Murder Close To Home ((The ending))

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Hey! Here is the ending. Tell me what you think please! And guess what? I'm entering it in the competition, i'm just going to do it, and if i win, awesome! If not, aw well. Tell me what you think, and if you think i have a chance to win.


**
Going home was one of my least favourite things to do these days. Seeing the way Mike just lounged around the house like he was a king, made me want to strangle him. Today was like any other when I arrived home Mike sat in front of the television a sick twisted smile still lingering at the edges of his mouth.
“Hey there, Katie!” his smile grew more pronounced.
“Mike.” I hissed. He was use to my surly attitude now, but he deserved more than that, much more! As I walked past the phone hanging on the wall, my hand inched towards it. I could imagine the dial tone ringing in my ear; the way the person on the other side of the phone would answer and listen to me talk.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Mike’s voice drifted to me from the couch.
“Shut-up.” I mumbled not loud enough for him to be able to hear, and carried on to my room. The hardest parts of my days are when I am alone, away from the crowded hallways at school, and the usual gossip of people doing stupid things. When I was alone I became the prisoner of my own thoughts. Remembering the way my mum’s wide eyes captured me in hers, the bruises on her neck and arms, and the stab wound. Yet again tears sprung in my eyes, and my heart felt heavy – filled with pain and sorrow.
“KATIE!” I heard Mike yell from the lounge, and his heavy footsteps pounded towards my bedroom. I scrambled off my bed and edged as far away from the door as possible, “Who in the heck is pulling up the driveway?!” the door to my room flung open, and Mike stood there fuming.
“Billy.” I said. As soon as I spoke his name something changed in Mike. His back straightened, his eyes came more alert and shock was written all over his face. Without saying a word, he turned and walked back down the hallway. I stood there for a second trying to understand his reaction, but when I heard talking in the front part of the house I ventured towards them.
“…you will not say anything! You know what I told you, I can do it just like that. Don’t mess with me boy.” Mike was right up in Billy’s terrified face, one hand was balled into a tight fist while the other had Billy’s top clenched together at the collar.
“What are you doing?” i said. Mike jumped back, while Billy smoothed out his top.
“Nothing for you to worry about, Katie.” Mike grinned, “Just having a nice wee chat with Billy here.”
“Right.” I dragged out the word, raising my eyebrows. But I let it go, not letting on that I heard the threat Mike had said. Billy obviously didn’t want to be here anymore, the way he looked at Mike with fear, and how he inched further out the door was a slight hint.
“I’ll be back later.” I told Mike as I practically ran for freedom.
“Wait!” a little whisper of a voice sprouted from behind me. I turned around and saw Harrison hiding half behind the couch, his eyes were red rimmed and he shook when he waved at Billy slightly, “Can I come?”
“No you cannot! You ---“ I cut Mike off.
“Yes he can! C’mon, Harrison.” No way in hell was I leaving him here alone. I wasn’t even aware he had arrived from school yet. Usually he came straight to my room and didn’t leave my side until he had to go to school the next morning. Of course he wasn’t aware that Mike had killed mum, he was just sad about it all, and he wanted to be with his family. Harrison ran to my side, and I grabbed his hand. Billy, Harrison and I all left Mike standing on the doorstep his face one of utter shock.

(Mike)

Billy wasn’t going to be able to keep his mouth shut, Mike knew this. As soon they were far enough away he would blab, tell Katie everything he knew. And after that there was no denying that Katie would run straight to the police. He only had a matter of time. Mike went into his room he use to share with Patricia. All of her things still outlined the duchess, her perfume bottles blocking space, and her clothes hung neatly in the wardrobe. Mike pushed past all of her clothes and grabbed his jacket at the back of the closed in space, he then went back into the living area and pulled out a chair from the dining table. He centred it right in the middle of the doorway – a few metres back – and sat down. How long will it take them to arrive? – He thought. He shrugged, not really caring of the minutes or hours, just glad that they would be coming. He would sit and wait.

