Drown- Chapter One

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So, here we are, chapter one. If you haven't read the prologue yet, you can do that here- viewtopic.php?t=66021

***


Calgary, Alberta, Present Day


Blossom Eliza sighed, staring out of her bedroom window at the gray and gloomy sky. It had been raining for three days now with only short breaks. Blossom wasn’t even sure it was summer anymore- there was no sun for evidence. Even worse, no one had called her for at least a week, mostly because all of her friends were a million miles away on vacation in hot tropical countries.

Blossom turned to stare at her empty white bedroom walls, and then down to her drawing book that was at the foot of her bed, almost lost under dishes, clothes, pencils, books, and whatever else was scattered across her floor. She moved gracefully over to it and opened to the first page. It was almost like a title page, simple with the words “Blossom’s Art” and a drawing of a blooming flower.

Blossom flipped through the pages, admiring her work. Some of the pictures were simple drawings of items in her room that she had made while bored, but others were detailed pictures of animals. Some, even, were gorgeous anime girls with out-of-this-world hairstyles.

She threw her book back onto the ground and sat at her drawing desk. She reached behind the wooden desk and pulled out a piece of poster paper that she had bought for a school project but ended up not using. Maybe she could use her time somewhat productively to draw some pictures to put on her walls.

She started with the basic outline of the picture, which only took her around half an hour to do. A simple cat sitting on the front porch of an old creepy house. Next, she started shading and adding the finer details and ended up getting so into the drawing that she didn’t even hear her mother enter the room.

“I wish you would draw some things a little less...dark.” Blossom jumped at her mother’s voice and spun in the chair.

“I wish you would knock before you came in.” Blossom replied, watching her mom gather clothes into a basket.

“Well sorry for doing your laundry. You know, most girls your age have to do it themselves. You should be grateful that I spare you the effort.” Her mom picked up a black tank top. “Look at this! Black, black, and more black! Don’t you every get tired of the colour? And any clothes of yours that aren’t black are covered in skulls, blood, or some other symbol of death. This was not how I imagined having a daughter would be.”

“Well sorry to disappoint you.” Blossom said, turning back around. Her and her mother had only started fighting two years earlier after a horrible accident had claimed the life of her father. After that, the fighting had evolved on its own, turning to constant arguments about the way Blossom dressed.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Blossom heard her mother come up behind her, and then her mother’s hand rested on her shoulder. Blossom ignored her mother and continued her drawing. Her mom stood there for a few more seconds before she sighed and went back to the basket.

“Well, dinner is in a couple of minutes, so you should probably get cleaned up and ready.” Blossom heard her bedroom door shut softly.

Blossom finished the part of the cat she had been working on and pushed back her chair with a sigh. She picked up a small framed picture from her desk and looked at it. It was of her and her best friend, Janie, on a vacation they had taken together to the Bahamas. In the background you could see Blossom’s mom (who had been pregnant with Blossom’s younger sister, Abby, at the time) and dad holding hands on the beach, but the main part of the picture were the two thirteen year old girls standing arm in arm, smiles stretching right across their faces. Blossom was the girl on the left, with long black hair that was teased at the back. She was wearing a pair of 3D glasses with the lenses pushed out, a black Metallica tank top, and a black skirt with studs and chains.

Janie, on the right, had her hair longer than Blossom’s and dyed blond. She had a bull ring and her right ear was pierced all the way up with fourteen rings. She was wearing a tight black dress that had bright red paint splatters across it. Both girls looked so happy.

Blossom thought back to the day that had started out the best day of her life, but had ended up being the worst. They had gone back to the hotel, but her dad had decided to go on an airplane tour over the water. Everyone else was too tired from the day’s activities, so it ended up just being her dad going. The next morning, her dad wasn’t there. He hadn’t come back to the hotel all night, and he hadn’t called. They tried calling his cell phone, but it was unavailable. No one knew what had happened, but her dad, the pilot, and the plane had all disappeared. There was no wreckage to be found in the water, and nothing washed up on shores. They had gone home a week later, weighed down with grief.

Blossom put the picture back onto the desk and went downstairs for dinner, holding back the tears that she was sure were coming. When she got to the dining room, the food was already on the table and her mother was getting Abby into her high chair.

