Date: January 1, 2016
10: 27AM
So here I am writing this, just like the stupid therapist told me to. Of course, give the suicidal girl a pretty pink notebook, tell her to write in it every day like it's some diary you write your crushes in and everything will be fine. I mean, it's not like I'm crazy or something. I'm just so bored of life. There really isn't any point to it. You live, you die. It's not like Jane Does like me are going to be remembered for anything. Religion is bullshit. History is bullshit. The future is bullshit. Everything just sucks. I'm not one of those religious psychos who kill themselves thinking that they're going straight to heaven or someone who's going to suicide bomb someplace for like 100 virgins or some crap like that. I'm just bored.
12:02AM
Sitting on my cot thing hasn't lessened my boredom. The nurse came in and tried to get me to eat breakfast but I threw my pillow at her and she finally left. My therapist is ridiculous. She insisted I call her Kristy and kept talking about how I feel. This is a typical conversation with her:
Kristy: So tell me Charlotte, how do you feel?
Me: *blinks*
Kristy: Do you feel sad? Angry? Lonely?
Me: *blinks* I feel like sleeping.
Kristy: *grabs her drug dealer psychiatrist pad and pen* Would you like Ambien?
Me: *sighs* No
Kristy: Oh. All right then. Then you are excused from our meeting and you can go to sleep. Just wait a second for me to call in the nurse.
Me: *stares at wall*
She just irks me. Ugh. She seemed so willing to give me the drugs. That's pretty creepy. I guess I do feel sad and angry and lonely. Not like I'm telling her. I'm going to bed.
2: 54PM
The nurse in her perfect white lab coat came in about a half hour ago and asked me to eat lunch. I told her a couple of words I'd rather not write here, in case my dearest mother ever reads this. Stupid mother who decided that instead of caring for her daughter on her own with her super fancy PhD, she takes her to GreenDrift Rehabilitation Center. What a bitch. Oh the nurse is back...with two guards. Ooh goody! Its time for therapy! See you soon! Kisses <3
10:09pm
Back from hell. The guards with their stun guns sort of forced me to go outside and socialize. What the hell? Everyone here are failures at life who can't even do well at dying. What the hell are we supposed to talk about? The best way to kill yourself? Whether or not to leave a big mess after you do the deed?
Mostly, we just sat under the shade of the trees and moaned about how we hated this place. There was this couple who told me they tried to do a double-suicide. They spent the whole "socialization" time making out which was pretty nasty. I didn't even try to talk to anyone. They're all either stoned on the drugs and sit around doing nothing, or completely bonkers and mutter weird shit. I think I'm somewhere in between...God. How'd I get myself here?
