Silence at night,
might give you a fright.
When every thing is quiet
during the dark night
jasminebells wrote:Silence at night,
might give you a fright.
When every thing is quiet
during the dark night This is veryyy forced rhyme, try not to do so.
But when the stars shine,
they make it bright;
Because the stars make This is veryyyy redundent.And kinda seems like it was described a child.. Sorry.
the shiny light
In the middle of the night, The ryhme issue is here again and well, there's no imagery, you're telling us, talking to us, not with us.
you stare at the stars
you feel the nice breeze
and you see part of Mars
You hear the leaves move with the breeze
As they silently move through the tall trees
But when you wake up in the middle of the night when weren't we awake...?
When everything is quiet,
And might give you a fright
During the dark night as it may seem
But feeling and hearing the woosh of the trees. you broke your rhyme! Although it was okay, since it was forced, yay yay.
You may want to reword this and rearrange it, so that it makes more sense and gives more of a lively feeling, like it starts off with waking up, you know?