Her fingers clasped her nostrils again, and a moment of panic flashed in Willa’s eyes, as it touched her yellowing teeth.
“How about some bigger bites, Gandhi. I don’t want to be here all day.”
Willa sucked her cheek between her teeth, not looking up from her food.
“Sorry, Will.”
Willa pushed her food towards Julia’s side of the table. The bowl of oatmeal skidded of the skinny table and shattered onto the floor. “Can we go?”
“What the fuck? I said sorry.” Julia shrieked.
“Can we please just go,” The girl began to shake, although her monotone voice was hardly loud enough to move her unearthly form.
Julia sighed, her pupils shifting with frustration, her voice softened “You took too bites.”
“Just pay the check and drive me back.”
“Is this because you’re craving a cigarette?”
Willa stood up from her seat, knocked the rest of her food to the floor, and headed for the door, shutting out the conversation.
Julia’s fingers twitched, a tear hardly made it to her eyelid before she blinked it all away. She dropped a fifty on the table and shot for the door.
When Julia had reached the outside, Willa was still walking to the car, her speed slowing. Her ominous fist clasped tightly around Willa’s lanky arm. She pressed all of her force into Willa’s skeletal limb. The girl’s papery body practically floated to the car, fluttering in a struggle the entire way. Willa could feel her arm burning, unprotected by her dirtied clothing from the calamity, still clinging to her back.
Despite her thrashing, Julia managed to hurl Willa into the back of the car. The door to the driver’s seat slammed shut and the car skidded into the street.
“Why must you always fucking embarrass me, Will? Why does it have to be like this? Grow the fuck up. You’re too old to be making scenes like this. You’re such a child.” Julia’s driving was reckless. Willa was tossed from side to side across the backseat. Her face remained a strained, frustrated scowl. Her hair covered her face.
Julia slammed her palms hard against the steering wheel, “Fuck, fuck, fuck. You selfish, little shit. Would it make you happy, huh? If I just swerved into oncoming fucking traffic? Fuck you, Willa. Fuck you. Have another fucking cigarette. Fuck up your lungs for all I care.”
Her anger boiled up into her brain. Furious words began building, forming into sentences and speeches. Tears welled up in her lids. She released groaning screams, one after another into the palm of one hand. Black clots streamed down her dark face. The loud thump of the handle being pulled erupted again through the vehicle.
“And don’t you fucking start that again or I’ll kill you myself.” Julia gritted her teeth and released another scream. A breath of fresh are flew at her neck. Her eyes widened. She swerved off and the tiny car tumbled into the wooded area beside the busy street. Her entire body turned around to discover the empty back seat and the open door. The smell of gasoline circled the car when it's fragile front lurched and cracked against tree trunk.
