Leah

L is for lovely in every single way
E is for enjoying your presence during the day
A is for your IQ that must surpace us all
H is for the way my heart flutters when I pass you in the hall
You don’t think your special,
You don’t think your cool,
(You don’t even think your anything new,)
You think you’re unappreciated,
You look down upon your IQ,
But the fact,
Dear Leah,
Is that somebody loves you…


This is actually my name and then I kind of broke it down. I'm not talking about someone else, I'm kind of hoping for my own sake or whatever. Yep, that's all...
The part in paranthesis is optional, I don't know if I should keep it or not, so please give me your opinion!

You seem to have a very high opinion of yourself. I'm just joking. As with the other review of your work that I've given you, this is great. But there's a problem.

You don’t think your special,
You don’t think your cool,

your is You're in this situation. You do this in one other instance, so I would revise. Other than that, nice work! GOLD STAR!!! Keep writing.

Yeah, when I was writing it, it seemed a bit awkward. Not one of my better ones and every time I reread it, it gets worse. Thank you for reading my poems, I love writing them!

Hi,

This is lovely.

I think "during the day" is too long so I'd try to shorten it. I was going to say "every", but you've already used it, so I'm out of ideas, but maybe have a think about it. I'd also read it aloud to get a sense of the sound.

I'd change the third line because using "all" at the end of the line for the 'a' is stretching it a bit too far.

The second section is really sweet and flows nicely. I'd put a space before it so it stands out.

Hope this helps.

Jas

Hey iheartbooks! Or Leah? Whatever.

So this is pretty cool. I like how you mixed acrostic and free verse into one, and managed to make it rhyme, at that. Overall, this is good.

I only have a few nitpicks:

L is for lovely in every single way
E is for enjoying your presence during the day
A is for your IQ that must surpace us all
H is for the way my heart flutters when I pass you in the hall

For one, you shouldn't use bold in poetry. If you want to put emphasis on certain words or letters, use italics. That's what they're there for!

Also, 'surpace' is written correctly as 'surpass.' And even then, it wouldn't be correct. Change it to 'surpasses.'

You don’t think your special,
You don’t think your cool,
(You don’t even think your anything new,)
You think you’re unappreciated,

As Vasticity said, 'your' should be 'you're.' Also, I like the line in parentheses. Keep it!

You look down upon your IQ,
But the fact,
Dear Leah,
Is that somebody loves you…

You've already said 'IQ' in the first part of your poem. It's too repetitive. And another little thing, I think the second line of this part could use another syllable. Try, "But the fact is." It seems much better to me.

Hope I could help!

You may want to try imagery and things, you know let the reader connect with what you're saying. It's a lot more fun to be talked with rather than talked to.'
Good luck, keep writing.
Silented1.