Splinter

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1726
Reviews 266
This is a very... involved poem. The rhythm, and how it related to the content (especially the last few lines) are very important, and a bit hard to understand. I hope someone get the idea.


SPLINTER

'Twas in the wood I got it
.....A consummate art, I the artist;
.....you lag, but covet quickly barbs and spears
.....I thought were mine alone.
.....I calculate, quick, but careful,
.....and should I slip? whose heart is harshest,
.....and whose heart winces yet?

But then I could not find it
.....It's turn and turn about, you tell me;
.....no words, but bloody gestures here and there
.....that serve to suppurate.
.....I twist myself, wise, but silent,
.....and as for you? I taught you knifeplay,
.....yet now my hands are knifed.

So in my hand I took it
.....Our two spectators circle, mournful;
.....patient, but fearful yet for final blows
.....that sever limbs and ties.
.....You shatter me, stained, but vengeful,
.....and what's the price? my shivered edges,
.....cutting as they tumble.

And homeward did I bring it
.....Is it thicker or thinner, bad blood;
.....flowing, but sluggish here and there ablaze
.....engulfing all who care.
.....I hope in fear, mute, but longing,
.....and why the cage? pride binds my words fast,
.....and silences the tongue.

Splintered; even here.
The Oneday Cafe
though we do not speak, we are by no means silent.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 11
Wow, bob, this is really good.

Knifing is such a cool verb.

This was my favorite part, 'It's turn and turn about, you tell me; / no words, but bloody gestures here and there'. Awesome imagery there.

Again, nice work.


Bette
All I learned in life, I learned from reading banned books.

I like my life with a little salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 53
I loved it, the language is so sharp and coarse. I'm not sure I understood it, I did try!

"and why the cage? pride binds my words fast,
.....and silences the tongue.

Splintered; even here." My favourite part :D
Alice♥
"stay up all night with the stars."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Gah... you have such a dry tone. Why can't you be angsty and overdramatic like everyone else?
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D



We are great at fearing the wrong things.
— Hank Green