Choices

Walking down a darkened street,
I find the place where two roads meet.
To the left is bright and cheery.
To the right, dark and dreary.

Frozen in time, I glance from left to right.
I do prefer dark to sunlight.
But so many go the other way,
the problem being, I want to stay.

I take one step toward the light,
and appears a man twice my height.
All he says is, "Left or right?"
I simply turn around,
and head back into the night.

Hi, I'm Freak.
I really like this poem. It's is fairly realistic and easy to relate to. Good beginning that grasps the readers attention pretty much automatically.

Nitpicks:

To the left is bright and cheery.
To the right, dark and dreary.

I really like this stanza and it is a good "introduction" to the main choices in the poem. But the fact that the second line doesn't include the "is" kind of caught me off guard. Just wanted you to keep that in mind.

Frozen in time, I glance from left to right.
I do prefer dark to sunlight.
But so many go the other way,
the problem being, I want to stay.

Here is where it starts to get confusing. So many questions come up now: "Why do you prefer dark? Then, "Where are you? To clarify, I mean that at first you are talking about making one choice or the other, so doesn't that mean you're in the middle? Which side are you on? What's the other way most people choose(because we don't know where you are! )?

take one step toward the light,
and appears a man twice my height.
All he says is, "Left or right?"
I simply turn around,
and head back into the night.

What is the point of this; what is so significant about this man and why does he stop you from heading the way you chose?

Anyway, this is a very good poem that only needs some small clarifications and more information. Good job though and keep on writing.

~ CreativeFreak,
'cause I'm cool like that (not).

The rhyme in this felt obviously forced. I could tell that you used words for just for the sake of rhyming them, jamming in other words in the lines to try and make them fit. As a result, this poem felt very jerky and did not flow well.

Another thing that disrupted the flow was the meter. Snoink has written an article about metering and rhyme that I think you might find helpful.

As far as the content goes, due to the forced rhymes, you've got lines that are redundant or don't make sense. In addition, you were lacking imagery, which made this poem vague and generic. In other words, this poem wasn't memorable at all, especially since this is a common subject for poetry, especially from teenagers.

I suggest, since the rhyme really does more harm than help to this poem, that you try rewriting it without a rhyme. In addition, try to incorporate more imagery. Try describing to us exactly why the night is so appealing without using common turns of phrase. Basically, if you've heard something described that way before, don't use that description; instead, focus on showing us something in a way you've never heard it described before but makes perfect sense to you so that the readers can see it that way too.

Right now, this poem is really bland. It's not bad, but it's not good; just bland.

Hey,

The rhyming does feel forced, however I don't think this piece would work without it to be honest. It has a nice touch to it, because rhyming is meant to be light hearted and happy, whilst this obviously isn't which i like. So i would recommend not removing the rhyme, but that may just be me.

~Retro Disco666

I really like this poem:)

Walking down a darkened street,
I find the place where two roads meet.
To the left is bright and cheery.
To the right, dark and dreary.

I really like this opening stanza. It introduces your ideas and what the poem is about!

Frozen in time, I glance from left to right.
I do prefer dark to sunlight.

Just being picky, I think you need to work on the rhythm of these lines, they don't quite flow.