Kitties and Coloring Books

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I wrote this for JFW1415's Epic Contest of Mass Proportion. Enter. It ends at midnight whatever your time is.



“Crap!” Eric hissed, rubbing at his eye.
“What happened?” Emily asked, looking up from her coloring book.
Eric held up the peeled orange. “This stupid fruit happened. I wish you would do this yourself.” He chucked the orange at the sink, watching juice splatter out.
Emily stood up, her blue crayon still clenched tightly in her hand. “I think I’ll just go out and play instead.” She grinned and dropped the crayon. Her tiny feet carried her across the kitchen to the back door, opening it wide. “See, look how nice it is outside.”
Eric glanced out the door. Rain. Torrents of rain were falling hard, smoothing the grass down flat. “Em, you’re not going out there. You’ll get all wet.”
“No I won’t.” She reached up into the coat rack. “I have this!” She held up the neon pink umbrella that their mother had bought for her for her last birthday.
Eric shrugged. Emily was seven now, old enough to get into trouble on her own. “Fine, Em, but if you catch pneumonia, I’m not taking care of you.”
In a matter of seconds, Emily was out the door, the pink umbrella opened wide, her blond curls bouncing enthusiastically.
Eric peeked through the window and watched her for a moment. Her umbrella caught most of the rain, letting it drain off into the grass where her fading red tennis shoes left deep dents in the ground. He shouldn’t have let her go out in the rain, but there wasn’t much use in telling her anything.
Eric ripped open the fridge and pushed aside the warped Tupperware containers until her found the half eaten slice of cherry pie he had started on for breakfast. “Pie for breakfast. What would mom say about that?” he whispered to himself and laughed. “Not that she’ll have to know.”
Swiftly, he snapped the plate out of the fridge, the fork rattling on the plate, and walked over to the table where Emily’s coloring book sat open. “Weird book,” he commented, flipping through the pages of circus imagery. Most of them were blank but to the back he found a finished picture.
Emily was always very particular about her coloring. “Always stay inside the lines. Mommy always says to stay inside the lines,” she would chime while she colored. And he had stayed inside the lines, coloring in the clown who was running away from his shadow, petrified. And underneath the drawing she had scrawled out her name in her clumsy hand-writing.
“Colors perfectly but can’t write her name worth a shit. I’ll never understand her.”
He nibbled at the pie and flipped through the pictures idly until he heard Emily struggling with the door handle. He snapped the book shut and walked back to the sink just as she flung the door open.
“Look what I found!” Her voice cracked into a squeak, followed by a hollow thud as she dropped a yellow tabby cat on the linoleum. “Can we keep him?”
The cat crept around the kitchen table, rubbing up against the rusting metal legs. “Hannah, you do remember that you’re allergic to cats, right? You’d be sneezing the whole time you’re near it.”
Emily’s wiry fingers rubbed at her nose. “No I won’t.” She picked up the cat and cradled it like a baby. “I’m going to call you,” she paused and glanced up at her brother, “Eric.”
Eric just rolled his eyes.
Emily sneezed and set the cat down on the table. “There you go, Eric. Do you want to help me color?”
The cat pawed at the book’s cover.
She smiled. “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”
Last edited by lilymoore on Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Never forget who you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.




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It's so nice to see a happy little story every once in a while! :D
This story was very well written, too! It got a little boring in the middle and I had to focus to read through it. (That may just be because I'm reading it at like 4 a.m. and I'm dead tired) But still, you want to try spicing it up a little.
[quote] “This stupid fruit happened. I wish you would to this yourself.”/quote]
^^ a little awkward. I get what you're saying because I say stuff like that all the time, but it doesn't transfer that well into writing.

Over all I LOVE the story and it's adorable how the little sister is so stubborn in her ways(:
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Nice little short, yet I wonders what is the hell is going on! I mean I just read a piece before this and it had pie, and rainy day, little, and ended will a yellow cat! Am I missing something or just losing my mind eh maybe both.
Anyways I like the typical description between a big brother and little sister you portrayed. Though I can't relate it does feel spot on and at home!
Great work and keep it up lilymoore!
-Dawn
C.Mejia




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Lily! Tehe here's your review.

And he had stayed inside the lines

I think you mean she since it's talking about Emily.

“Hannah, you do remember that you’re allergic to cats, right? You’d be sneezing the whole time you’re near it.”

Do you mean Emily?

Overall it was very cute and you did a good job of showing who the characters where even though it was in a short amount of words. You did a good job incorporating the prompts too, you made them make sense when they were pretty random. Good job. Sorry if that didn't really help.

~peanut~
There is a light in you, a Vision in the making with sorrow enough to extinguish the stars. I can help you.
~And The Light Fades


The people down here are our zombies, who should be dead or not exist but do.
~Away From What We Started


P.S Got YWS?



Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.
— Albus Dumbledore