Almost There

Introduction
It probably wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. I should've waited for him to slow down. But all I knew was that I had to get away from him ASAP. While he was screaming at me about God know's what, I opened the door... and jumped. I rolled, the rough gravel exfoliating my skin. Luckily, there were no cars around, and no way would that self centered prat come back for me, so I was safe. I slowly stood up, my whole body pulsing in pain. I grit my teeth and limped on to the sidewalk. Where the hell was I? I looked around for a street sign. Cloverbank Street. There's a park nearby, isnt there? I scanned the darkness and found a shimmer of a swingset. I trudged towards the playground, curled up underneath the curly slide, and cried my eyes out. It was three a.m., I needed band-aids, I'm pretty sure my arm was broken, and I left my phone in my most-likely-ex-boyfriend. I pulled my dirty hair out of my face, and started thinking about what went wrong, when exactly the shit hit the fan...

Hiya, HelloKittyFreak! SporkPunk here. (I really love Hello Kitty too!)

Grammar.
I couldn't find anything outstanding, except for this part:

and I left my phone in my most-likely-ex-boyfriend.

I'm assuming you didn't actually mean that, I just wanted to point out how it doesn't make sense. xD

I slowly stood up, my whole body pulsing in pain. I grit my teeth and limped on to the sidewalk. Where the hell was I? I looked around for a street sign. Cloverbank Street. There's a park nearby, isnt there? I scanned the darkness and found a shimmer of a swingset. I trudged towards the playground, curled up underneath the curly slide, and cried my eyes out.

Here, you do a lot of telling rather than showing. When writing, in order to hook the reader's interest, you need to work on describing events through showing. A little tweaking and playing around with sentence structure can fix that. Also, you start off a lot of sentences with "I." Try switching up structures, because the "I" repetition tends to dull the reader's interest.

Story
I'm interested. Overall, though very short, this piece managed to pique my interest, and I'm curious to find out what happens next. Good job! Since this is only an intro, I won't say anything about characters and plot, since they're virtually unknown as of yet.

I apologize for the short review, but I think I covered everything major, since your piece was quite short.

Keep writing!
~Sporks

P.S. If you have questions, feel free to PM me about them.

Hello.

My first complaint is your sentence structure. It stays the same, and the same sentence structure gets boring after awhile. I'd also suggest brushing up on when to create a new paragraph; right now, you have several short ones in here. To make this easier to follow, I'd have each idea be its own paragraph. Then we can keep track of every idea more easily, and this won't run together as much.

Onto the characters, I had a hard time connecting with your MC. There's no introspective thoughts on her situation, just "this happened, and that happened, and this hurts." We're not told how it hurts, how she feels about the situation going on, or anything of the sort. It's like the MC is a spectator of her own life, which is alright for third person but not first. With first person, you have the perfect opportunity to provide the character's inner life. And you're not really taking it the way you're skimming over the character's reaction to the situation.

The ending of the work, though, sort of worked. It provided a hook to continue reading, without giving too much away. But the lead-up to that hook wasn't really effective.

Overall, I'd work on making the MC sympathetic. Once you've created a connection with the reader, then the story will flow better and people will be more inclined to stick with it.

Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions.

~Rosey

Hiya Hellokittyfreak777. There isn't much to say when others have said things already. well I like how you jump into the story but... It seems kind of vauge. I'm pretty interested though. Anyway, I just have one small spelling/grammar thing to cover:

HelloKittyFreak777 wrote: isn't there?

A comma goes there.
Overall I am looking forward to seeing the next chapter.
~Ladypurple.