Balloon

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I wrote this completely on a whim -- it took me no more than fifteen minutes -- so don't expect it to be marvelous.

Red latex hides behind spindly branches
Latex that once did not hang so sadly --
That once was beheld by beaming child
And parents happy to have a family.

Red latex sags, deflated by weather
Latex, once pleasing in ovular shape
Floating delightedly with helium innards
Soon unanchored by physics-intrigued child

Red latex withers, wrinkled with age
Once a glowing fragile face
Now elderly, waiting to die
An everyday example of corruption at its best




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Hello there
Thought I'd do the honors! :)
Anywho, this was an interesting approach to a poem. I liked the reference of the balloon to real life. I was distracted though by the repetition of "red latex". Maybe you should leave it out in the second stanza and start with "It", or something. But I think you did a pretty good job. Thought provoking. I really enjoy poems that make me think.
Good job
The best is what you make it!

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I really appreciate the input; this is just a poem in the works. By the way, I absolutely love your icon -- Jimi Hendrix is the best rockstar of all time.




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Red latex hides behind spindly branches
Latex that once did not hang so sadly
--That once was beheld by beaming child
And parents happy to have a family.
Red latex sags, deflated by weather
Latex, once pleasing in ovular shape
Floating delightedly with helium innards
Soon unanchored by physics-intrigued child
Red latex withers, wrinkled with age
Once a glowing fragile face
Now elderly, waiting to die
An everyday example of corruption at its best

this is very nice and innocent like almost a child talking sp its hit the spot where i am right now and thats very nice and sweet but other wise you need a little more detail and more imagary
love is not what you can hold its what you feel in your heart for the ones you love




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This one made me giggle to myself,
Soon unanchored by physics-intrigued child


I always see those stray balloons in the ceilings of stores that little kids have let go of and you painted that picture perfectly!
Brilliant poem about an everyday wonder! Keep writing!
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.



Writing is the geometry of the soul.
— Plato