Too Late

Depressed
as I wait for a new life to take its place
and rescue me from these
negative thoughts that are growing and destroying
all other thoughts in my head and
building an empire on top of all the fire.
The darkness is taking over.

The negativity spreads
throughout my mind and consumes everything;
the virtuous side is perish.
It takes control!
The darkness is taking over.

I see instead of a reflective mirror in front of me, bodies
on fire and the fire...
Smiling at me. I begin to fall in love and I see the mirror once more.
My eyes are black.
It's hospitable.
It's prodigious.
I'm not vague.
It was never m intention to become insane.
The darkness is taking over.

Its peeling off skin
from my face,neck,chest,stomach,
like a snake shedding. Pain has a legal licence
to do torture, and it starts on me, deepening the
process further for decortication.
The darkness
takes my body as a host
and shows natural form.
The craving has now ended and I
regret wanting it.
It's gotten too much to handle.
The darkness is taking over.

Rescuing
has not come.
The only rescuing is
the new life that awaits me.
When will it come?
Do I want it to come?
But it's too late.I can't think anymore.
The darkness has taken over.

This is a nice poem. It has a nice flow in the story, the stages in which the darkness is consuming you. Then leave people with new questions to think about.
But the thing that bugs me is the size of stanzas and the lines themselves. They all vary in length. At least one of them: the stanzas or lines, should be the same length. Well, lines don't have to match up ALL through the poem but at least through a stanza. So just rearrange your poem a little and it'll be looking pretty good!

This is a nice poem. It has a nice flow in the story, the stages in which the darkness is consuming you. Then leave people with new questions to think about.
But the thing that bugs me is the size of stanzas and the lines themselves. They all vary in length. At least one of them: the stanzas or lines, should be the same length. Well, lines don't have to match up ALL through the poem but at least through a stanza. So just rearrange your poem a little and it'll be looking pretty good!

OK. Thank you for the tip! It was just hard getting it all out with the same stanzas. When I was typing this, I felt there were some things I could take out and make it look like a 'poem'. Thank you!

This is greatt. I love itt. I pictured this in my head as i was reading it. great writing!
-trina