(Katie)

I watched my little brother playing on the playground, watched his care free smile as he interacted with the other children. For a little while he could put on a fake smile, an act, and have fun.
“Just spit it out Billy.” I said, watching the way he ringed the bottom of his shirt nervously. After that his words came out in a rush, basically running together in a string of sounds. My head spun and my stomach rolled, imagining the scene he set out in front of me.
“I came looking for you, we had that science project due and I needed your advice on some last adjustments. I thought you would be home, but I forgot you had netball practise on Thursday nights.” He paused taking in a deep breathe, “When I arrived I didn’t see your car, but I didn’t think anything of it. When I got to the door it was already open so I called out and listened to see if anyone was home. I heard voices and they hadn’t seemed to hear me, so I called out again. Again they hadn’t heard so I decided to go in just a bit further.”
“And what happened?” I asked my voice tight. He hadn’t carried on, I tried to earge him to.
“I heard…gagging, “he seemed to choke on the word, “I thought someone might have been sick so I knocked gently on Mike’s and your mum’s bedroom door and pushed it open. He obviously hadn’t heard me knock because when the door was fully open I saw Mike with his hands wrapped firmly around your mum’s neck. I watched him as he brought up his knee, and slammed it into her stomach.”
My eyes were wide with fright and my stomach rolled. I hunched over the edge of the bench we were sitting on and dry-reached, nothing came out of my empty stomach. Billy rubbed my back in slow circular motions.
“Carry on.” I whispered.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I nodded.
“Okay,” he breathed in deeply, and when he let it out words came too, “Your mum saw me first, and then he realised. He was shocked, but not really frightened. It kind of seemed as though he was glad I had seen. He threatened that if I told anyone what I saw, he would kill me. He was close to it then and there, I think. He had the knife right at my throat, pressing down, but your mum told him to stop. For some reason he listened. I didn’t know why he wanted me to keep quiet, if he was happy I knew. I guess he just wanted to be able to hurt other people with the threat of telling the cops. When really all he wanted was the police to find out.” He paused, “Your mum was pregnant.”
My head snapped up and locked on Billy’s face, “She was what?”
“Pregnant.” He said slowly. Everything went quiet, the world seeming to slow down. My hands went clammy, and it seemed as though all I heard was the way my heart hammered. I stood up and faintly heard Billy saying my name, I went and grabbed Harrison from the swing set and hardly heard his complaints. Billy followed me to the car and drove me straight to the police station, seeming to read my mind. The only thing I could concentrate on was that little baby, my little brother or sister. It hadn’t even had a chance to live before it was taken away. Mike had not only killed my mother but also his unborn child.

**
“Don’t worry Katie. We had our suspicions about this, the story didn’t totally fit. Those marks on your mums chest could not have possible been from anything in the car. We found remains of a knife and Mikes finger prints were all over her.” The police officer said after I told him everything and cried my eyes out.
“Okay.” I nodded weakly. I couldn’t think about that now, I could hardly concentrate on his floating words. Billy, Harrison and I all watched him leave. As tears ran freely down my face i knew a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and scarred heart.

(Mike)

They came faster than Mike thought, Katie didn’t muck around. He heard the police cars tires crunch on the gravel leading to the house. A smile lit his face as he stood quietly, his hands behind his back in a formal gesture.
“C’mon in!” he called, when there were three quick knocks on the door.
“Mike Kindler? I pronounce you under arrest for the murder of Patricia Kindler. You have the right to remain silent and anything you say or do will be held against you.” one police officer recited as he grabbed Mike’s hands and handcuffed them behind his back. Mike started to laugh, a low deep sound that grew from the pit of his stomach until it erupted like a volcano out of his mouth.
“Took your sweet time getting here, didn’t you?”
“We’re here now.” He answered.





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Thumbs up, thumbs up, thumbs up! Great job ending this.

My only thing is, character development. Even though it's a short story it doesn't mean you shouldn't add depth to your characters. Hair color, eye color, personality. Make your characters unique.
You're mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I'll tell you a secret; all the best people are




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Thank-you!
And yes, i thought about that when writing it.
:D



When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
— Alexander Den Heijer