Underneath It All [Ch. 3]

2 posts
Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 30
Taylor sauntered into her first-period History class. Clumps of students sat on desks and socialized.
Taylor sat down and took out a binder labelled History. She put it on the corner of the desk and waited for the teacher.
A tall, dark-haired man walked into the room. He had gleaming blue eyes and a brilliant smile.
Taylor gaped as he set his briefcase on the desk. He was the History teacher? Wow.
Taylor fixed her hair and sat up straight in her desk. She ripped open her binder and began copying everything the teacher wrote on the board. She didn’t want to make a bad impression on her gorgeous History teacher.
“Hello class. Welcome to History. My name is Mr. Reed. This year we will be studying a variety of aspects of our History – local, world and ancient history are among them.” He spoke with a nice tone.
Taylor smiled to herself. History had always been one of her best classes… and this teacher will make it that much better.
“Now, please copy down these notes.” He turned to the blackboard and began writing. Taylor carefully copied the notes, making sure to dot the letter “I” with a heart.
Mr. Reed flicked the chalk onto his desk and opened his briefcase. “Before the end of class, I’d like each of you to look over this outline. It will give you a view of what topics we’ll be covering this year.”
He walked around the room, distributing the papers. As he passed Taylor’s desk, she twirled a lock of hair and winked at him.
“Taylor, is there a problem?” He stopped.
“No, Mr. Reed…” Taylor looked at the piece of paper he’d put on the desk. Before she could digest any of the words, the bell rang. As Taylor left the room, she waved to Mr. Reed. He waved back slightly and turned away.
Taylor blushed and kept herself busy while walking to her next class by counting the floor tiles.
Just before entering her Physics classroom, her cell phone rang. It was a text message, from an unknown sender. She clicked OPEN MESSAGE.

Tay,

The new History teacher is cute, isn’t he? I’m not quite sure if he’s interested in tenth-grade girls though…
If you were smart [and I know you are!] I’d stop trying to get a twenty-four year old man interested in you.
It could lead to some naughty things…

- L


Taylor felt her neck get hotter. Did anyone else notice that she was blushing a lot? Did they care?
She stuffed her phone into her pocket and struggled to focus through a lecture on the speed of light.
All she could think about though, was how gorgeous Mr. Reed looked when he raised his eyebrows. Dimples surfaced on his cheeks and his blue eyes sparkled.
He was hot. She knew that much. And luckily for her, History was an area she excelled in.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 5225
Reviews 17
RedRaven wrote:Taylor sauntered into her first-period History class. Another chick? Clumps of students sat on desks and socialized.
Taylor sat down and took out a binder labelled History. She put it on the corner of the desk and waited for the teacher. This was too mechanical. No emotion from her at all. We need to know how she is feeling how she is acting.
A tall, dark-haired man walked into the room. He had gleaming blue eyes and a brilliant smile.
Taylor gaped as he This made me think you were talking about Taylor. I thought for a moment that he was suddenly a guy. Change that. set his briefcase on the desk. He was the History teacher? Wow. Is that a thought? Put that in italics. Taylor fixed her hair and sat up straight in her desk. She ripped open her binder and began copying everything the teacher wrote on the board. She didn’t want to make a bad impression on her gorgeous History teacher. Okay, really, no. Did not get that he is gorgeous. We need to know more about his appearance and need more of a reaction from her to indicate that she finds him hawt or whatever girls say. Girls are freakin' weird.
“Hello class. Welcome to History. My name is Mr. Reed. This year we will be studying a variety of aspects of our History – local, world and ancient history are among them.” He spoke with a nice tone. This teacher's dialog was better than the English teacher. Nice to know this school has employed someone who should teach kids. But, when you said "nice tone" I was thinking, what is a nice tone? Husky? Squeaky? I know what a nice tone is to me (Hayden Christensen btw) but what is a nice tone to Taylor?
Taylor smiled to herself. History had always been one of her best classes… and this teacher will make it that much better.
“Now, please copy down these notes.” He turned to the blackboard and began writing. Taylor carefully copied the notes, making sure to dot the letter “I” with a heart.
Mr. Reed flicked the chalk onto his desk and opened his briefcase. “Before the end of class, I’d like each of you to look over this outline. It will give you a view of what topics we’ll be covering this year.”
He walked around the room, distributing the papers. As he passed Taylor’s desk, she twirled a lock of hair and winked at him. Whoa, maybe he shouldn't teach kids if those kids are freakin' whores. Seriously, she just went into slut mode and I mentally le-gasped because it was so shocking. Do you want her to be a whore? If not, dilute that a bit, I think.
“Taylor, is there a problem?” He stopped.
“No, Mr. Reed…” Taylor looked at the piece of paper he’d put on the desk. Before she could digest any of the words, the bell rang. As Taylor left the room, she waved to Mr. Reed. He waved back slightly and turned away.
Taylor blushed and kept herself busy while walking to her next class by counting the floor tiles.
Just before entering her Physics classroom, her cell phone rang. It was a text message, from an unknown sender. She clicked OPEN MESSAGE.

Tay,

The new History teacher is cute, isn’t he? I’m not quite sure if he’s interested in tenth-grade girls though…
If you were smart [and I know you are!] I’d stop trying to get a twenty-four year old man interested in you.
It could lead to some naughty things…

- L

That kinda made me feel creeped out inside. Good job. I love these text messages, I want to know who is sending them. You are doing your job there.

Taylor felt her neck get hotter. Did anyone else notice that she was blushing a lot? Did they care? Did they? Just tell us! Set the scene and tell us what is happening for a change. We would love that.
She stuffed her phone into her pocket and struggled to focus through a lecture on the speed of light.
All she could think about though, was how gorgeous Mr. Reed looked when he raised his eyebrows. Dimples surfaced on his cheeks and his blue eyes sparkled.
He was hot. She knew that much. And luckily for her, History was an area she excelled in.


OMG maybe you do want her to be a whore, because let me tell you, she is a whore, and wow. She's like a sexual predator but one that wont get imprisoned (Michael Jackson? Too soon? Too late?). I like it, too. I like this slutty twist, I think you should go with that. She was miles better than the other two characters, who I do not want to read about again.

But yeah, very well done, I am impressed. Keep going, I'll be here when you need me. Not literally, I have a life kinda, but I will read your next chapter once it's posted.

Evil



flamin hot cool ranch doritos say a lot about the duality of man
— dissonance