Melody

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Taylor Swift’s Love Story played around us. He hugged me tightly.
“Melody, I love you.” He, my boyfriend, Jonathan, whispered. I reached up and kissed him.
“Sorry.” I said with a teasing smile, “My other boyfriends out back.” He hit my butt gently.
“Naughty, naughty Mel.” He said. He kissed me again, “It seems like someone needs to learn something.”
“Like what?” I asked. He turned and pushed me gently onto my bed. I landed on my elbows, grinning wildly.
“Like you don’t need anybody but me.” He whispered and began kissing me.
It was the way he kissed me. It wasn’t the sweet, gentle Jonathan Fields way. It was different, hungrier. Like he wanted something from me. Jonathan ran a hand up my skirt. In that moment, I knew what he wanted.
“No.” I managed to say. I gently moved his hand away.
“Come on.” He said. “We’re both ready.” He kissed me again. I centered one hand on his chest and pushed him off me.
“No.” I said. “No, you’re ready. I told you I’m not having sex until marriage.” I stood up again and opened my door. “Bye.” Jonathan stood up and slammed the door shut. He grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Little bitch.” He said and threw me against the door. I hit it with a loud thud.
“Slut.” He said. He backhanded me across the face.
“What are you doing?” I asked. I bade tears now to fall, although they threatened to come pouring down.
“You little tease.” Jonathan hissed. “You were just pulling me along, weren’t you?”
“Why would you say that?” I asked. Don’t cry, don’t cry, I told myself.
“Just playing with me. Was it some type of sick game?” Jonathan asked. I shook my head and began to cry.
“Please, stop.” I begged, cried. He grabbed my hair and pulled me away from the door.
“We’re over, Melody. Over.” He said and stomped down the stairs and out of my house.
I crawled back into my bed and began to cry.

Romeo, take me somewhere was can be alone, I’ve been waiting, all we have to do is run. You’ll the be Prince, I’ll be the Princess. It’s a love story, baby just say yes.




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Very emotional and true work which, sadly enough, has an inevitable ending. I wonder if this is from a past experience and if it is I'm truly sorry. There are a hand full of guys that 'step out of line' when it comes to this subject, and thankfully I know how to treat a girl and do not fit in to the category listed above. Your take on the matter was true and quite vivid.
Great work Cross!
-Dawn
C.Mejia




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Sorry if I am being a bit stupid but is this just a short story or an extract from something you are working from? If it is just a short story I think that you could work on this and make it into something longer as their relationship would be an interesting this to explore. I would like to know more about the girl - we don't know how old she is, although I'm assuming that the character is young (15, 16?). It would be interesting to just know that little bit more. (But thats just my curiosity getting the better of me :P)


“Slut.” He said. He backhanded me across the face.
“What are you doing?” I asked. I bade tears now to fall, although they threatened to come pouring down.

-I think here it is a bit unusual that you didn't mention the pain that a backhand across the face would inflict. Yes she cries but it's almost as if she immediatly accepted being hit - wasn't overly shocked by what had just happenedv - especially if this was the first time he had physically abused her.

This does need a little bit of work, but overall it is good and an interesting subject to explore. I would reccommend maybe reading about domestic violence a bit and see how people reacted the first time it happened?

Good luck, and keep up the good work!

Jesse
I've frequently not been on boats.




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oh, no, no, no, no. Um, not a past experience, but thanks guys



Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise!
— The 12th Doctor