Blossom sat down and piled food onto her plate. Neither Blossom nor her mother said anything, but Abby was babbling meaningless words and giggling. Abby shut up and began eating her food as soon as it was on her plate, though, and the only sound was of knives and forks scraping against the plates.

“So,” Blossom’s mom broke the silence, “I was talking to Aunt Poppy on the phone today.”

Blossom rolled her eyes. “What did that crazy old witch have to say?”

“Blossom! Be nice! Just because my sister believes in things you don’t believe in, doesn’t mean she’s crazy!” Blossom’s mother stared at her angrily. Yeah, Blossom thought, you didn’t have to spend the weekend with her and have your future read fifty times, and you also didn’t have to help her contact the spirits of the otherworld.

“Anyways,” Blossom’s mother continued, “She just moved to Miami, so I told her that you and I would be more than happy to fly out there next month to help her get her new house set up.”

Blossom stared at her mother, trying to come up with an excuse of why they shouldn’t go. Sure, Miami was supposed to be a great place, but it would be torture if she was out there with just her family.

“How do you plan on paying for it?” Blossom asked.

“Don’t worry about the price. Poppy’s boyfriend offered to pay for all of us. He’s a very wealthy lawyer.”

“And what about Abby?” Blossom asked, glancing at her younger sister who was off in her own world again, giggling and smiling.

“Grandpa Nick said he would babysit her while we’re gone.

“Look, Blossom, I understand that this doesn’t sound like the most exciting trip to go on, which is why I’m letting you bring a friend if you want. Any friend. Just let them know that we’re leaving on August first and won’t be back until the fifteenth.”

“Who’s going to be able to come? Everyone already has plans.”

“What about that nice girl, Janie?”

“Mom, please,” Blossom sighed. “You don’t have to pretend to like Janie. She’s in Germany visiting family all summer, anyway. Brenda’s mom won’t let her do anything so that they can have ‘family bonding time,’ and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let me bring any of my guy friends.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but I guess you’ll just have to go with me alone.” Blossom’s mom looked like she was about to say more, but the phone interrupted her. She stood up and answered. After a few minutes of talking, she said good bye and hung up.

“Good news! You won’t have to go alone anymore,” Blossom’s mom smiled at Blossom. “Angela is coming with us.”

Blossom wondered how on earth her mother thought that her older cousin, Angela, coming made it any better. Blossom and Angela had never gotten along. Ever. Blossom didn’t say anything to her mother about it, though. She just put her dishes in the sink and went up to her bedroom to continue her drawing, slamming the door behind her.
~~DisturbedDisorder~~

I am a little more provocative then you might be..
It's your shock and then your horror on which I feed..
So can you tell me what exactly does freedom mean..?
If I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be..!?

-Divide, Disturbed




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Hey,

I'm quite intrigued into what's going to happen next if I'm being honest.

Let me know when you carry on.

I liked it, it was very descriptive, and the description was good.

Personally I would have her drawing something a little more dark, but that's just my opinion.

PM if you need anything.

~Retro Disco666
'I have loved to the point of madness, which for me is the only true way to love'
~Francoise Sagan




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Not much to crit on language wise. Pacing was good, description was good, and the tension between Blossom and her mother was there but not overdone, so good job on those.

I agree with retro about having her draw something more dark. A cat in front of a creepy house isn't exactly what I'd call very dark, though of course it's relative. I'm interested to know what happened to her dad. You introduced a sense of the supernatural without making it too painfully obvious.

All in all, good work, would like to see more.




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Hello!
I've looked through your piece twice, but there don't seem to be any mistakes that I can point out.
Good job with this piece by the way. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Since this is your first chapter, I know I shouldn't expect to know much about what's going on, but I can't help wanting to know more. I want to see how this story progresses. And as far as I can see, it's going pretty well. :)
I can't wait for your next chapter. PM me when it's out, alright? I'm really interested in how this will turn out.
I might be busy with two major exams though (Sigh.), so I'll try my best to review it.
Seeya 'round! Keep writing.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
- Homer Simpson



“If you come at four in the afternoon, I'll begin to be happy by three.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince